To say fuck it all and get on a train

[LearningMySelfWorth]

I'm struggling at the moment with my mental health and I cannot cope anymore with the relationships I have with the people around me. AIBU to tell them that I'm gonna take some time for myself and then get on a train to go to a theme park and stay in a hotel overnight and bloody well enjoy myself for once? I know it won't fix the issue but if I don't get away I'm going to break.

YANBU, as long as you plan to tell them you are going away for a couple of days, and let someone know where you'll be and for how long (that doesn't have to be a uni person though).

Its fine to have some you time, just not to make people worry unnecessarily. It is also totally fine to point out you are not their mum, as often as you need to, I had to grow up fast so was always mum to my college and uni friends, it is draining and at some point you have to tell them they are in fact not 5 and you are not their mum!

MrDarcy. You manage to come across as very self-satisfied on pretty much every thread on which you post. Try not to be smug, it really isn’t a nice trait.

Somewhere in the mists of the MN threads was a comment that ‘No’ is a complete sentence. I think you need some help in re-establishing your boundaries amongst your university cohorts, to move on.

So, start putting yourself first. Go and seek help. Pp have made some excellent suggestions. It’s great that you’ve been aware of what’s going on with your MH and are taking steps to help yourself.

I’ve found exercise to be my saviour at keeping me sane(ish!) so think C25k is an excellent idea. It would be a healthy boost to your weight loss as an added bonus.

Enjoy your mini break, and at least let your flat mates know your plans.

and I'm sick of playing 'mum' and being the one to sort things

It seems to me that you need help to sort yourself out. Maybe a visit to Student Services to start the advice and assistance you need?

@MrDarcyWillBeMine

"You sound like you have the least possible amount of stress (first year is a walk in the park) and are just completely unable to cope with it! So you’re blaming the younger kids around you! 🤔 I wonder why I don’t struggle having to be everyone’s ‘mum’ "

Nope, no chance! that would require basic empathy....

I remember that feeling from.when I was a mature student. I was 25, while most of them were 21 or 22 (it was an MA). The younger students were ok at looking after themselves but a lot of them were from overseas and I became increasingly alarmed that they would be going back to their homes abroad thinking Coventry/Birmingham was all the UK had to offer! I rented a minibus and we all went to a youth hostel in the Lake District for the weekend. It was nice. We bonded a bit as a group. I was in a better place personally though. I think this could be a new start for you if you take some of the suggestions here and prioritise yourself. I hate theme parks but I know what you mean. I like to go on residential music courses where I get fed and watered, without having to run round after DH, DD and my students.

YANBU. Everyone needs a timeout occasionally. Just make sure that you're prepared to get back to reality at some point

Take a day or two away, then start planning to live with different people next academic year. I’m sure there are mature and post-grad students looking to share. That’ll give you something to look forward to.
Are you genuinely happy with the course you’ve chosen? I’d definitely see a student counsellor and talk things over - sometimes unhappiness with other aspects of our lives make us blame the more obvious causes, but there may be an underlying dissatisfaction that you haven’t yet processed. Definitely take the break, it’ll help give you clarity, but do let people know your plans and maybe plan to go go for a coffee with a friend when you get back.

Second medical help / 111

I don't think wanting to go and have some fun is an indication of anything that wanting some pleasure out of life. However, if you ALSO make plans to have your mental health issues addressed so you are no longer feeling desperate this would be the way forward.
I know what its like to be under awful pressure and get so depressed because of outside influence.
GPs are not good at sorting out the issues that may surround mental illness, most will push you a packet of pills so you do need a good GP.
You are a good kind caring person who needs to learn self worth is NOT helping others but meeting your own needs. gentle hugs