Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the UK is no longer an attractive place to live

396 replies

Elloduckie · 31/01/2019 12:25

NC here for this one. DH to be and I are getting married next year and we were looking to set up and be based here. But with everything going on, the UK does not seem that attractive to live.

Currently London based, we want/need to be somewhere that is diverse, have no patience bigotry etc. Though living in London doesn't make you immune from that!!

But to raise kids and work, it just doesn't seem like the UK is the place to be anymore. Does anyone else feel like this?
Thing is, we would we move to? Both are very mobile career wise and speak a few languages so that will not be an issue. Money wise should be fine too. Its literally a question of where else is good, diverse to raise kids and not colder than the UK (ruling out the Scandinavian countries).

Suggestions please..

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 01/02/2019 14:22

Imo this was the intention of Brexiteers, to make our country shit enough that people don’t want to come here and just leave it to the natives. I’ve heard people refer to it as a price worth paying if it stops immigration

Actually in my case you are wrong. I am happy for anyone from the EU to come here and work and contribute. The people I would like to see leave are the incessantly negative and whining Remainers who threaten to move from the UK but unfortunately few have had the guts to do so.

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 14:37

@SilverySurfer

Actually in my case you are wrong. I am happy for anyone from the EU to come here and work and contribute. The people I would like to see leave are the incessantly negative and whining Remainers who threaten to move from the UK but unfortunately few have had the guts to do so.

Amen to that!!! Grin

Alwayscheerful · 01/02/2019 15:20

@badlydrawnperson -wind up? Possibly, or is it journalist research, "children not here yet" where are the children?

blueshoes · 01/02/2019 15:21

If you are not Chinese or white ethnicity, Singapore is racist.

crazycanuck · 01/02/2019 15:35

People pointing out that Canada is too cold, it’s a vast country with many different climates. The west coast (Vancouver, Vancouver Island, Sunshine Coast etc) is extremely mild, quite similar to the UK. Sorry if this has already been brought up, I have to go to work and didn’t have time to read the whole thread.

MerdedeBrexit · 01/02/2019 15:46

Yes, I agree with you, I think YANBU - ONLY because of Brexit and the underlying xenophobia and misogyny that it has brought to the surface, and the mess that is being made of the UK's withdrawal from the EU and the lack of awareness of the absolute need for the Good Friday Agreement to remain in place. Sadly, I live abroad now and will not be retiring to my home country of England because of Brexit, simply.

Backwoodsgirl · 01/02/2019 15:49

UK became a un- attractive place to live for us in 2008. In 2013 we moved to the USA and have never looked back.

Every holiday back to the UK reaffirms to us we made the right choice. Every trip it gets worse and worse.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 01/02/2019 15:55

UK became a un- attractive place to live for us in 2008. In 2013 we moved to the USA and have never looked back.

Every holiday back to the UK reaffirms to us we made the right choice. Every trip it gets worse and worse.

My SIL is from USA. She says the same when she goes back there.

Every trip back to the USA confirms she will never go back and live there.

Each to their own.

Backwoodsgirl · 01/02/2019 15:59

@PigletWasPoohsFriend

Yep each to their own,

juneau · 01/02/2019 16:19

Every holiday back to the UK reaffirms to us we made the right choice. Every trip it gets worse and worse.

Believe me when I say that sitting here in the UK looking at the US (and the flipping mess that is the Trump presidency), we feel just the same way! And I'm a dual citizen, so could live in either country (and have), before you ask how I would know.

ZigZagZombie · 01/02/2019 16:23

I can't believe how wrong I've been. :( When were Birmingham, Manchester, Bradford, Leeds, Bristol et al ethnically cleansed? #prayforGreaterLondon

Wonkypalmtree · 01/02/2019 16:23

So much England bashing going on at the moment!

Backwoodsgirl · 01/02/2019 16:27

juneau

I am also Dual, DH just became a US citizen.

US isn’t perfect, nowhere is, but it’s good enough for us, presidents don’t last!

blueshoes · 01/02/2019 16:30

As between US or UK being better, it depends on which ethnic group you belong to.

juneau · 01/02/2019 18:06

Backwoodsgirl No, you're right, neither country is perfect, but we weighed up the various things that matter to us and this country came out on top in just about every category.

Yes, Brexit sucks, as does the rise in gangs and knife crime, and I'm worried about the state of the NHS (and know someone who died last week, almost certainly because she had to wait for 7 months for her urgent operation due to a shortage of ICU beds), but education is generally better here, our kids don't have to practice 'lockdown' at their schools in case a madman with a gun bursts in and tries to kill them, we don't have a megalomaniac idiot as president (we just have a bunch of useless ditherers running the country instead), we get decent paid maternity leave, a minimum of four weeks paid holiday per year, and we have the wonders of Europe on our doorstep.

I hope, for all our sakes, that this president is gone very soon. God bless America!

Darnsquirrels · 01/02/2019 18:19

We don't practice lock downs where we are in the States. Hmm

IrmaFayLear · 01/02/2019 18:23

fyi dd's school in the UK had a lockdown practice recently.

In July 2017, teaching union the NASUWT called for all schools to have a concrete protocol to be used in the event of a dangerous event happening on or near the premises, and in practice, more and more schools are adopting a ‘lockdown plan’.

Want2bSupermum · 01/02/2019 18:26

Actually education and healthcare are the main reasons we stay here in the US. Our elder two DC have autism and the disability legislation is much stronger here. There is a lot of help available for the disabled which just isn't available in the UK. State school education is far too inconsistent and politicians need to step out in the UK. Standards are quite here here in the public schools and the gap between public and private schools is very narrow, with many public schools being much better than private ones.

My kid got into Spence in Manhattan which is an elite school. We send her to our local public school. She is a 2nd grader doing 5th grade work. She is in a specialist class now with 6 others. The teaching is amazing, 1-1s for math and English and she is with her peers for everything else. This would not be offered in the UK. We would be going private and she would be moving up the year groups. I like that she is with her peer group but is still academically challenged.

Want2bSupermum · 01/02/2019 18:29

I really don't have an issue with my DCs practicing lock downs. I see it as the equivalent of a fire alarm. The have had lockdowns for various reasons, one time my DD ran out of class and hid. They couldn't find her so protocol is to lockdown the school perimeter. It's also been used before when a parent going through a divorce had a breakdown. They attacked their spouse and left to go to school to pick up the DC. They went into lockdown.

Darnsquirrels · 01/02/2019 18:29

Yes were staying in the States mostly for ds's education.

Darnsquirrels · 01/02/2019 18:32

We're Grin

juneau · 01/02/2019 18:32

Oh I don't mind schools have a disaster preparedness plan, but I do mind kids knowing that a shooter could enter their school and try to hunt them down and kill them with a fucking military grade weapon! I know that did happen here once (Dunblane), but that one terrible incident led to a change in the law, something which is unlikely to happen in my lifetime in the good ol' US of A. I mean, if Sandy Hook can't persuade people that gun control is needed, nothing can.

MyNameIsArthur · 01/02/2019 18:42

*UK became a un- attractive place to live for us in 2008. In 2013 we moved to the USA and have never looked back.

Every holiday back to the UK reaffirms to us we made the right choice. Every trip it gets worse and worse.*

The NHS here in the UK saved my life when I had a stem cell transplant to cure blood cancer. I have talked with many people in the USA (and in other countries) who have had to sell their homes and cars to fund the same treatment bevause they have lost their medical insurance when they have lost their jobs, or their insurance has not been adequate enough. I feel very lucky to live in this country and be able to have this treatment without having to worry about paying for it. This country has its faults but there is a lot of good in it too.

MamaDane · 01/02/2019 18:44

To the people who said Denmark and Copenhagen, my advice to black people is "don't" because there's a huuuuuge difference between the UK and Denmark.

For example, in Denmark it is OK to make racist jokes, to say the n word (as long as you're either joking or being playful).

My DP moved from the UK and works at a place with a 1000 other people and she was shocked at the cultural differences.

Danes are more casual, whether it's clothes, one guy for example wore a "sleep is for pussies" t-shirt to work, or if it's humor. Danes also tend to be direct and it can be considered rude and e.g. you will be considered rude if you ask a Dane how they are doing, and they answer bluntly, and you are surprised because you expected "I'm fine/good, you?"

If a black person is OK with racially charged jokes and comments then they'd be fine here, but if not, I wouldn't recommend it at all.

Good luck OP. But I don't see how it gets much better than London (and the UK) if I'm honest.

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 18:53

@backwoodgirl

The UK became a un-attractive place to live for us in 2008. In 2013 we moved to the USA and have never looked back.

Every holiday back to the UK reaffirms to us we made the right choice. Every trip it gets worse and worse.

Jolly good that you made the right choice!

Personally, I wouldn't live in America in a million years. I actually feel sorry for anyone who lives there. Got to be the worst country to live in the western world. (For SO many reasons.) I'd rather live in a shed under a motorway bridge.

Glad you are happy though! Good for you! 👍👍👍

To all the people who hate the UK, and think it's a shit hole. You know exactly what you can do. I don't think I need to spell it out, do I?

Swipe left for the next trending thread