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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the UK is no longer an attractive place to live

396 replies

Elloduckie · 31/01/2019 12:25

NC here for this one. DH to be and I are getting married next year and we were looking to set up and be based here. But with everything going on, the UK does not seem that attractive to live.

Currently London based, we want/need to be somewhere that is diverse, have no patience bigotry etc. Though living in London doesn't make you immune from that!!

But to raise kids and work, it just doesn't seem like the UK is the place to be anymore. Does anyone else feel like this?
Thing is, we would we move to? Both are very mobile career wise and speak a few languages so that will not be an issue. Money wise should be fine too. Its literally a question of where else is good, diverse to raise kids and not colder than the UK (ruling out the Scandinavian countries).

Suggestions please..

OP posts:
marymarkle · 01/02/2019 09:26

I understand the OP. Britain seems to be a backwards looking country, rather than forwards looking one. Constantly harping back to a supposedly better past. That is not a sign of a dynamic country, but one in steady decline.

ElonMask · 01/02/2019 09:29

YABVU London is far more diverse than almost anywhere in the world. If you like 'mulitculuralsim' maybe move up to Bradford etc, plenty of diversity up there.

Lovelyflowerstoday · 01/02/2019 09:35

Mary I think sadly Brexit is making us look like that to the rest of the world but London was pretty much remain throughout.

RedDwarves · 01/02/2019 09:37

Well, I'm happy living in Australia, but Australia/Australians get slated on here.

juneau · 01/02/2019 09:38

The USA is extremely diverse - much more so than the UK - and as a mixed race family you would feel very at home in many places. As for guns and Trump and all the rest - well only you can decide on those issues - but don't assume it's easy to move to the US unless you have the right to do so (a US spouse, the offer of a job, etc). If you are self-employed with no residency rights in the USA then I really think you may as well write it off as an option ... because you'll struggle to get permission to live there.

Uptheduffagai · 01/02/2019 09:43

I’m really surprised people are berating the OP for not wanting to be the only black family. Unless you have actually experienced what that is like and the damage it can have to a young child. I’ve lived all around the U.K. (south, small islands, Scotland) and spent a lot of years in a town in Scotland where children had never even seen a black person before, everyone at school used to ask me if it was a tan. If I were you OP I’d find somewhere in the U.K. there’s lots of places I’d like to move to abroad but wouldn’t as I’d be massively concerned about racist attitudes. And agree with you about US.

Search around you might be surprised where you end up, I live in a part of the U.K. that’s usually written off but it has low cost living and very liberal and progressive attitudes and great community vibe.

sansou · 01/02/2019 09:43

Why have you only got a year and a half to go in the U.K? What’s stopping you from relocating from London sooner than that?

I thought the OP is looking for non U.K suggestions despite the thread derailing to mainly other U.K places outside London.

.

badlydrawnperson · 01/02/2019 09:48

Mary I think sadly Brexit is making us look like that to the rest of the world but London was pretty much remain throughout.

What a load of twaddle - there were large areas of the rest of the UK that were predominantly remain - including notably all of NI and Scotland. London is not the only place in the UK.

badlydrawnperson · 01/02/2019 09:49

I’m really surprised people are berating the OP for not wanting to be the only black family

They aren't - they are berating her for suggesting that the only place to live in order to avoid that is London, which is, frankly, stupid.

RiverTam · 01/02/2019 09:58

I think that MN likely to proudly think itself colour-blind, which is a highly privileged position to be in, and really rather dimwitted. A bit 'I don't see the problem' that you get on so many threads.

WitchesWeb · 01/02/2019 10:03

I’m really surprised people are berating the OP for not wanting to be the only black family.

No posters are saying she is in a London bubble and has ridiculous steretypes about the rest oc the country that are not true.

I thought the OP is looking for non U.K suggestions despite the thread derailing to mainly other U.K places outside London.

It isn't derailing to tell OP that her London centric view of UK is incorrect.

PineapplePower · 01/02/2019 11:50

Elloduckie Glad Atlanta is on your shortlist!

I think non-Americans dismiss the South out of hand; it’s really not what the stereotypes suggest! Some very vibrant, diverse communities there. Others have suggested Austin/Houston and those cities are more mixed in a way and very liberal, but I think the black communities are stronger in cities in Georgia/North Carolina/Virginia/Tennessee (I should have mentioned Memphis as well!)

Just avoid the Midwestern/Eastern cities like Chicago/Cleveland/Philadelphia/Detroit/St Louis/NYC as they just have so many endemic problems that many black people are leaving to move back down South

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 11:57

I am rather amused (like some others) that some people think everyone who voted for Brexit in the UK are racist, bigoted, thick, and hate immigrants. So if they go to another country, everything (and everyONE) will be all fluffy and cuddly and lovely and cute, and will just ADORE immigrants!

They are in for a shock. Grin

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 11:59

@RedDwarves

I don't hate Australia, and I certainly don't hate Australians!!!

I would just never move there.

No desire to live there, and would never leave my family and friends behind.

I'd only leave the UK (and go THAT far) if I had no-one in the UK who meant anything to me.

flirtygirl · 01/02/2019 12:14

Lots of pp knocking the op up the thread but the UK has huge parts that are not very diverse, so she has a point to be worried about being the only black in the village.

In cities and larger towns, yes we have diversity but look at the UK stats, 93 - 100% white in many areas.

And many on Mn live in middle class bubbles of tolerance and acceptance. Not accepting that for many people, they are not made to feel welcome in some areas due to race, class and colour.

It's not nice for a child to grow up with no one like them at all, in their school. It affects self esteem and learning opportunities and this is the reality for some areas in the UK.

Brexit has also polarised the country and its hard having brown or black skin in this climate. It also hard to be European in this climate, ie white skinned but currently socially persona non grata.

Dimsumlosesum · 01/02/2019 12:14

My non white husband and mixed race kids have no problem here in the UK. We are not in a major city, and have moved a couple of times. Spain was horrific for him when he was studying there. America was pretty bad too, and he was in a relatively naice city and only for a few months, but had more racism directed at him than almost 40 years in the UK.

WitchesWeb · 01/02/2019 12:18

Lots of pp knocking the op up the thread but the UK has huge parts that are not very diverse, so she has a point to be worried about being the only black in the village.

As do parts of London and Greater London. It is the way it was said and the assumptions behind it that have annoyed people.

Brexit has also polarised the country and its hard having brown or black skin in this climate. It also hard to be European in this climate, ie white skinned but currently socially persona non grata.

You have assumed that posters on this thread don't have black or brown skin or European.

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 12:20

@flirtygirl do you seriously think that the UK is the only country in the world that has 'parts of the country' where it's not very diverse? Do you seriously think other countries have no racism or bigotry or class-ism, and they all just LOOOOOVE immigrants? Confused

You must be incredibly naive if you think any other country in the WORLD will be any different, or any better than ours when it comes to accepting people from other countries or ethnic backgrounds.

Some countries are considerably worse than ANYwhere in the UK.

But if the OP - or anyone else - is not happy in the UK, and they feel we are a bigoted nation, then they are free to move to another country. As a few posters have said though, be careful what you wish for..................

flirtygirl · 01/02/2019 12:21

I looked this question recently as wanted to move to somewherw diverse in the UK... and there of some nice diverse places, some are pricy areas, some are cheaper and some were were a no go for housing and schooling but op the UK still has a lot going for it and if Brexit gets cancelled then it can get strong again. Brexit has decimated the pound and lost us industries and business and will continue to do more damage economically and socially.

More has been spent on Brexit then the UK has given to the European union in 45 years of membership. Ponder that.

Meadowland · 01/02/2019 12:27

@flirtygirl Great point well made.

newnameforthis7 · 01/02/2019 12:29

Great point well made flirtygirl

That's a matter of opinion.

And sorry Brexit is not being cancelled.

Sorry to burst your wee bubbles.

badlydrawnperson · 01/02/2019 12:30

You have assumed that posters on this thread don't have black or brown skin or European.
Also assumed that no black or brown skinned persons could possibly have voted leave. I know a few who did.

IrmaFayLear · 01/02/2019 12:32

These threads pop up every so often and are full of crap.

For a start you can't just rock up in any country and decide you'll live there, especially the US, Canada and Australia. It's also a bit ironic that people throw up their hands in horror at the US, when actually there are millions of people (the Wall, anyone?) who would give their eye teeth to get there. The whole of the US is not full of gun-toting KKK members. Any more than the UK is full of one type of person.

Also Europe. One homogenous mass of liberal-leaning Europhiles who love children. NOT !!!!!!!!! It beggars belief how a not insignificant number of posters just see stereotypes and have absolutely no idea what other countries are actually like, how they operate, their economies etc etc.

Also it is a bit... self-centred, I suppose, to think one has the right to drift around the world cherry picking what suits you the best and have no investment in any particular place and then to move on when it begins to displease you. Should we all be entitled to move en masse and benefit from whatever country is doing well at that particular moment?

badlydrawnperson · 01/02/2019 12:33

More has been spent on Brexit then the UK has given to the European union in 45 years of membership. Ponder that.

Very happy to ponder that. When we see the evidence for that claim and how it's worked out exactly.

IcedPurple · 01/02/2019 12:33

What attracts us to Lisbon is the cuisine, quality of living and overall value for money

"Value for money" as a tourist coming from the UK? Sure. Value for money if you're living and working there, earning Portuguese wages? Assuming you're lucky enough to find a job, given the high unemployment rates? Not so much.

Agree with other posters. Huge amounts of 'grass is greener' and romanticising foreign lands. The UK certainly has its issues but it's still a highly desirable place to live.