Completely lost my shit this morning

[pepperjack]

Just going out the door to defrost the car and Ds tells me it's games kit today. He's suitably apologetic.
One games kit is in the wash, wet, the other one who knows.
Finally find it in the car.
Telling him to hurry up, get his trainers, on, teeth brushed.
Get back in, he's on the toilet.
Back out with the dog, turn car around,
Get back in, he is sitting in the couch on Nintendo and watching the iPad.
Wtf.
I'm banning all screens in the house
I've told him it's for my sanity, he thinks I hate him

Don't know what the aibu is, but I'm sitting crying in the car

I assume your ds is a teen.

I feel your pain.
Time to tell him he needs to shape up.
Bags packed night before if not he loses devices and gets detention at school for no kit.

Send him to school without his kit. Needs to understand consequences to his action or rather lack of actions.

oh Bless you !!! Go home have a coffee !! I know what it feels like my daughter is so dopey of a morning....Things can only get better after 9 am is what I tell myself as before it they couldnt get worse!!!Go on have a cry if you want its fine! On a serious note the only thing I can suggest is a wall planner and get your child to get organized and pack their school bag the night before ...other than that you will stay in our knackered and exhausted and bloody frustrated parents club! We are all over the land we just seethe quietly!!! Hope your day picks up!

We hide ds's Switch the night before. Much smoother morning!!

Feel your pain OP.

I’m also having a mini meltdown in the car.

Were you personally in a hurry to get somewhere? Can you let him drag his feet and then be the one to explain to the school why he is so late?

He's 11
He was dressed in uniform ready to go, genuinely forgot that he had to go in in his games kit.
It's the sitting on the couch with the fucking Nintendo that gets me.

Part of the problem is that he's not bothered if he's late

Ah have your cry and wipe your eyes. I hate monings like that because you feel so disorganised with the uncooperative kid.

New rule, bag needs to be sorted and packed the night before.. then screens and stick to it.

We all have mornings like that sometimes.

X posts

Jheez, not gunna get any better then.. my ds is 9 and sometimes I worry about him and his lack of omph

That sounds like my son. He’s now 20 & at uni. He lives at home, but I no longer wake him or chase him. Told him I’ve done my years of that! It does get better! Maybe not for a while though.

Similar situation here! I've just banned all devices and TV during the week. I keep all phones in the morning until they are all in the car and we're setting off. Phones are left with us to be charged before bed and we can hear them pinging until after midnight with all the messaging etc. that is still going on.

It's all a bit mean I know but otherwise EVERY time I turn my back one of them is staring at a screen when they should be brushing teeth/hair/putting shoes on.

My lot rebelled at first but now mornings are definitely a bit easier and we are more organised. I may relent in a little while if they get into a better routine but like you I was starting to lose my mind with all the nagging that was needed!

Now I just need them to stop playing with the dog and get dressed in less than 20 minutes....

DS (11) gets a detention if late or arriving without required kit (sports or text books). It's his responsibility, he has had several panicked mornings (we've repeatedly suggested he packs his bag the night before but he cba). He'll screw up soon and get a detention, but that's his problem. We have a no screens of any kind rule in the morning...

How infuriating! Also, how extremely typical of a boy if this age.

He knows you will sort it out so why would he do anything other than play Nintendo? It’s not a conscious decision just a default.

It’s absolutely time to get him shaping up to take more responsibility and get himself organised. It won’t be easy and he won’t like it much.

Try not to take it personally, go and have coffee, cake or save up for a glass of wine later. We were probably a bit similar once (actually I wasn’t but my brothers really were. DS2 was worst of the lot. )

Wow, I gritted my teeth just reading that!

Maybe it was good for him to see you lose your shit.

In my day (and in US), having your parents drive you to school was a special treat. It meant you didn't have to ride in the cold noisy school bus. I would have absolutely lost my shit at this as well.

I agree with the others re: consequences. No kit? Get in the car. Ipad is in the car, he gets it then. If hes not in car in time, no ride (if a walk is feasible).

I sympathise.
Sounds like a similar morning to mine.
Usual rush of getting them organised.
We make our way down the icy bank (walking with youngest in pushchair) and then the minute we get to the bottom DS announces he's forgotten his PE kit!
We made our way back up the bank and had to venture all the way back down for a second time on the ice (the joys of living at the top of a steep bank in winter!).

"Part of the problem is that he's not bothered if he's late"

Let him be late & take the consequences then.

Do you have to take him every day?

No screens in the morning solves it. We have no screens until the weekend and they have to earn it during the week by organising their stuff and being ready at the door each morning. Make him earn it OP.

Does the school dish out detentions for lateness? If not they should.

Your son is still young but he is old enough to take responsibility for getting his teeth brushed, P.E kit sorted out etc without parental prompts.

There should be no screens in the morning anyway, there's not enough time.

Kids are a pain, it's natural to lose your shit, at least you care! You are a much better parent than one not bothered and not interested.

I have banned all screen games unless it's a holiday. They can of course use a computer for homework or just to play around, but games are a big no. That's something less at least for me to shout about.

Did you have anywhere to be? If not, I think, if I were you, I'd have just sat waiting in the car for him. If he got in the car with school uniform on, I'd have just taken him like that. Let him deal with the consequences of being late and turning up in the wrong clothes.

(I'd have probably rang the school to tell them, mind, and see if someone that end could give him a bollocking for being late. Might work better coming from them.)

My house every morning. Swearing happened this morning , not proud

Yes ban all screens in the morning. If necessary hide, remove chargers / cables etc etc. Or put on a timer plug! x

Does it get better? ! My DS is 18 next month and still like this . Part of the issue is that it is just so hard to get them to care .... school don’t seem to do anything if they are late, no consequences, no detentions. The ‘unconditional’ offers from uni give teens the idea that they will get into uni ‘whatever’ the grades they receive.

Although I want to be the sort of parent that just ignores all this stuff & leaves them to it I also want to raise a DS who will be capable of earning his own living and running his own home and not end up like some of the useless males you read about on Mumsnet.