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Original poster

Completely lost my shit this morning

115 replies

pepperjack · 31/01/2019 09:14

Just going out the door to defrost the car and Ds tells me it's games kit today. He's suitably apologetic.
One games kit is in the wash, wet, the other one who knows.
Finally find it in the car.
Telling him to hurry up, get his trainers, on, teeth brushed.
Get back in, he's on the toilet.
Back out with the dog, turn car around,
Get back in, he is sitting in the couch on Nintendo and watching the iPad.
Wtf.
I'm banning all screens in the house
I've told him it's for my sanity, he thinks I hate him

OP posts:
thatsmyspace · 31/01/2019 09:56

Same happens here every morning. I swear they will be the death of me.

enjoyingscience · 31/01/2019 09:56

I'm with you. DS 10 is exactly the same. Time has no meaning to that boy.

NutElla5x · 31/01/2019 10:05

My boys are disorganised,lackadaisical and need bombs up their arses to get themselves moving in the mornings too op (my girls are completely different),so I understand your frustration and I'm afraid to say it will probably get worse before it gets better unless you put your foot down now. And that means definitely no screens in the morning for starters.

Glittertwins · 31/01/2019 10:07

Have had similar with a nearly 11 yr old this morning. Perfectly content to sit in front of tv despite not having done his reading or filled out his reading record. So when he deigned to do it, I wrote in his record that he hadn't done enough which means he probably will lose his break time. I'm going to remove the power cable from the tv later.

TheFaerieQueene · 31/01/2019 10:08

I don’t blame you OP. I would have thrown the bloody thing in the bin!

willyloman · 31/01/2019 10:08

Yeah, he's not worried because you are doing all the sweating for him. Get yourself a cuppa and let him bomb out next time. He'll quickly get himself organised. Flowers

Original poster
pepperjack · 31/01/2019 10:10

No I didn't have anywhere to be.
No punishment if they're late- still juniors.
Yes I take him every day
I tried leaving him while I defrosted the car.
He has no concept of time, he got a Fitbit ace for his birthday, but it tells the wrong time- I actually doubt he'd know what time we have to leave.
It's all my own fucking fault
I've tried, honestly I try to get him to be more independent.
He makes his bed, that's about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
pepperjack · 31/01/2019 10:12

Why can't he realise that life would be better without Mum shouting at me to do things

OP posts:
NutElla5x · 31/01/2019 10:12

Does it get better?

I bloody hope so Ragwort because I'm afraid I'll end up having a fucking stroke with the angst and effort it takes to get my 18yr old up and out the door in time for college in the mornings!

WhoNose88 · 31/01/2019 10:13

I've got a DS1 14 and DS2 12 - I absolutely know where you are! We've got a rule that they have to have got dressed, had breakfast, brushed their teeth and packed their school bags before they get anywhere near the computer in the morning - if they take too long, then they don't get on.

It focuses their minds very well Grin

shpoot · 31/01/2019 10:13

Explain to him how upset you are by it and write him a list of things to do and what time to do them. Reminders on his phone maybe? If he ignores the reminder then his switch gets put away for an hour for each reminder missed.

Stick to it like your life depends on it and hopefully he'll get the picture. He makes his bed so he is trainable!

MrPoppysGF · 31/01/2019 10:18

I hope it gives you comfort to hear that your house just reflects hundreds in the morning.

Mine is the same. Whatever time I wake DS up, he still manages to spend so much time in the bathroom that he has only 5 mins left to eat breakfast, have a drink, get blazer and coat on, shoes on and pack bag! (despite asking again and again to pack the night before). then I will say, have you done your teeth, put deodorant on mmm no, back upstairs. have you packed your keys? etc and then both of us are bored and irritated by the sound of my voice.

Now, he has a food exam this morning. I packed the food bag at 11pm last night as had a long day at work and forgot to put an extra piece of parchment paper in. He will be confused why he is one short - just hoping he doesn't put his meringues on a tray without it as they will stick. oh I could cry! - he needs me with him now prompting him through.

Yet, it was up to me to sort myself out at 15, if I didn't do my homework, revision, pack bag it was just hard luck and detention.

Doilooklikeatourist · 31/01/2019 10:19

No phone , Nintendo etc in the morning
BBC breakfast news on the TV or radio 2 ( constant time checks )
Mine are adult now , but DS came home from school in shock one day , after his friend told home he’d been on the PlayStation before school !

popcornwizard · 31/01/2019 10:20

Haha, yes. My 11 year old is banned from 'electronics' before school this week for not being ready one morning last week. Gets up in plenty of time, never knows wtf is gong on - his older brother did a magic change and became beautifully organised in year 7.

11 is going to trawl through lost property for his pe shirt today, and there's something that looks like homework in the dog bed. Looks like no electronics before school next week too.

twoshedsjackson · 31/01/2019 10:20

If you are on good terms with his form teacher, would it be feasible to make it clear that you would back them to the hilt if they gave him a hard time when he rocked up late? Persistent lateness can become an issue, even at Junior stage, but at the moment you are the one busting a gut to get him there on time. Then be unemotionally unsympathetic when consequences kick in: "I'm not surprised Sir/Miss told you off; it must be a real nuisance having someone turn up after the work has been explained/have to make arrangements for the nitwit with no PE kit. I think we'd better make sure everything is ready for school before the screens go on."

blackteasplease · 31/01/2019 10:21

My ds aged 4 does stuff like this. Doesnt have a nintrndo but but the rest os the same. Something genuinely unavoidable happens but then he does everything in slow motion as no sense of urgency. Will go back and play or out the tv on or something too.

But I guess you can expect all 11 yo to have a better sense of urgency!

LadyBunker · 31/01/2019 10:21

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

blackteasplease · 31/01/2019 10:21

Dd 10 is really good but loses out because of her brother!

Original poster
pepperjack · 31/01/2019 10:26

I can't do this anymore. I honestly feel like I'm going to combust.
The ironic thing is that last night I told him we're having new rules, no screens in the morning and everything off at 8pm
I honestly don't know what happened. He was ready to go out the door, then the games kit debacle and I turn around and he's got 2 screens on the go!

OP posts:
blackteasplease · 31/01/2019 10:28

Then I switched off the tv and internet at the plug this morning so this couldn't happen. Came back from school run, tried to work from home, and couldn't work out why I couldn't get into work system. Because the internet was odd! DOH!

shpoot · 31/01/2019 10:29

If it's affecting you this much it's got to stop. He can't have the screens on if they aren't there. Lock them away until you are happy that he's ready for school and then he can have them

diddl · 31/01/2019 10:32

Shouldn't screens/devices just be a no in the morning anyway?

Idk-mine always liked to sleep until the last minute, so school bags ready the night before, clothes out.

Up half an hour before needing to leave, breakfast, quick wash, get dressed.

I did snacks whilst they washed & dressed.

Original poster
pepperjack · 31/01/2019 10:33

Well they're hidden now

OP posts:
Blinkingblimey · 31/01/2019 10:37

Lock the screens away for a while - do it now if you’re at home. We have a no screen during the week rule during term time. The only time this is relaxed is on Thursdays when no one has any after school sport BUT everyone’s homework must be completed (to a good standard - you must check!!) beforehand..... sometimes that means no one gets to watch but that’s the way it works.

steppemum · 31/01/2019 10:37

mine are 16, 13 and 11 and we have had MANY similar mornings.
I totally get it that the ipad was th elast straw, mine is when I am standing at the open front door waiting for them to get shoes on and out and one of them is scrolling down their phone. They have to leave on time, they have a train to catch!

But, (maybe because we have an early start) right from the beginning of secondary, (actually we did this in primary too) mine have to

  1. have all uniform out the night before. If they tell me then that they can't find something, I will look for it, wash it, etc etc. If they tell me in the morning, I shrug my shoulders, and tell them it is not my problem.
This is HARD your natural instinct is to help, but after once or twice going in in yesterday's shirt/pe kit, they know I mean it, and do check.
  1. bags packed night before with everything they need. Get into this habit now, as there is so much to manage in secodnary. (and you get the added - Oh no it is cooking tomorrow....)
  1. no screens in the morning. No ipad, no Nintendo, nothing. It has changed sligtly as they are teens with phones, but our phones are allplugged in charging downstairs, and they can only pick them up when they come down for breakfast fully dressed, and ready to go (apart from food)
  1. I do a countdown. You have 10 minutes, you have 5 minutes, time to go get in the car. I shouldn't have to with a 16 year old, but that is for MY sanity, as if I don't he would oversleep every single day.
  1. I never take late thigns up to school. At primary I would have taken a packed lunch (my fault) or a swimming kit, as they are younger, and it is a joint effort, but not normal pe kit, or homework etc. That is part of their packing their bag the night before.

It is OK to be firmer, it is OK to let them take school consequences, it is OK if they have to wear the rubbish spare kit at school. Sometimes they need to do that in order to learn

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