Completely lost my shit this morning

[pepperjack]

Just going out the door to defrost the car and Ds tells me it's games kit today. He's suitably apologetic.
One games kit is in the wash, wet, the other one who knows.
Finally find it in the car.
Telling him to hurry up, get his trainers, on, teeth brushed.
Get back in, he's on the toilet.
Back out with the dog, turn car around,
Get back in, he is sitting in the couch on Nintendo and watching the iPad.
Wtf.
I'm banning all screens in the house
I've told him it's for my sanity, he thinks I hate him

ah we've all been there.

no screens here until everything organised and put in the car ready to go

dd3 has this down to a fine art and does everything the night before then vegetates on youtube in the morning

Mine are 5 and 7. Eldest and i are Autistic so we embrace routine.

We have a wall planner by the door of what is happening each day and what they need to take. They now check it themselves although i do a quick double check as they are still young.

We also have a serious of alarms going off on my phone with labels -
7.30 - get up, have breakfast
8 - get dressed and brush teeth/wash face.
8.35 - put shoes/coat on and leave.

Works really well as they know they know they can play after they are ready until 8.35.

AutumnCrow your post made me smile because it's soo relatable

We are no screens at all in the morning here (3DC 12, 10, 8) due to several similar situations. They would swear blind they were ready to walk out the door, sit down on a screen, then magically remember all sorts just as I announced it was time to leave. No more! The blanket morning ban has worked brilliantly.

When our kids were at school ( and even now years after they hsve left) we never have the tv on in the morning ( or screens) it's just too much of a distraction.
I'm not saying things wirked smoothly every single school day but when they git home frim school there was a routine (get changed, hang uniform up, ,homework ,tea ) and one thing we did was to talk through everything that was going to happen the next day. When they were quite young there was a lot if detail but once at secondary school we would just chat over the meal about our day and what was going on the next day. It helped to reduce any sudden surprises!!

Hugglesnuggle, why can't he do his own ironing?

And what would happen if he wore unironed clothes?

yes we have a tablets only at the end of the day rule - good routines are so important for them to get into and to fall back on. With my DC anytime I relax the rules we end up in exactly the kind of situation you describe, they are addictive and the loading up of one video/episode after another encourages the addiction.

If he's at high school (or 13 and above) then he's old enough to remember his own kit or suffer the consequences. Once at high school my DM could not give a stuff (rightly or wrongly, probably wrongly if I'm honest) what day sports was on and where my kit was. I had it, I washed it, I forgot it, I suffered the consequences. The benign neglect did make me very self-sufficient.

As for the tech/nintendo, I would just hide that away (or the controllers if it's easier). Usually after bed, so it wasn't lying around ready to hop on whenever he fancies. I would actually do that from today onwards TBH. If he can't self-regulate, then just remove it. Ideally, tell him he can have it on weekends and don't let him have it Mon-Thurs. It's better for his school work and learning anyway.

And what would happen if he wore unironed clothes?
There would be no way on earth we would have allowed our lads to have gone out looking unkempt!! Sure not everything needs ironing but if something obviously dies there's no way the boys would go out looking like tramps.
Thankfully now the youngest us in his late teens and the other slightly older they do the majority of their own ironing!
Why would you let your kid go out looking scruffy.

Not sure if you’d find this a help but Nintendo switch has something called ‘parental controls’ where you can set a limit on how much your child uses the switch - for how long, on which days etc - may be a help going forward. I think it’s a phone app!

Babygrey7

He actually normally DOES do his own ironing, but when he said they needed ironing, I knew if he ironed he wouldn’t be able to look for his gloves and hat, and be able to leave on time. So thinking I’d do the ironing, and he could hunt through his room as he’d have a better idea where they were, we’d save time. Obviously that didn’t go to plan!

As for ironing- I always have ironed the kids uniform 🤷🏻‍♀️when I was teaching, I could stand in front of the class and tell who had ironed uniform and who did not- it looks so scruffy. The same you’d see them walking into assembly and seeing creased shirts, skirts and trousers, they really stand out in amongst ironed uniform.

I think it steamed from my very first teaching practice. Sitting in the staff room, teacher walks in and says ‘OMG have you seen X, they’ve come in with ironed unifom’ So I asked what they meant. Another teacher said ‘X’s uniform is always really creased, you know when she’s stayed with her grandparents as it comes in ironed’. So maybe that has always subconsciously stayed in my mind, and why I notice uniform so much!

Plus now he has skinny chinos which get very creased in the tumble dryer. No way could he wear them without an iron!

Not sure why we're all surprised that these kids are lazy/entitled /spoilt : we're enabling them to be! What more do you expect?

I'm pretty shocked by this thread actually. When I was at secondary school (early 90's) my parents left for work before I got up. I set an alarm, got dressed, collected any kit I needed, locked up the house and went to school. I was never late once in 7 years. if I was the school and my parents would have come down on me like a ton of bricks!

My DDs will be expected to do the same when they start secondary school as DH and I will be on the train to work.

What on earth is all this mollycoddling? We aren't talking about young children here.

Actually apart from towels, bedding and tea towels, we iron all clothes. Always have done. Even if it’s t-shirts going under a jumper. I’d feel weird going out wearing clothes that were not ironed. Likewise both my boys iron all their clothes (14&18) before wearing them, as they wouldn’t want to look scruffy.

Don’t everyone iron their clothes?

Oh I feel your pain OP. I don't think it's necessarily such a bad thing. He might improve even if only for a few days. There was one time I ended up leaving without one of mine (she was 16 by then) and she had to get her bike out, pump up the tyres and CYCLE to the station to catch a train and then WALK in to college 😂. Oh the outrage that I had finally followed through! She made sure she was ready on time after that. Don't feel bad.

my 8 year old remembers her own kit and homework etc - if she doesn't, i don't, it didn't start out as a deliberate strategy but she stepped up as I was forgetting with trying to get the 3 of us and the dog out of the door with all of the right things in the morning.

Don’t everyone iron their clothes?

You've just posted about all the dreadful scruffy children at the school you taught at so you know that no everybody does.

Total screen ban in our house for DS's 13 & 15 phones are not handed over until they are on their way out the door. Had to many morning's like the one you have described so put a total stop to it. The house is now alot less stressful in a morning.

Bags to be done the night before. If he doesn't then you do not get involved in the mad hunt for pe kit/spanish book/ whatever the next morning. Let him find it or go and face the music.

Much healthier than getting into a rescue/punishment cycle.

Sorry op but this has made me smile - I have a 10yo boy. He's quite 'laid back' too

How are you feeling now?

Mines not allowed in any games consoles in the morning, I haven't got a solution for you but you're not alone.

I just keep encouraging mine to be responsible, my current tactic is pocket money for doing stuff he supposed to.

I used to get really frustrated with DH about this - 9yo DSS would get home from school and kick off his shoes in random places around the house despite being asked to put them away - cue next day just about to leave and "I caaan't find my shoooooes" and DH running round the house looking for them whilst DSS sat on the sofa playing the ipad! As a step parent I was loathe to stick my nose in but it wasn't fair on DSD who was always ready to leave on time and it wound me up so much I told DH ffs stop enabling DSS, ban morning screens until he's fully ready to leave and make him look for his shoes himself! Didn't take long for DSS to be ready on time and keep his shoes in his room.

RiddleyW

Sorry I wasn’t clear, I meant clothes other than uniform- parents and kids clothes that you were outside of school, weekends, oh and parents work clothes etc.

Because I’ve never noticed anyone I’ve ever worked with in creased clothing. Would people not do uniform but do the rest? Or would they not iron anything? Which i’ll be honest I find strange because it doesn’t matter if I dry my clothes on the line, the radiator, the clothes horse or tumble dryer- it always needs ironing, because it looks creased. Unless I’m doing something really wrong? I get it out when the machine finishes, I give it a good shake. When the tumble dryer finishes I empty it immediately most of the time (except for nights like last night where I fell asleep, so it was really creased this morning!) so I don’t know how else to get it looking like I don’t need to iron? Tell me the secret someone!!!

Sounds like my house in the morning. Eldest is autistic, and needs a list to get ready. Yesterday morning when he should've been in the shower and almost out (and this is timed so I can jump in after him) I found him on his bed reading The Guinness Book of World Records (2015).

He drives me mad, I have to remind myself not to go too apoplectic at him at times.

Lots of ideas here thanks
I know it's not just my household!

I wasn't ranting and raving with him, but I did shout and I did swear at some stupid drivers which he would have found shocking.
Still very wound up, but that's really at my builders now, might take it out on them, haven't been seen since Friday.
They're having a treat day in school so he'll have forgotten about it no doubt

We only have one bathroom and I ended up having to take betablockers because my daughter would go into the bathroom and stay there until she needed to go to school. Five minutes later I would have to leave the house, too, and I'd drive to work feeling like my heart was being squeezed tightly.