Dh is a hypercondriact

[hesalwaysill]

Regular user. Changed username

And I don't think I can cope anymore.

He's mid 30's. He does have arthritis all over his body which is pretty shit for his age. He's on strong medication for that but it makes him sick.

He works hard. Very hard manual job and works all the hours. He's not lazy at work. At home it's the opposite but I know he's tired. Though we have 3dcs and 1 is 5 months old. I'm tired too.

Anyway over the last week he's complained about everything.

Thinks he has a stomach ulcer.
Thinks he has ibs
Thinks he has kidney stones
Thinks he has a kidney infection
Has really really really really really bad heartburn
Thinks he's pulled a muscle in his back
Has hurt the back of his leg and can barely walk
Thinks he's getting a stomach bug
Has shooting pains in his chest

That's probably not all of it. His arthritis does play a big part of his health but he also....doesn't have any of the following things and it's just in his head.

I need to say something to him now I feel as this past week has been awful. I've stopped speaking to him when he's complaining as I've ran out of things to say.

It's mentally draining

Honestly I really feel for you op. It's sounds like you have compassion fatigue.

Even if your dh symptoms were all really, it's very hard to be upbeat, sympathetic all the time when you are tired and worn down yourself.

hesalwaysill

I can see what your saying but in this case, the mri was nothing to do with arthritis. It was due to something else entirely which he had already had an operation for a few years previous. He was told the same thing could happen again

My MRI had nothing to do with the arthritis either. My MRI was to do with prolapsed discs and compressed nerves. That’s what I’m saying, my MRI said no difference, so my orthopaedic consultant said there should not be any pain- no mention of osteoarthritis. It was my rheumatologist that said it was the arthritis causing the pain.

So in my case my MRI said there not be pain. However the pain was very real and still is very severe.

OP, your DH may have legitimate reasons for his pain or he may not. If it's all in his head, it's still real to him. But regardless of whether or not it is real he needs to speak with a counsellor to help him mentally deal with whatever is (or isn't), happening to him. It's unfair to burden you like he is and it wears you down to the point that you really wont care - I've been there and know what you're going through.
People can call me a bitch, but if you have someone constantly complain it does your head in - even if the complaints are legitimate. Also, after a barrage of complaints (as with anything), i think you get desensitised, and will not take serious things as seriously as you should.
You're not a doctor or mental health professional, so offer support in helping him access those services but tell him you simply can't keep hearing about the problems - for your sake and his.