To not let her daughter sleep over?

[Angelwings111]

One of dd’s friends from school is supposed to be sleeping over at my house for 2 days next week while her mum has an operation. This is not a problem as she is a lovely little girl and I get on well with her mum.
The problem is we have a dog who usually sleeps in with dd(9). Now as we have always had dogs I think nothing of this BUT totally understand that other parents won’t be keen so when my friend mentioned she didn’t want her dd sharing a room with the dog I was fine with that.
However as our house is a barn conversion there is no way we can shut the dog downstairs as it is totally open planned so no shut off rooms at all. DH and I can’t have the dog in with us as we have a 5 week old baby and dd2 can’t have him because she fidgets really badly and can’t sleep with the dog in there because he keeps her awake, so I gave my friend a few choices but nothing is god enough for her.
I told her that her dd could have the top bunk in dd’s room (no way the dog can get up there) and my dd would sleep on the sofa that pulls out at the bottom - she said no because she doesn’t want the dog in the same room at all.
I said her dd could have my dd2’s room and be shut in - she doesn’t think her dd would be comfortable sleeping alone in a house she doesn’t know by herself.
So now I’m trying to persuade dd2 to either come in with me and dh or in with dd1 and friends dd just so the dog can be shut in her room away from everyone. I know it’s only for 2 nights but dd2’s really not keen on moving rooms and I feel bad telling her she has to (she has autism and change really doesn’t go down well with her).
I’m thinking of just telling my friend that I can’t have her dd staying here but feel bad as she has no one else to help her but I don’t know what else to do?
Someone help me out please.

I would crate the dog at night time every night, 9 is way too young to be left unsupervised with a dog of any nature. Especially as the house is open plan. Plus all those germs in the bed, the 9 yr old must smell of dog too.

This whole situation is ridiculous - why are you pandering to this woman so much?!

If someone wants to stay here, they take the house "as is". No way would I be crating my dog when he's not used to it just to please someone who's essentially using me for free childcare!

I appreciate she needs help but she can't demand you change your whole situation for her. Either she lets her DD sleep in the top bunk, or she finds somewhere else for her to go.

You’ve offered solutions, she’s turned them down. I’d just say, “oh dear, I can’t see a way around it then”. For all the posters going on about you shouldn’t have a dog sleeping in a child’s room, rubbish. I’ve got dogs. They don’t come upstairs. That’s MY house. Other people have their dogs upstairs. It’s THEIR house. Up to them. Your house. If people don’t like it, then your friend needs to find someone else to help her out.

She accepts how you do things or she finds an alternative. Don't pander to her.

She doesn't want ss involved so she accepts your compromise.
I'd get a refund on the crate.

Now suggested op leaves her own home!!
Get real!!

I cannot believe you are crating your dog rather than telling this woman she cannot dictate to you how you run your own home!

Will people fuck off with telling the OP how to train her dog?

It is not relevant to the question.

Oh gosh. I wouldn't crate a dog who wasn't used to it and happy with it, that's not fair on the dog, and you're ruining your own sleep for two nights.

You've offered two perfectly good solutions, top bunk or own room - I'm afraid if it were me I'd find a way of saying take it or leave it, the dog is a fixture off this house.

OP, I think she is asking too much. I am a total dog hater and I would be happy with your solution of the visitor in the top bunk... most children like dogs anyway.

Poor dog. I’m surprised you didn’t go with the consensus. You’ve offered solutions but if none of them suit her considering you’re doing her a favour maybe she find somewhere else.

Frankly it’s just odd.

I agree with Chakira.

I think everyone is in for a miserable night.

I'd say to this woman that these are the options, take one or let's leave it.

Just tell I am really sorry our arrangements don't suit you - I assume you have another friend you'll be asking instead.

You're an amazing person to even contemplate this with a 5 week old baby.

Some people are just utter piss takers and your friend sounds like one of them. Make sure she returns the favour when she's better.

I haven't read the whole thread but I would tell your friend she needs to find somewhere else for her DD to stay. Tell her that her demands do not work for your family.

I wouldn't be putting my dog in a crate or another room for the sake of a couple of nights of helping someone out that clearly is not grateful and wants to organise your life and home to suit herself.

It is the dog's home and the child needs to go somewhere else.

I really don't think you should have gone to so much trouble and the exoense of buying a cartel. You're friend knows your sleep set up and shouldn't have expected you to change that to suit her dd. While I wouldnt want my son sleeping in a room with a dog, as he is allergic, I simply wouldn't ask anyone to take him if that was their set up. What's the bets the cage won't suit her either. You have now put yourselves in a situation where the entire family could be woken by the dog during her stay instead of saying no to your friend.

I too would have said no to the kid staying.
Don't be dictated to in your own home.

I'm surprised at how harsh are being about the other mother. She has mental health issues, is going in for an operation, her daughter isn't used to sleeping with a dog in the room, and most of you are calling her a CF

She is a CF because she's expecting the OP who has a 5 week old baby for the love of fuck, to rearrange her entire household because her daughter can't sleep on the top bunk. Doesn't matter if she's got MH issues, MH issues don't exempt you from being a twat.

So she should find alternative arrangements. It's possibly the most simple of solutions but NOBODY on mumsnet seems to have any kind of chutzpah to tell a CF straight. Everyone seems to bend over backwards to accommodate such ridiculous requests and wonder why they get taken for a ride.

Total CF. Tell her to make other arrangements

The op has a newborn, an autistic daughter as well as a second daughter and a dog. She’s already offered more than most in her position would. As sad as the other mother’s position is it really isn’t the OP’s situation to solve. She has been more than accommodating.

I would say that if the options you’ve made available are not acceptable then she should make alternative arrangements with social services if necessary. She should not expect to upheave an entire family when presumably the dog has been there all along and is not a new addition to the family.

Bit shocked that people are upset at the idea of the dog being crated but fine with the 9 year old daughter staying in a foster home with strangers for 2 nights

OP I asked further up - surely there are other parents at the school who would step up. She may not have family nearby but are you seriously her only friend?