YABVU!
"The trouble is; she is very pessimistic about everything and the way she speaks it's like the whole thing - having a child - is a lost cause and there's nothing to be done." Given you don't KNOW what the results of any tests they had done WERE you can't say she's wrong for thinking/feeling that way.
You DON'T know what it's like to struggle to conceive or have losses (which from your description she may have had and not told you) or be told she can't have because there are huge risks to her health.
"I reassured her that there are always options" that's not true though! There aren't for many couples. Ivf etc actually has quite low success rates, not everyone is eligible for or WANTS to adopt or use surrogacy.
She's not "bitter" what a vile thing to say! She's bereft! Heartbroken! She's grieving the children and life she's UNABLE to have.
Meanwhile you're bitching about her without acknowledging how INCREDIBLY hard it must be for her to be around you pregnant and your family!
"The opening post reminds me of those threads where slim person persists in giving overweight friend unsolicited diet tips" yep!
"For those of you asking what the op should have replied to the text how about something like 'still waiting' or 'wish baby would hurry up' or 'nothing happening yet'.
I.e not complaining about something the friend is desperate to experience." Totally agree!
I lost 3 before having dd and then almost died having her which revealed a condition that meant having another would literally have been a life or death decision for both me and baby. The shite comments I've had over the years about how SELFISH I am for only having the one! 😡
I have friends who've been through huge struggles ttc and not all have a child to show for it. Fertility treatment really isn't that effective.
I would NEVER offer unsolicited advice (getting pregnant was easy for me it was staying pregnant that was difficult - inc with dd I needed a lot of help with that) but have listened, sympathised and supported where possible.
A work colleague of mine who was pregnant soon after my last mc and who I wasn't even especially close to, but who was pregnant via ivf herself after years of trying was kind enough to take me to one side to tell me of her pregnancy before telling others and at the end of the working day so I could take it in and not be embarrassed by possibly getting upset in front of others. I was so grateful, I held it together while she told me, congratulated her, then went home & cried my heart out. But that meant when she made the "public" announcement the next day I was able to be calm and not make a fool of myself.
I even have one friend who is - on the surface/officially - child free by choice, I know her and the truth is she had a deeply dysfunctional childhood and was scared she'd be a bad mum (she wouldn't have been but that's not for me to say unsolicited nor my decision to make). She then got cancer which needed a hysterectomy and that was heartbreaking for her. Because it was no longer her choice. Plus all the medical & hormonal turmoil.
If you don't know the details you cannot and should not comment.