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AIBU?

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Original poster

Newborn and custard

409 replies

MrsXx4 · 29/01/2019 20:52

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

OP posts:
Babdoc · 30/01/2019 15:03

I weaned my children at 8 weeks and 9 weeks, nearly 30 years ago. Neither of them has any allergies, food issues or weight problem. Current research suggests that allergies are more likely if you delay weaning - because the baby will then probably encounter the allergen via its skin, before its gut. The gut immune system can identify it as a harmless food, whereas the skin is more likely to decide it’s a potential allergen.
This risk is even higher for babies with broken skin, eg eczema sufferers. So much so, that mums of such babies are actively encouraged to offer small tastes of foods from 3 or 4 months, to try and prime the gut during the limited “window” of opportunity. By 6 months, it’s often too late.
With regard to the OP - no of course a tiny lick of custard from dad’s finger isn’t going to kill the baby! And it will be sucking far worse things off its own fingers.

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2019 15:06

“So much so, that mums of such babies are actively encouraged to offer small tastes of foods from 3 or 4 months”

Do you have a source for this?

cathf · 30/01/2019 15:08

Mine were weaned at 8 weeks (26 years ago), six months (15 years ago) and seven months (12 years ago).
So I am no advocate of early weaning.
However, what I am a fan of is common sense, which is very much lacking by a lot on this thread.
Rather like those folk who think something goes off at midnight when a BBD is breached, people just don't seem to be able to grasp the concept of guidelines rather than absolute rules.

MimiSunshine · 30/01/2019 15:32

@Babdoc what are you on? That is not remotely true
Guidelines here for your education www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/solid-foods-weaning/

Bluelady · 30/01/2019 15:41

You do know Babdoc's a doctor?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 30/01/2019 15:42

My ex mil's ndn had her ds 2 months premature back in the day, mw suggested they bottle fed him carnation milk until her reached a decent weight!
He ended up 6'6 and built like an outside lavvy!!

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/01/2019 15:44

No one knows that Babdoc is anything... and even so, doctors are perfectly capable of having an opinion that doesn't agree with official guidelines.

Inliverpool1 · 30/01/2019 15:45

Carnation milk was the thing back in the day, my brothers had their dummies dipped in it from day one. Both alive and well

HavelockVetinari · 30/01/2019 15:51

@Babdoc is a fool. Just because your DC survived doesn't mean it's ok - lots of people in the past engaged in risky behaviour due to not knowing any better like not using car seats, baby sleeping face-down etc. and their babies survived but the point is that lots of babies didn't survive. That's why we use peer-reviewed scientific studies to help us work out what's safest. And weaning at 5 weeks old is fucking stupid!

kaytee87 · 30/01/2019 15:52

No one knows that Babdoc is anything... and even so, doctors are perfectly capable of having an opinion that doesn't agree with official guidelines.

Exactly. I had a doctor tell me to give my son honey because he was crying a lot as a small baby 🙈 apart from the fact he wasn't weaned yet, honey isn't recommended to under 1s due to the risk of infant botulism.
Personally I take GPs suggestions as advice and do my own research too.

BertrandRussell · 30/01/2019 16:02

Most babies who were put to sleep on their fronts were fine too. So were most babies who travelled in cars without car seats. We all know plenty of smokers who didn’t get lung cancer. That’s why anecdote is not data.

SomethingWithLemons · 30/01/2019 16:09

Your husband is stupid. There was a case a few years ago where a baby was fed cereal during weaning and died due to it containing salt. Good that you caught him before he started feeding other stupid thubgs. It'm sure he'll be fine with just a tiny bit. Frustrating though.

darceybussell · 30/01/2019 16:09

I don't think anyone was suggesting that the OP weaned her baby at 5 weeks (including OP's DH!), or even suggested that she weaned the baby early! Everyone just suggested that it was a bit OTT to go mad because the baby licked some custard off dad's finger!

SomethingWithLemons · 30/01/2019 16:13

Babdoc I hope you've contacted the WHO and let them know they've got it wrong. I'm sure they will be interested in your results and your obviously statically valid sample size of three - ffs

garethsouthgatesmrs · 30/01/2019 16:18

Exactly! How many threads do you see on here where new mums moan about how their parents/inlaws behave?! Do these people really think they won't be subject to the same moans when they're grandparents?

when/if I am a grandparent I will follow up to date guidelines even if they have changed because i will know that the research is more up to date. I wont stubbornly stick to what I did even in the face of new research that suggests there is a healthier way. It's so stupid to use the "well i survived" argument.We are not suggesting that weaning early will kill a baby (unless you wean ridiculously early or feed them far too much salt etc ) just that it's better/healthier to wait as current guidelines suggest.

ReaganSomerset · 30/01/2019 16:19

I think PP was right when they said the custard was possibly an attempt by baby's dad to keep baby happy with him for longer.

OP, if you're still reading the thread, reassure your DH that baby will be happier in his company in time and not too take LO's preference for you personally at this point - it's biological. Forcing the issue will help no one, he just needs to be there and be patient. And stop treating the baby like a toy he can snatch off you when he wants to

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/01/2019 16:20

It's evidence that he's not making rational sensible decisions about a tiny baby. I'd be worried about that, and possibly angry if he didn't show any signs of being bothered. It's not an over the top reaction.

CecilyP · 30/01/2019 16:21

^My ex mil's ndn had her ds 2 months premature back in the day, mw suggested they bottle fed him carnation milk until her reached a decent weight!
He ended up 6'6 and built like an outside lavvy!!^

Back in the day, diluted (1 part carnation 2 parts water) Carnation milk was considered a suitable and convenient baby milk. There were even infant feeding instuctions printed on the labels. It was an acceptable alternative to the powdered baby milks available at the time which were not quite the same as modern formula. What it wasn't was solids!

Bluelady · 30/01/2019 16:25

Is custard solid? The last I had was a liquid.

BertieBotts · 30/01/2019 16:31

It's solid in terms of feeding a baby as it's not milk, medicine, water, juice or tea.

It would be a liquid if you were going through airport security. Good to note.

AwakeAfterMidnight · 30/01/2019 16:33

Bluelady - it’s both...

m.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=fG4npVNQ9Sg

Jimjamjong · 30/01/2019 16:35

@ cathf it is widely known that young babies should only get breastmilk or formula. The biggest danger to babies in food are bacterias that indeed can cause their death (similar to a bottle a formula that would not have been prepared at the right temperature). It is not strictly forbidden to badly prepare a bottle of formula, however most people would avoid to do it, just common sense?

Bluelady · 30/01/2019 16:35

Babies drink juice and tea now? This thread is getting ridiculous.

EwItsAHooman · 30/01/2019 16:38

Details here about introducing allergens before six months of age:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.newscientist.com/article/dn28366-should-babies-be-given-solids-earlier-to-prevent-food-allergies/amp/

Information about the EAT study:

www.food.gov.uk/research/food-allergy-and-intolerance-research/eat-study-early-introduction-of-allergenic-foods-to-induce-tolerance

There are instances where early weaning is indicated for children with reflux, CMPA, feeding or development complications, and other medical conditions or allergies. DS was started on solids at 14wks on medical advice, he has developmental delay and doesn't know when he is full so milk alone didn't make him feel full and he would get distressed to the point of throwing up what he had drank and then he'd be more distressed and it was a big unhappy cycle. Solids were introduced to try give him that dense, full feeling. For some children doctors do actively encourage early weaning and it's very blinkered to say they don't when you obviously have no understanding of those situations where they do.

As with all baby advice, the weaning guidelines are a guideline. They are not one size fits all and all babies are individuals who have individual needs that are not necessarily best met by sticking religiously to an advisory standard.

Except the dad wasn't weaning or introducing solids, he gave the baby a suck of a tiny bit of custard not a three course meal.

ReaganSomerset · 30/01/2019 16:38

Is custard solid? The last I had was a liquid.

It's a non-Newtonian fluid. John Tickle (or anyone else really) can walk on it.

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