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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for a handhold? (May be triggering - mention of stillbirth and miscarriage).

62 replies

PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 11:20

I'm worried and desperately need a hand hold Sad

Currently pregnant with 3rd DC.

Our first baby was stillborn in May 2017, which was obviously devastating but that's a whole other thread...
DC2 was born in July 2018 (happy & healthy) and I am now approximately 10 weeks pregnant with DC3.

I've already had an early scan due to some bleeding at around 7 weeks. The sonographer said the baby looked ok, heartbeat present and that there was an area of bleeding above the baby and she thought this may be due to implantation. I asked if it was likely for me to get more bleeding and she said she couldn't really say either way.

Fast forward a little and me and DH had sex (now about 2 weeks ago) and I bled quite a bit afterwards. Difficult to quantify as I bled over night and it was dried by the morning but it continued for a while. It seemed to slow and I was just getting the brown old blood in stringy type discharge.

Now over the weekend just gone I have started bleeding again. I lost a fair amount of watery type brown blood which I wasn't too concerned about but I'm now having red watery stuff when I wipe and this morning really stringy stuff that looks like snot and blood (grim).

I'm booked in at the EPU on Thursday for a scan but I'm absolutely dreading it and so scared it's going to be bad news. Having lost a baby at 38 weeks, I don't know that I can go through another loss, although I know that's the risk you take.

I'm worried beyond belief but trying not to let it get on top of me.

Does anyone have any positive stories similar to this with a good outcome?

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
teawamutu · 29/01/2019 11:24

I've been pg four times - 2 mcs, 2 living dcs. I bled every single time, and the worst was with ds2. Clots, strings, bright red, the works.

The heartbeat is SO important and is a great sign. Hang on there and have a handholdFlowers

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 11:29

Thank you Tea trying not to just sit crying in a heap Sad

I am sorry for your losses also Flowers life can be so cruel sometimes.

OP posts:
Megan2018 · 29/01/2019 11:30

No words of wisdom, but can offer a handhold. Currently 7+2 with first pregnancy (nearly 41) and feeling the terror!

There is nothing to do but wait for the scan - bleeding can be totally normal, or not. I have had no bleeding but am virtually symptom free and not convinced there is anything there still. The feeling of hopelessness is so strong.

teawamutu · 29/01/2019 11:32

It's awful and the wait is agonising, I know. Take it easy - fingers crossed for you.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 11:34

I haven't had much in the way of symptoms with this pregnancy either Megan
With DC1+2 I was throwing up at all hours and felt terrible but this one, nothing. That makes me worry too. I just keep thinking I had no symptoms and baby was in there and happy a few weeks ago and all pregnancies are different.

Congratulations on your pregnancy Flowers I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 29/01/2019 11:35

I would try not to worry. The fact it was triggered by sex very much points to it being from your cervix and not your uterus. I've had heavy bleeding in both of my healthy pregnancies (actually, it was my mc where I didn't bleed nearly as much and ended up needing a d&c even after waiting 6 weeks for a natural mc). With my most recent pregnancy, I had 2 weeks of heavy period like bleeding, like to the point of bleeding through clothes. It's just one of those things. There was no obvious cause other than cervical erosion, which I know I have and caused bleeding in my first pregnancy too. All fine though and the bleeding stopped totally around 10 weeks and I had no other issues. Both otherwise uncomplicated pregnancies and births. So hope all is just as positive for you.

Honestly though, because I knew sex triggered the bleeding, we just abstained. I couldn't deal with the stress and it was fine. We picked up where we left off after they were born!

VimFuego101 · 29/01/2019 11:37

I had this too, also triggered by sex. I continued to get spates of bleeding throughout the pregnancy but DS was fine. They thought I might have an irritable cervix.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 11:38

Yes I think I will probably end up abstaining from sex now for the foreseeable future. I never had a problem with any bleeding previously so this is a bit new and scary.

I just keep trying to think that it was the sex that has caused it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 11:40

And I'm sorry for your loss mind Flowers xx

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 29/01/2019 12:07

Posting mainly to hand hold Penguin. I'm 5 weeks pg, had 3 mcs last year and desperately hoping for the best this time too. The waiting is awful when you are worried something is going wrong.

I know a few people (myself included) who've had similar patterns of bleeding etc to you. Some sad outcomes but lots of happy ones too. Stay positive x

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 12:10

Thank you @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Every time I go to the bathroom it makes me more worried Sad just hoping everything is ok in there.

OP posts:
LuvSmallDogs · 29/01/2019 12:23

I’ve had four pregnancies, 3 live births and one MC. I bled in two of my viable pregnancies, I remember it being really scary with DS1, big clots falling out in the shower etc.

MiceSqueakCatsMeow · 29/01/2019 12:26

It could be cervical erosion. I think this because you had bleeding after sex. I don't think cervical erosion affects the baby.

Hunkyd0ry · 29/01/2019 12:36

I’m going through the same thing. Nearly 6 weeks here and going to go to the drop in EPU clinic Tomorrow. Hope you get good news

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 12:36

Can cervical erosion just happen if you've not had it before? - I presume so but I've not really heard of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 12:37

Oh, the very best of luck @Hunkyd0ry 

That sounds so scary @LuvSmallDogs

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 12:38

& I'm sorry for your losses Thanks

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 29/01/2019 13:03

Big hugs to you too Hunky. crossing everything for everyone.

Hunkyd0ry · 29/01/2019 13:28

Thanks. I think it’s just the helplessness that I struggle with. But at least tomorrow I might have more idea.
Luckily my DD is using her wooden mixer to make me a wooden cake so I am being well catered for.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 29/01/2019 13:38

I struggle with the helplessness too Hunky it's so hard Sad
a wooden cake sounds great, glad you're being taken care of Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 30/01/2019 13:03

Any news @Hunkyd0ry ? X

OP posts:
Hunkyd0ry · 30/01/2019 21:34

Yes and no. There is a sac there, all looks healthy but too early to see a heartbeat. So need to go back in a few weeks.
Thanks for asking. Hope all goes well with you tomorrow.

Original poster
PengThePenguin · 30/01/2019 22:20

Thanks @Hunkyd0ry , I'm not feeling terribly confident about it to be honest. My bleeding worsened yesterday, was bleeding quite heavily with small clots. I didn't really have any pain but of course that doesn't guarantee anything. It has eased off now but still losing blood.
I'm dreading tomorrow, I'm fairly certain it's going to be bad news 😢
Sorry you're still in limbo. Hopefully you'll get a positive outcome next week Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
PengThePenguin · 31/01/2019 13:36

The ultrasound confirmed a miscarriage 😢 feeling pretty heartbroken. Thank you all for your kind well wishes. They meant a lot

OP posts:
ASundayWellSpent · 31/01/2019 13:39

So sorry to read that... sending big hugs please be gentle with yourself at this sad sad time ♥️

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