To find my child's lack of crawling upsetting?

[incywincyspide]

My son is nearly 12 months old and is still commando crawling. He started doing this about 3 months ago and still hasn't started crawling properly.

On Sunday he did start crawling differently but by using one knee and one foot!

I feel like he's falling behind other babies his age and I'm getting worried! Am I being ridiculous? It's my first child so I tend to worry about every little thing.

@LisaSimpsonsbff I had both ends of the spectrum, DS didnt actually walk properly until two and a half and DD walked early, for me both were as worrying as the other but in different ways, one was worrying about how to actually get him moving and the other was worrying how to keep her safe 24/7 when she didnt have the understanding of no, stop, etc but thats just my experience!

I also find it strange that my boy learned how to put things in a basket etc way before learning to clap! Some babies I know where clapping at 5 months old.

He still can't wave but if I ask him where his feet are he points them out!

Mine commando crawls too OP. It is a type of crawling, not necessarily a precursor to typical crawling. I like to consider it as out-of-the-box thinking!

www.care4hygiene.com/blog/types-baby-crawls/

Next time someone asks, just say 'fine thanks'.

See, this is why I hate the NCT. No one will convince me that it’s anything more than an expensive ticket to a “friendship” group that does nothing but encourage pointless comparisons between babies and, like you’re finding OP, thinly veiled bitching and smuggery.

I honestly can’t believe you’re getting texts asking “how’s the crawling?” It’s not because they care, it’s almost mocking you. Fuck that.

My DD also cannot clap but puts her toys in and out of boxes. Your LO is perfectly normal, stop worrying.

@lisasimpsonsbff re rather be inconvenienced than anxious - I hope the op is reasssured that her baby not crawling is developmentally normal. She hasn’t indicated any reason why she’d be additionally anxious. My baby didn’t really crawl either. And he didn’t really get into food until quite recently (he’s a year old now). We were on purées for quite a long time. It didn’t make me anxious, although it did bother me enough to post about it. I kind of decided that I’d not fret and just roll with how he was. That’s quite a different scenario to feeling anxious in pregnancy after 3 miscarriages, or as another poster has described starting to twig that something is developmentally different.

It’s probably the grass is greener, but I sometimes look at my boys happy, chilled out cousin and wish I got one of those babies instead of the perpetual motion ones. But one only wishes for more appealing alternatives. As I seem to transfer most of my anxiety either onto the cat, or formless dread, I allow myself the dream of being a little less inconvenienced! It’s not going to happen but hey ho.

See, this is why I hate the NCT. No one will convince me that it’s anything more than an expensive ticket to a “friendship” group that does nothing but encourage pointless comparisons between babies and, like you’re finding OP, thinly veiled bitching and smuggery

Agree it’s about ‘buying’ friends, which is exactly why I did it! We moved back to the UK from abroad when I was 7 months pregnant, but to an area 250 miles from nearest friends/family.
No bitching or smuggery or comparisons though, in fact after the first few months we barely even talked about babies (and still don’t, 5 years on). We’re just friends who talk about a variety of things.

My son never crawled, he bum shuffled from around 12 months then walked at about 2, I remember him not even sitting up unaided until 10 months& one afternoon we were in a cafe and a little girl of 8 months was running around our table, they progress at vastly different rates, please don't worry and just enjoy this time

I found it better to socialise with mum's of children of different ages.

Oh God, this. I even prefer to avoid online due date clubs. I love the lack of competition you get with mixed age groups, and the chilled perspective you get from the more experienced parents, esp those who have had several kids.

OP, have a read of this: "The Road to Walking"
www.psych.nyu.edu/adolph/publications/AdolphRobinson-inpress-LearningToWalkPreprint.pdf

It's so interesting. Check out pages 6-14 in particular.

This is interesting too. www.scientificamerican.com/article/crawling-may-be-unnecessary/

Baby books in our culture insist that crawling is some kind of pre-ordained developmental "stage," that is natural/universal like the budding of teeth. In fact, crawling appears to be basically a kind of problem-solving activity that a particular baby may display in a particular environment.

Historically, crawling as an important and prolonged stage is probably quite a recent idea, and if you spend any time in a "traditional" environment you will see why--there are few clean and safe floor spaces to facilitate crawling. Instead, babies are carried in arms/slings etc., and are more likely to be put down in places like nets or hammocks. They are encouraged in walking efforts by mums and other carers who are keen to keep them from sprawling all over the ground for obvious reasons, and tend to go straight to walking in most cases. No evidence it does them any harm.

Even in our culture, many babies do not crawl at all, and those who do crawl crawl in many different styles (described in the above essay as "bear" "inchworm" "army" etc.) Some babies bum shuffle, or even spider crawl on their backs or log roll from place to place!

Why do some babies in our culture go straight to walking? Nobody knows why but it is probably an intersection of personality and living environment. Some babies enjoy the interactive element of being "walked" and demand this a lot, leading to earlier walking--other babies like crawling because they can do it all by themselves, and if they like crawling they may walk later. Some floor surfaces make crawling easier, some make walking easier. Having furniture disposed in a way that makes cruising easier may encourage cruising and then walking, rather than crawling. Some babies may prefer to cruise, then walk, because they want to hold on to a favorite toy, or "give" toys to a caregiver.

There is zero evidence that skipping crawling has anything to do with developmental issues.

@incywincyspide - mine learned to clap from music class as an extension of banging his drum, but I can't seem to get him to point at anything. In fact I spent a week trying to teach him to point when he was ill and he learned how to wave instead (we didn't go out, there was nobody to even wave hello nor goodbye to that week).

Op, please don’t worry
None of my children crawled and they didn’t walk until they were 18 and nineteen months respectively.

One of my DC didn't move at all until walked at 16 months.
Babies all develop at different rates and it evens out in due course.
HRFT but if not already suggested maybe ask to discuss with HV?
It is difficult with your first child...

This is a Lot of handwringing over NOTHING. It's really really really ridiculous. I thought this was going to be a thread about a 15 or 18 month old baby with zero mobility not a whinge over a baby not crawling "perfectly enough" for his Mum to be proud of him and show him off like a show dog. Why do you care what some twats from your NCT group think?

Your baby IS crawling! Commando crawling IS crawling. You're basically freaking out just because he doesn't do the kind of cute "proper" crawling like babies in Pamper ads do. Ridiculous. 🙄

Of the many babies I've been around on maternity leave only about 20 to 25% seem to do what most of us consider to be traditional crawling.

Our 9 month old daughter just uses her arms to pull her entire body forward like a caterpillar, that is her crawling technique and she's freaking fast at it. Now she's pulling herself up and I'm guessing she will be walking without ever having used her knees for crawling. 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP Interesting, isn't it? Clearly there's no such thing as "normal" just trends in advice and individuals. There've been competitive parents for all my considerable lifetime and they do make life horrendous for those of us who are first time parents or just naturally worried. On top of which you get prescriptive childcare manuals which vary wildly and all those "Nanny can help your parenting" programmes. Bah, humbug. As PPs have said, ignore the braggers, and grow a thick skin and your self belief before you hit the competitive parents at primary and secondary with grade 8 violin at 10, ability to speak 3 languages fluently at 12, acting agent at 14 ... and don't get me started on university.

@Mmmhmmm you're rather aggressive aren't you!

Mmmhmmm makes a fair point though. Commando crawling is crawling, why do people think it isn’t? There isn’t a particular technique that makes it a ‘proper’ crawl. So your baby is crawling.

I've explained why I have been worried. I've also said that this thread has helped me see that there is no problem and it's just first-time-mum-anxiety.
Which isn't a crime.

This is the whole point of mumsnet isn't it? I asked for help, and people have helped.

No one will convince me that it’s anything more than an expensive ticket to a “friendship” group

This is correct

that does nothing but encourage pointless comparisons between babies and, like you’re finding OP, thinly veiled bitching and smuggery

This isn't necessarily. It's like anything, there are nice people and not so nice people everywhere. My NCT group were wonderfully chilled, not at all smug and very supportive. We had a great time together.

One of them is now one of my closest friends.

Just to prove that googling does not solve this problem: here's one that made me anxious about my seven month old - and it's one of the top results. It includes statements like 'From picking up a favorite toy to scooting or crawling from place to place, your 7-month-old is learning how to control his environment and finding out that being in control can be fun.' (he isn't doing that) and 'Because baby can now sit unassisted and reach for and pick up toys, playtime involves a lot more independence than in months past. The ability to hold and drink from a cup, and possibly eat from a spoon, means that he is also more independent at mealtimes.' - he doesn't sit independently and won't drink from a cup. I know that none of that is abnormal, but I feel the anxiety tighten in my chest when I read that.

www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/baby-development-7-month-old#1

If I'm "aggressive" it's only because I find it sad when instead of being proud of what their child has achieved some parents are more focused on what they haven't achieved yet and what kids of a similar age can do that theirs can't.

Sure at a year old the kid will be none the wiser but in a few years time they will start to pickup on that from their parents and that can be damaging to their still developing self-esteem.

1 crawled, 1 shuffled on bottom and 1 rolled

@Mmmhmmm It's natural worry so please don't berate me for it.

Try not to worry he may altogether skip crawling and go straight into walking! I did when I was a baby!

Oh for goodness sake! Every mum of an under 1 worries about their child's progress. Such drama queens @Mmmhmmm and @MirriVan. Sometimes delays are due to real issues, sometimes there isn't even a delay and usually there's no issue; we haven't all got decades of nannying experience to immediately judge what is or isn't normal. OP only asked a question.