To be sacked due to sick children?

[Spamup]

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

Sorry, that wasn't my intention!

OP you need to get some proper advice. A friend of mine was in this situation as the employer and the employee was protected by equalities legislation (as the vast majority of single parents are women).

Ring ACAS helpline on The Acas helpline number is 0300 123 1100. It is available Monday to Friday 8am-6pm.
Read me first - ACAS Helpline page
Share ALL detail with them.
HR will be asking you to account for the high level of absence, so you need to have your facts to hand to put your case well.
ACAS can talk you through both what is employment law & what is employment best practice. From this you can build your case to present to HR as in “I just a lone parent, exceptional illness recently in family due to x, y & z reasons etc”

Have you union rep to hand?

ACAS online about Parental Leave - but talk to helpline about your case !

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1637

I have previously suggested three or even 4 shorter days but this was rejected as it did noy fit in with the business requirements

And this is ok, but it doesn't change your absences as it's due to your children's illnesses and the fact you can't send them to nursery.
So you'd still be off and no one can be expected to believe your kids are only ever ill on the two days a week you work.

A day nanny is ideal and many people may be willing to do this, for three hundred pounds a week for two days.

The nanny comments on this thread sound unrealistic to me. Where I live the going rate for a nanny is 15 pounds per hour, more for 2 children. There are employers NI etc to pay on top of that. Few nannies want a 2 day a week job.

There are plenty of nannies who want to work part time, what a ludicrous comment, and the op may even find someone whose kids have grown up and she trusts to do the job. And even at fifteen quid an hour that would be ten hours a day. She doesn't need to do national insurance, just like you don't with a child minder, it's up to the nanny to declare her earnings.

That’s. or correct re NI for nannies. Nannies are not self employed and employer is responsible for payroll, tax, pension etc.

No, you're not suspended unless they say so, go to work as usual tomorrow.

*not correct!

I also want to let you know I think you're doing great in a very difficult set of circumstances so please keep your head up.

As others have said - don't resign, don't see this as a personal attack. It's something your company will have to do. But also don't be defensive. You need to show them you're willing to work with them to find a way to do your job. Do you ever offer to work out of hours (night time)??

This isn't your fault. It's just a very shitty set of circumstances.

I have previously suggested three or even 4 shorter days but this was rejected as it did noy fit in with the business requirements

Is this a reasonable response in the context of your business? Could more but shorter days help the business if they were willing to be flexible or is there genuinely a need to stick to fixed shifts?

When you returned from PND did you have an occupational health report describing possible adjustments for your own health situation? Or even a DDA if severe enough?

One other long shot - some insurance policies (household/mortgage type) include legal protection - its worth checking.

Showing willingness to be flexible to minimise impact on the business of your mental health and family situations is in your favour. It may not save your job but can help in a negotiated exit if it comes to it. You should also ask if you are allowed to take a companion to the meeting. They may advise reiterating where you have tried to make changes and mitigate absence costs but get the advice.

Bloody hell I feel sorry for the company!! Why should they have to put uo with this much shit from you before they can start dismissal proceedings. Being in 50% of the time since September 2018 is shocking. They are running a business not a charity, it is not their problem your kids are sick!

That’s tough. As a director of a v small business we would not be able to sustain that level of absence.
I would go in to the meeting with proof you’ve tried to mitigate your circumstances- evidence you’re looking for a nanny - def cheaper than nursery for 2 days. You could even nanny share if possible.
Offer to swap days - I did that when kids were younger and I worked 3 days a week.

Nannies absolutely can be self employed, don't be ridiculous,this is not s full time job,

@bluntness it is not a ludicrous comment it is the reality where I live, and yes I know because I have looked.

I cant understand any of this. You are working 2 days a week and are paying so much much for a nursery, how have you anything left.you have no home, no car, and 2 sick children. How are you managing?

I have been in your situation with a sick child and i know the stress of that. Contact your EAP tomorrow and ask for help. You have to show up for work every day from now on no matter what. Of you cant do that, then you maybe should consider taking a block of parental leave to get yourself sorted.
I am sorry you are under so much stress and want to wish you all the best.

If i could do some of my work from home i would be laughing as i would have my evenings and potentially a few hours every weekend - this wont be practical until our office has gone paperless!

I will go into mt meeting and be honest! No assessment was completed just a general chat between my manager and I!

Did have an occupational health assessment at their request whilst i was off and they confirmed i was not fit to work at that time nor for the foreseeable future.

Some really useful suggestions again, thankyou, i have been noting them down so i have a list to work my way through noe

I think everyone has pointed out that your employer isn’t being unreasonable,

I have nothing to add except my sister suddenly found herself single with 2 kids and no father a year ago. I can hand on heart tell you I really feel for you. Her kids are also always ill. And one child has SN. My sister gets round it by working flexi time constantly, always building up her hours ready for the next illness. They also let her work from home. My mum and I also look after the kids so she can work back the hours. I have often told her that her job flexibility is how she will survive. My job has no such thing and I would be fucked. It is so hard when a child minder and school won’t take them. You literally have no choice if you have no family help. You deserve some bloody and

Is this mumsnet?

Do people really not know that NO childcare will put up with sick children?

If your kids are sick, no one - nannies, childminders, nurseries, will look after them. You cannot expect a childminder to look after a sick child.

What planet are you people on.

This is why lone parents should have the right to benefits all through their children's childhood. Because some kids get sick. A lot.

I'm so sorry OP and I hope you get some useful advice instead of arseholes lecturing you on how hard it is for the company. Yes, it's hard for the company. But the OP is asking for advice for her, not the bloody company. FFS.

You need to think widely. You have to get back up plans for when children are unwell. You are paying sillly money on childcare at the moment.
Look at a childcare student from local college. They often want placements in families with children under three.
Consider a nanny share.
Advertise for a day nanny in the local paper and shops.
Speak to your neighbours. A recently retired surrogate grandma might be willing to provide emergency cover or even do the childcare.
Could children share a room to make space for an au pair?
Could you occasionally use an agency nanny?

Put an advert on childcare.co.uk
I know loads of people that use nannies on a part- time basis.
Hope you find someone!
Nurseries cannot look after ill children because they haven't got the staff to be able to give one to one care. I'm sure a nanny in your own home would look after a sick child, unless they had something extremely contagious.

*If your kids are sick, no one - nannies, childminders, nurseries, will look after them. You cannot expect a childminder to look after a sick child.

What planet are you people on.*

Nannies will. Why wouldn't they? I know a few as I used to be one and I've never heard of any of us turning a sick child away.

Childminders and nurseries usually won't as they have other kids to look after too, which is fair enough.

All my friends have nannies and every single one of them looks after the children when they are sick.
(Not hospital sick, but chickenpox, tonsillitis, stomach bug, antibiotics sick, yes they all do. That is the very reason they all left the crech, nursery because they were stressed, missing work and almost losing their jobs over ill children)

A nanny here costs from €10 per hour , some pay a bit less than that for part time. It is definitely worth looking in to.

Do people really not know that NO childcare will put up with sick children?

You’re wrong @WeWantJustice

Nannies do look after sick children unless they’re in serious danger. It’s one of the massive advantages.