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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sacked due to sick children?

583 replies

Spamup · 28/01/2019 18:56

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

OP posts:
MiniMaxi · 29/01/2019 13:18

Gosh I don't know the legal situ but you have my sympathies. Agree with pp suggestion about getting a nanny - £1300 a month for 2 kids doing 2 days a week is a lot of money!

You'll still end up being off if either of them get hospitalized but hopefully you'll be able to work through the colds, tummy bugs etc.

Good luck with your meeting.

hopeishere · 29/01/2019 13:41

Using a nursery is very hard as they are excluded for every illness plus inflexible about days worked so no chance of making up the hours at another time. A nanny would be a better option if you can afford it.

Charlie97 · 29/01/2019 13:59

How did it go today @Spamup?

Hope it was ok.

Original poster
Spamup · 29/01/2019 14:53

Was like any other day - manager pulled me in the office before i left and i explained i am looking at nannies - he said he is in talks with HR about a settlement offer and he will call me tommorow to further discuss but also wanted to add i am very productive and clear lots of work when i have been in so still dont really feel any further forward - i am off to look at settlement offers and what they mean. Thankyou again and yes i used my phone to access MN earlier.

OP posts:
JustHereForThePooStories · 29/01/2019 14:58

@Spamup Do you know what the basic meaning of a settlement agreement is? You’re aware you will be unemployed and will be required to sign a document confirming that you’ll take no future action against the company?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 29/01/2019 15:01

Talk to ACAS about the settlement offer when you get it to make sure that it's fair, and you'll probably want to ask what you can ask them to do regarding a reference. I think you can ask them to agree a reference with you now, but I don't think you can ask them to lie about the amount of time off. Check that with ACAS!

If they're at the stage, it suggests they're at the end of the line in terms of this job. That might mean you need to sort out your CV etc whilst you're sorting a nanny.

Thanks losing your job is always painful. I hope you don't feel too bad.

Original poster
Spamup · 29/01/2019 15:02

No i just (perhaps wrongly) presumed it would be where they make me an offer so can leave without being fired?

OP posts:
mayflower43 · 29/01/2019 15:09

Have you finished work for the day? I assume so as before 3pm you said "before you left".

JustHereForThePooStories · 29/01/2019 15:09

Does your EAP provide legal advice? Many do.

To be honest, I think an exit agreement is probably a good way to go. That said, your boss may not get support from HR to do so, if they feel that there’s sufficient grounds to dismiss you through a disciplinary process. However, that’s a pretty lengthy process so I’d imagine they’ll be happy to pay you off to get you out.

Ask about tax implications too. I’m not in the UK but, where I live, settlement agreements aren’t taxed the same as normal earnings.

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2019 15:11

Op, I'm sorry. A settlement agreement is termination of employment, they will offer you a sum of money and ask you to sign and waive future claims against them. He should have been clearer they are terminating your employment. Is there something missing from thr convo. You saying you were looking at nannies and him saying they were going for termination is miles apart.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4395

Inliverpool1 · 29/01/2019 15:15

If they are offering a settlement agreement they are concerned you have a case against. Take legal advice

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2019 15:15

It's also known as a compromise agreement. Definitely look online to see what the implications of it are, but I think it basically means you agree to go quietly, usually in exchange for some sort of compensation payment and an agreed reference. In your case, I think you would be asking for the reference to confirm start date, termination date, duties and the fact that you perform these duties to a high standard, but you wouldn't want the reference to refer to your absences. I'm sorry it's come to this

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2019 15:17

Yes, check your household insurance policy in case you have legal expenses protection. It usually covers advice about employment law. Some employers may even pay for you to seek legal advice. This protects both sides. You understand what you're committing yourself to, and the company has confidence that you can't turn round later and say that you didn't understand what you were signing and therefore the agreement should be struck down

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2019 15:18

If they are offering a settlement agreement they are concerned you have a case against. Take legal advice

Or they don't want the hassle, cost and bother of a dispute with an employee, and would prefer to resolve itAs amicably as possible

SewingBeesDontSting · 29/01/2019 15:23

Don't post in AIBU because you'll just get rubbish replies bashing single parents from the ardent Tory types who would do away with all employment protection policies, given half a chance.

Also, in my experience a lot of HR experts are nothing of the sort so get advice from an employment lawyer, if possible. Re-post in Employment and see what they suggest. Do Not hand in your resignation.

Not the same issue at all, but I had 2 shitty female managers and I refused to be brow beaten. Ended up getting paid off with a years salary because I stood my ground through their endless fucking pointless made up performance reviews. I took small pleasure in learning one of the shitty managers ended up taking long term sick leave for 'stress' against the same senior female manager.
Don't think she managed a years salary pay off though. Ha. Grin

JustHereForThePooStories · 29/01/2019 15:28

f they are offering a settlement agreement they are concerned you have a case against. Take legal advice

Not necessarily. It’s often offered by an employer to reduce the time and effort they have to spend on a disciplinary process. Given that the OP only works two days a week, and her attendance has been very poor, it’s probably take months before they’d be able to get a performance improvement plan closed-out (if the company uses them) and move to dismissal.

An exit agreement sounds smart and is actually probably quite a fair gesture by the employer.

coffeeforone · 29/01/2019 15:39

If they are offering a settlement agreement they are concerned you have a case against. Take legal advice

Not always. Some employers do this as a matter of course. I've worked for a few places that start by offering a settlement agreement every time they want rid of someone, regardless of how clear the grounds for dismissal are. Saves any hassle.

Inliverpool1 · 29/01/2019 15:58

Yes obviously not always.

HR is there for the companies protection not the employees benefit so independent advice is advisable

ThisMustBeMyDream · 29/01/2019 16:03

OP: if you get Universal Credit, any settlement will affect it. If it is over 6000 it will reduce any entitlement. Over 16000 and it will stop completely.

It won't affect tax credits in the same way as you arr allowed savings.

PerfectPeony · 29/01/2019 16:07

Been reading the thread and I really feel for you- I can’t imagine how hard it must all be. It sounds like you’re doing everything you possibly can. I know a friend who uses a nanny share- so maybe that would be an option for the future.

Good luck and I hope you have some real life support for yourself and the children. Flowers

Original poster
Spamup · 29/01/2019 16:11

Not on UC at present, currently on hold to acas then will look at the EAP for further advice. Thankyou.

OP posts:
TacoLover · 29/01/2019 16:14

facilitating some flexibility can result in long term loyalty

Confusedhow much more flexible is her company supposed to get, she's only been in 50% of the time since September..

Bluntness100 · 29/01/2019 16:17

If they are offering a settlement agreement they are concerned you have a case against

This really isn't true, it's offered in redundancy, to end an employee dispute, or simply to end employment. They clearly don't want to make this painful for the op

And try to remember, I think it's clear, they have a case here. Of course they could go through a dismissal process and give her no money, but why do they need to be unpleasant. She only works two days a week, two or three months salary and ending it amicably is a better way to handle this.

Darnsquirrels · 29/01/2019 16:21

@pumpastrotter

Not much advice but I love how people suggest just getting a nanny/babysitter if you have no family support  most of them won't look after sick children either!

Not true at all. I was a nanny/ maternity nurse for almost 20 years and ran a couple of agencies and I've never heard of a nanny refusing to care for sick children. Hmm

Apple103 · 29/01/2019 16:31

I'm not going to disagree about the time off but just to say I really feel for you. Leaving an abusive relationship, then solely taking care of two children, trying to better your life and life is still a battle. You really cant help your DC being sick and having no one to help out. Sorry op.