To be sacked due to sick children?

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Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

Don't post in AIBU because you'll just get rubbish replies bashing single parents from the ardent Tory types who would do away with all employment protection policies, given half a chance.

Grow up.

Settlement agreement...WTF!

From nought to turbo miles per hour or what?

However much time you have had off to look after your sick children AND the business cannot sustain your absence, to get this stage without having directly met or spoken to an HR bod smells off to me.

Settlement/compromise/car park (as they are affectionately known) agreements are a neat pincer move, supported by HR, to get vulnerable employees out. The practical leverage being the employee in difficult circumstances is offered a wodge of money & the threat of dismissal is removed, & in return the employee is no longer under pressure, has a small sum of money but now has NO recourse to discuss further or take legal action.

Any good employer who offers a settlement agreement - because in some circumstances it is a win-win agreement for all parties - will strongly urge the employee to seek legal advice before signing...& it also offers the employee the opportunity to negotiate a better deal. As I say, in some circumstances a settlement agreement can work well for both parties.

Your line manager, I think, sounds like a manipulative arse.

I hope the ACAS call is going well.

Now the settlement agreement has been mentioned, gloves are off.

It is now time to see a specialist employment lawyer to share what has happened in past few years, disentangle what legal protection or adjustments are due based on your parental, MH & any other protected attributes. Then take advice to help you decide if you want to stay to fight your corner as an employee in that company or leave on terms favourable to you. It is they who have brought the settlement agreement to the table, it is time to negotiate.

Do not resign. It’ll screw your self-esteem, finances, claim of benefits.

SIGN NOTHING until you have had independent expert employment advice & slept on it before making a decision.

Also part of a settlement agreement can be for the employer to give you a ‘vanilla’ reference. You have no guarantee of this if you resign.

I think you are getting a really harsh time on here. I haven’t read the full thread but you said your dc has had 4 hospital admission? That is not the same as them just being abit under the weather. Have you a union to contact for advice ?

However much time you have had off to look after your sick children AND the business cannot sustain your absence, to get this stage without having directly met or spoken to an HR bod smells off to me.

The OP has said they tried to. She didn't engage.

@UniversalAunt I think you've missed a few of the OPs posts. HR have been involved and OP didn't respond to their agreement. They have documented that they have tried to work with her.

Your advice is good for rogue companies but it sounds like they've been pretty reasonable in following process here; and a settlement agreement isn't an insane way to deal with an employee who has difficult childcare requirements and has been off for a year, and then 50% of the last 5 months. It eases OPs childcare issues and means the company can hire someone more reliable.

She's on the phone to ACAS, and will get funded legal advice from a solicitor if it's a proper settlement agreement, too.

You have to look at it from the employers point of view and that of your colleagues, you have basically missed half your allotted shifts - no employer can allow this on a long term basis, they may allow parents to take unpaid leave for a period of time for serious illness but it's calling in for days here and there that is hard. You need to sort out childcare, you are paying a lot - a nanny may be cheaper

From nought to turbo miles per hour or what

Actually I think that's just you ...

I did ask up thread but appreciate there are lots of replies.
You can get up to 80% of childcare covered under UC, are you earning too much to qualify?
Hope it's not too late for this job, but going forward it may help.

I think they’ve been pretty good to allow it to go on for so long to be honest. I also think pretty good to give you the option of leaving with some money (yes I get it saves them a process too). I am reeeeeeeeally surprised your boss mentioned it in such an offhand manner without HR there though 🤔 obviously get some legal advice regarding the settlement but unless you can guarantee not being off again then I wouldn’t go through the process and risk ending up with nothing. You have my sympathy as a parent of 3 but less so as a manager who had to juggle this kind of thing in a team - there’s only so long you can let it go on for and it seems they’ve been pretty generous.

You said you were going to work.

Now it's, just half a day. Your child has been in hospital it's not ridiculous to assume that you won't be in tomorrow.

I took a settlement agreement instead of going through the whole redundancy consultation procedure. It was bloody great - a lump sum fee, a reference in my control, and I ended up getting another job while on gardening leave and started at a new company the day after my previous contract ended.

I'd take it with both hands.

Hhhhhhmmmmmm

In a settlement agreement yes, they offer you money to leave - often the same as they would offer in a redundancy situation.

They have to allow you to get legal advice (the agreement would not be valid if they did not do this) and they should pay towards it. Your EAP will not provide this (as it is employer paid) so you need to find an employment lawyer. Legal cover on house or car insurance may cover it.

To be honest, the lawyer only looks over the agreement and checks with you what claims you may have. If they think you do have claims they will advise you to ask for more money.

My advice - whatever they offer, ask for double, be prepared to settle at a bit less than that but start there.

To be clear - right now, you have no claim, they haven't actually done anything so you have nothing to claim and are not in any dispute with them. They could go down the disciplinary process with you and give warnings etc, which could end in dismissal down the line, but they have not started that and seem to want to avoid it.

Seconding @VanGoghsDog comments.

As I said, compromise agreements can be a mutual win-win in some circumstances.

Take legal advice before you sign anything.

My advice - whatever they offer, ask for double, be prepared to settle at a bit less than that but start there

I feel so bloody sorry for her employers. OP’s never in to do the job and now people are encouraging her to screw them for every penny. Unbelievable.

I sincerely hope, if they need staff in the future, they employ a man.

I understand that, in the five years rhe op has worked there, she has had two maternity leaves, one year off due to personal circumstances and in the five months she's been back, she has not turned up for work for at least fifty percent of the time.

And now people are suggesting she try to screw them for money she isn't entitled to.

It's attitudes like this that make employers not wish to employ women. Where as a certain amount of flexibility is required, this is now too much, and no business can run succesfully if it's run to meet the employees personal life and not the businesses. There has to be reasonable ness.

This employer has done nothing wrong, they are also likely to give her a good reference, and they are even going to give her a pay off.

It's simply not morally correct to advise she tries to fuck them over for more cash as her parting shot.

Adriene it's actually a man that has caused this. If the father of the OP's children had stepped up to his responsibilities and not abused his partner, provided financially for his children or helped out when his children were sick, the OP wouldn't be in this position.

With all due respect, the OP chose the man she decided to settle down with and have children with, why is that her employers problem? Nobody is denying the OP has been through a rough time but she is not a reliable asset to the company. That’s completely down to her:

For a totally different situation I took a Settlement Agreement last year after being treated horrendously, with good legal advice (paid mainly by Ex-Employer) I got x3 of their original offer, a couple of extra month's pay and bonus payment I was due because it went on for so long - I feel like a different person now I'm out of there, could be for the best. Good luck, you are doing an amazing job bringing up your children with no support.

You have a lot going on be brave and do the right thing for you .

I'm really sorry about your struggles OP. You're definitely fighting an up hill battle.

However, you're not being sacked because of your sick children.
It sounds like you're being asked to leave because you are incapable to fulfilling your obligations at work due to your home commitments. That's not your employers fault.

OP,

Never say you should have stayed with your ex.

This is a very hard period of your life, but you 100% did the right thing getting out of an abusuve violent relationship.

it's actually a man that has caused this.

So that means that all men should be shafted does it? What a ridiculous attitude. 🙄

To be clear - right now, you have no claim, they haven't actually done anything so you have nothing to claim and are not in any dispute with them. Theycouldgo down the disciplinary process with you and give warnings etc, which could end in dismissal down the line, but they have not started that and seem to want to avoid it.*

And yet she should seek double what they are offering her, even though they don't need to?

People wonder why employers think twice about employing mothers, people with mental health issues, people with caring responsibilities etc

OP has been through a terrible time. I was in a similar situation. Left and abusive husband with 2 kids. Except I have to work full time. Op could have also made very different decisions along the way while she has been through a bad time, she is also at fault in parts.

And yet she is being encourage to try and rip her employers off. Meanwhile people moan about how hard it is to get a job when you have these issues.

'in the five years rhe op has worked there, she has had two maternity leaves, one year off due to personal circumstances and in the five months she's been back, she has not turned up for work for at least fifty percent of the time.

And now people are suggesting she try to screw them for money she isn't entitled to.'

Quite

Awful