To be sacked due to sick children?

[Spamup]

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

Just wanted to say Op that I admire your strength and determination given everything that you have had to go through over the past few years.
Don't feel bad if you have to take a career break because you don't want to end up stressed, burnt out etc trying to achieve the impossible.

I hope your little ones' health problems improve.

Take care of yourself OP and Good Luck

Why would any parent drag a sick young child out and to a childminder's house? Poor things. They should be in their beds in their pyjamas.

You have nothing to feel bad about. You've looked after and prioritised you sick children as any mother would and must. Never apologise for that.

No idea how to deal with this OP but could you look at working from home or go self employed somehow for future?

PinkGin24 Mon 28-Jan-19 20:58:32
Bloody hell I feel sorry for the company!! Why should they have to put uo with this much shit from you before they can start dismissal proceedings. Being in 50% of the time since September 2018 is shocking. They are running a business not a charity, it is not their problem your kids are sick!

Exhibit number one of a 'twat'

The woman is a lone parent whose partner contributes zilch - unfortunately she's been dealt a bloody hard life card - and we have idiots like you berating her?? Are YOU going to care for her kids so she go to work???

She's trying her best but due to her little ones being ill, PND etc she's had excessive time off work and no, its not the company's fault and yes, they legitimately are taking steps re sickness policy etc

I've read a few posts from you pinkgin and you more often than not come across as crass and vile - not a nice place to be.

In case you're still considering going down the nanny route: our nanny costs approx £1200 per month for four days 9-5 (that includes all our employer contributions as well as her basic pay). She is Ofsted registered so we can use childcare vouchers/tax free childcare to pay her.

She would look after our child of they were ill and has other contacts that can cover for her if she is ill. She also does a bit of housework for us too! (unasked by us, she offered as naptime is quite long at the moment).

We found her through childcare.co.uk and from first contact to her starting work was 2 weeks (could have been sooner if we'd wanted/need).

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Mummylife2018 Mon 28-Jan-19 23:27:49
Why would any parent drag a sick young child out and to a childminder's house? Poor things. They should be in their beds in their pyjamas.

Have you read this thread? Previous posters have absolutely suggested OP do that so long as she doesn't ring in sick ffs

She's a lone parent - she has no family to fall back on for child care - there isn't some magical money tree that can sprout endless childcare - or empathetic family/friends. There is literally NO support - if her children are ill she can't go to work as half the posters on here berating her would happily call SS for child home alone - hypocrites.

So I'll say again OP - you're children are tiny - take a break and once school starts it will be so much easier - you're doing fab

I just came to echo what purplegoose said.

I am in your sutuation (single, no support, 2 little kids, one with special needs). I also use an Ofsted registered Nanny. I use 27 hours a week and my all in cost is £1300. As I am sure you know, this can then be claimed for from Tax Credits (which I also do, and have been through 2 compliance checks, and know what you can claim as costs on top of the wages/pension/employers NI).

It can be daunting to start. I have done the process from the beginning of getting a Nanny then getting her through Ofsted registration. I got a payroll software for £7.99 a month, and deal with that side myself rather than paying £300 a year to a payroll company.

I'm more than happy to share a step by step guide with another parent in difficult circumstances. Just PM me.

Also, in the last 3 weeks, my Nanny has cared for both my children, her own and my boyfriends little girl (who she isn't paid to care for but did it as a favour) who all had chicken pox. Last week she had 3 kids with the pox in my house for 13.5 hours!

I really would urge you to go for it for now. It will get better.

I am reading this thread with my mouth hanging open. You’re on the brink of losing your job and you’re going to TRY go to work tomorrow for a HALF DAY?!
You were spoken to a year ago and paid no heed to them? I’d have you out on your ear after the 3rd week of work you missed.

drogosAm I incorrect in that it may save her money which is also an issue for her?

Yes I did say it was cheaper in one of my posts, did you miss it?

Well fabaunt, it's a good job that the governement say that you should not be dismissed for time off for dependants.

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants/problems-when-you-take-time-off

*Fabaunt Tue 29-Jan-19 00:00:26
I am reading this thread with my mouth hanging open. You’re on the brink of losing your job and you’re going to TRY go to work tomorrow for a HALF DAY?!
You were spoken to a year ago and paid no heed to them? I’d have you out on your ear after the 3rd week of work you missed.*ar

She's worked there for 5 years - you would have no authority to 'have her out on her ear'. How unprofessional and frankly I'd be very surprised if you had any 'authority' to get anyone 'out on their ear' if your post on here is to believed. Totally unprofessional

Well fabaunt, it's a good job that the governement say that you should not be dismissed for time off for dependants.
Within reason! She has missed approx 50% of the past 4 months, and has been absent 70% of the past 5 years.

Fabaunt Tue 29-Jan-19 00:00:26
I am reading this thread with my mouth hanging open. You’re on the brink of losing your job and you’re going to TRY go to work tomorrow for a HALF DAY?!
You were spoken to a year ago and paid no heed to them? I’d have you out on your ear after the 3rd week of work you missed.

Fabaunt Tue 29-Jan-19 00:22:36
Well fabaunt, it's a good job that the governement say that you should not be dismissed for time off for dependants.
Within reason! She has missed approx 50% of the past 4 months, and has been absent 70% of the past 5 years.

So Fabaunt (ridiculous name as you're anything but, that's by the by)

I think the majority of the thread has agreed that the company is not at fault - They absolutely should go down the policy re sickness/leave etc

What is vile is some posters berating the OP - her hands are tied - she's a lone parent and has NO alternative than leaving work and picking her kids up

Fab- can I ask how you would deal with what OP has? Bearing in mind she has no partner

Unlucky for you, all of that absence for maternity leave and postnatal depression is covered by the Equality Act 2010. ("You are protected against discrimination (including dismissal) from day one of your employment. You are protected against unfavourable treatment and dismissal because of pregnancy, pregnancy-related illness or maternity leave during the protected period").

The link I posted also doesn't say "within reason" as to how much time off for dependants is given.

It states your employer must not:

Dismiss you or choose you for redundancy because you asked for time off for a dependant.

Refuse you reasonable time off.

Neither of those state that they can dismiss you if you have taken too much time off for dependants.

Thank goodness women are offered a shred of protection from the men who like to take a shit from a great height and dump us with 100% of the child raising.

OP: have you looked in to claiming DLA for your child who is unwell?

So Fabaunt (ridiculous name as you're anything but, that's by the by)

Why are you being so nasty? Why get personal?

Fab- can I ask how you would deal with what OP has? Bearing in mind she has no partner
I would have sorted out alternative childcare when I was warned last year my job was on the line.
I would make an effort to find suitable childcare in emergency situations.
I would consider leaving work if it meant I couldn’t attend work on a regular basis.
I would respond to emails from HR in a timely manner.
I would absolutely without a doubt show up for work the day after I was made aware I may not have a job going forward, instead of appearing totally disinterested and make out like she’s doing her boss a favour by showing up for a half day tomorrow.

How must her colleagues and management feel with her not showing up for 50% of her shifts? Why should everyone else be inconvenienced because of her home life? This hasn’t been sprung on her last minute. She was warned last year and she was spoken to by HR again more recently which she didn’t bother responding to.

If not and it reaches the stage of 'termination of employment' you could suggest you would take employer to a tribunal for unfair dismissal - more in the interests of either keeping job or getting a decent 'settlement' than actually proceeding to tribunal.

It’s comments like this that make life difficult for all working parents. OP’s company have been more than fair to her & talk of a tribunal will just mean that the next time they have a parent who’s struggling, they’ll get rid at very first opportunity instead of trying to work with them.

Whatever you do OP don’t quit. That will impact you getting benefits. They have to sack you for you to receive benefits. Do you have any family who can help?

OP, you have been incredibly resilient re: your personal circumstances and some of the shit comments you have had on this thread.

You said up thread that most of your time is being spent helping a manager with his admin or something.
Are you actually being used as a pa, and he is shit stirring for you as you are unavailable to him.

Well done on leaving an abusive relationship, raising 2 preschool children single handedly, and trying your best to hold down a job.
I really hope that you can find a more workable childcare solution in the short term.
However, go through the hr process, and do not quit as explained by pps.
Not sure what your actual job is, but how about turning it around and say, they should hire a pa to do the admin for this manager. ( will be cheaper than you) and you work from home, now that this it system is in place.

If you get a nanny or child minder than they will still look after children if they are sick (depending how sick). With those prices it sounds like you might be close to London - my children went to nursery two days a week in London and picked up all sorts of stuff. Hospital would say that in London it’s so multicultural that people are bringing back colds and viruses from other countries and it was hard for small children to build up their immune system to so many different things so quickly.
Also you mention in theory that since you are part-time it looks worse than it is. But you also mention chicken pox...which I’m sorry is a full-time illness and if you were working full-time would have meant being off full-time. You did not rely to the HR email - to them it might look like you either didn’t want to, forgot or didn’t care.
I have twins - 2 children under 3 is so tricky and I really sympathise with you. If I was you I would go to HR and outline things have gone a bit pears up considering your personal affairs recently, but you’ll get a nanny to cover sicknesses, and outline how well you performed prechildren and say you will focus on getting back in form.

I am not benefits expert, so I would get independent advice before relying completely on my post.
But I was under the impression if you left work voluntarily due to childcare issues with a child under the age of 3 then it wouldn't affect your eligibility for UC.
Obviously it's not the top choice for lost people, but I'm pretty sure there's no sanctions or limits if you are leaving for childcare reasons, which you can pretty much prove.

Maybe you would actually be better off not working. If you're only working two days a week, how much is left over after you pay out for childcare? Is it much more than you would be entitled to by not working? What about when you take into account the amount off unpaid leave (when you still pay for a nursery place despite not being paid your salary)?

The numbers don't add up for me either.

Good luck today @Spamup ,
I hope you had chance to read through the link I posted earlier.

You are doing your best in a situation that's far from easy and you've done really well with all you've been through ,especially seeing as you are doing it all alone.

Some of the pp on this thread should be ashamed of themselves,way to kick a woman who's already down ay!
With everything she's been through ,and with no support ,the domestic abuse ,postnatal depression and now being alone with 2 small children yet still trying to hold down a job ,some of you have no empathy whatsoever and have been absolutely vile .

Put yourself in her shoes,kids get ill ,it's a fact of life fgs.