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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours dog has just attacked me and DD.

861 replies

katkat90 · 27/01/2019 18:39

Have had issues with them in the past

They are elderly, with two large breed dogs (think Great Danes?). They cannot control them. Honestly the amount of times I have seen them nearly pull them over in the street/simply pull out of their grasp and go bouncing off and jumping all over people is untrue.

Was walking back from the shop and saw them coming from a distance so I stepped to the side into another neighbours driveway and next thing I know- one of them had pulled out of its owners grasp and came bounding over and knocked DD (who is just about getting confident with her toddling) over.

It was over in seconds- by the time I put the break on the pram (was stood on a slopes drive so it would of ran off into the road) and went to grab DD she was already on the floor the dog barking at her- so I kicked it to get it away, and it bit my leg.

I was furious. Owner very embarrassed an apologetic but I’ve said enough is enough and I would be contacting the police and the RSPCA.

Heaven forbid it bounded on the pram and just decided to bite my 2 week old. It would of taken her head off no doubt.

V shaken and waiting for DH to get home to call the police and RSPCA.

I’ve also messaged his daughter on Facebook

OP posts:
rwalker · 27/01/2019 21:14

shocked at people slagging here off for kicking the dog to get it away from here child . I was out ds was about 3 and a dog as big as him on very long extendable lead (might as well not been on a lead about 12foot long ) came CHARGING upto him I kicked it to stop it jumping on him . Surely as a responsible parent and you felt your child was under threat for unpredictable uncontroled dog you would do anything to get it away . Obviously some people think the dog is more important than a child

Molakai · 27/01/2019 21:16

Obviously some people think the dog is more important than a child

No-one has said that either.

Italiangreyhound · 27/01/2019 21:18

I have not read all the comments but yes, tell the police and RSPCA, photograph the injury.

100% not your fault. 100% the owners fault.

Surely the Police would decided what happens to the dogs, not the person involved.

You and your child were affected, your baby could have been too. I'm so sorry this happened.

SuperMummy1234 · 27/01/2019 21:18

Listen, I would have kicked that dog and kicked it again - harder - for those even querying if this is OP’s fault in anyway.

Come to think of it, I would have probably kicked the owner too!

Dogs should be under control in public places, or not in public places.

ChakiraChakra · 27/01/2019 21:21

I’m very strongly disputing that. YOU might be able to control your reaction because you are used to be around dogs and can understand their behaviour or have had the opportunity to practice those skills. Someone who is never or rarely in contact with dugs, who is scared by them, doesn’t know anything about how aggressive or not a dog is... I’ll gather that there is little chance that you can control your reaction

Now you're talking with relevance to another geek field of interest of mine, how we behave under a perceived threat, our stress response! Grin

We can learn self-regulation techniques, things which enable us to mitigate our fight or flight responses much quicker, and in many situations not get into it at all. It takes practice and effort to learn but can be done, and is applicable to our whole lives, not just the unlikely scenario that we're faced with a dog attack.

I won't post here because I don't want to de-rail the thread, but if anybody on MN would like pointing to a few resources (free, not mine, publicly available, not dog-specific but in another weird twist I am actually going to be doing some resources for dog owners this year 😂) you're welcome to PM me and I'll share some links.

HenweeArcher · 27/01/2019 21:21

@Deadbudgie 👏

Booboostwo · 27/01/2019 21:22

No one is saying that the OP is at fault for kicking the dog because poor dogs that attack should not be kicked. Instead quite a few people have said that kicking a dog is unwise as you are more likely to get bitten as a result, which the OP was so kind of case in point.

Wordthe · 27/01/2019 21:23

I'm flattered that you pay me such attention @Deadbudgie

Booboostwo · 27/01/2019 21:27

QueenieinFrance the analogy is exactly the same with a driver, different drivers correspond to different dogs. A driver having a heart attack behind the wheel is analogous to a dog who has a brain tumour, a drunk driver is analogous to a poorly socialized/trained dog let loose, an inattentive driver is analogous to a dog that gets a fright, etc. In both cases it is much better to cross the road safely/not get bitten and then deal with the driver/dog than to just step off the pavement without looking/know fuck all about dogs and get run over/bitten and then deal with the driver/dog.

QueenieInFrance · 27/01/2019 21:28

Your refusal to consider how to behave around dogs is bonkers.
If you had read my posts you would have realise its not bonkers.
It’s coming from a deep fear after been attacked several times by dogs.

Now most people on here seem to scared shitless by spiders. Loads of talks about waiting of x and y to come and deal with the beast. Refusing to go into the room etc...
Despite the fact spiders are 100 times smaller, can’t harm you etc...
I’ve never seen anyone saying that they are bonkers and shouod learn to behave around spiders. Despite the fact you will always have spiders in your house at some point.

So why do you think everyone should do that same thing about dogs? Confused
Or is it just the fact that spiders ar all supposed to be horrible and it’s seen as ok to afraid of them (just like I am of dogs but with very good reasons). But dogs are supposed to be all nice and everyone is supposed to LOVE dogs, get on with them and know how to behave around them???

Hittapotamus · 27/01/2019 21:28

101 is not a free call. If she has no credit how is she being blase about not phoning them? It's hardly a (free) 999 call situation is it?

BMW6 · 27/01/2019 21:29

I am a dog owner and dog lover, but am not a twat like some on here.

The blame lies entirely with the owner of an out-of-control dog. The OP's reaction is totally understandable in the circumstances.

The dog should be rehomed with competent people who CAN control it.

Schuyler · 27/01/2019 21:29

YANBU.

As a mother and dog lover, I am shocked at some of the posts. OP acted out of instinct and her primary concern was to protect her child. I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same. As much as I adore my dog, if he happened to attack my child, there’s no contest and I’d do anything to protect my child. My dog is small and he probably couldn’t knock over a small child but these are big dogs. They cannot be bouncy even if they are friendly - although it doesn’t sound like it - as they could seriously hurt a child.

user1497787065 · 27/01/2019 21:29

Why post on Mumsnet before calling the Police if this dog is 'dangerous'

QueenieInFrance · 27/01/2019 21:33

Booboo nope it’s titally different.
Someone who has a heart attack will not have been able to plan for it.

A dog that has a brain tumour, either it will be known by the owner or will have shown changes in his behaviour.
A poorly socialised Dog will have shown his behaviour too.

In all those cases, the dog shouod not be let off the lead in a street or around people. And if the owner cannot hold the lead, then they shouod be taking them outside
(in this case, they shouod be giving the dogs away to another owner as they clearly can’t look after them and control properly. What is the next time the dog pushed an elderl person over and they break their hip? Or push another child or person and they fall into the road?)
It’s totally different than something that isn’t and can’t be planned like a heart attack.

PepsiLola · 27/01/2019 21:34

Even if you do not have credit on your phone, you can call emergency numbers @katkat90

QueenieInFrance · 27/01/2019 21:35

Beside booboo you are also miss8ngbthe point that some people will NOT be Abel to learn whatever you want them to learn.

If you are never around dogs, if you are scared to death by them, (you couod also add SN, disabilities etc etc), then ‘learning’ those skills might well be beyond what some people can do.

Telling people who say they can’t do it that they should isn’t going to help anyone tbh.

Molakai · 27/01/2019 21:39

Queenie I did not say that having a fear or phobia was bonkers. I was referring to your statement:

I’m nit planning to learn how to react if this was happening because
1- owners shouod be able to stop their dogs before they scare people like this

Relying on the actions of dog owners is as bonkers as relying on people not to burgle your unlocked house. In an ideal world of course that would be the case but we live in the real world.

Booboostwo · 27/01/2019 21:40

Queeninfrance a dog who has a brain tumour or dementia has sudden, unexpected and unpredictable symptoms which include aggression, just like a human who has an undiagnosed medical condition that suddenly, unexpectedly and unpredictably affects their driving.

A dog that is poorly trained/socialized and let off the lead by its feckless owners is exactly like the driver who drinks knowing he will drive. In both cases a reckless person is at fault but in both cases the objective is to avoid becoming a victim of the reckless person and then deal with their recklessness. There should not be drunk drivers, but there will be drunk drivers so we look for cars even at zebra crossings. There should not be poorly trained dogs off lead but there will be poorly trained dogs off lead so we learn how to deal with dogs safely.

Italiangreyhound · 27/01/2019 21:44

My son was knocked over by a dog when he was quite small. It was very clearly not a dangerous or scary situation and he picked himself up (upset) and looked after him.

The fact the OP tried to get the dog away from her child was presumably because this was a very scary situation and not just an accident but more scary than that. Had I had any concerns the dog would attack my (then) four year old, I would have done anything to get it away from him.

Booboostwo · 27/01/2019 21:44

QueenieInFrance some people have a phobia of water and I have every sympathy for them but the solution is not to try to avoid all water but to get help in the form of counseling and then swimming lessons with a sympathetic teacher. Dog clubs run courses for phobic people, to help them overcome their fears. People who are not familiar with dogs can also take these courses to learn more. In any other sphere of life we don’t counsel people to give into their phobias and accept that their fear will restrict their lives and put them in danger. We encourage them to get help.

Italiangreyhound · 27/01/2019 21:44

I looked after him.

Wordthe · 27/01/2019 21:44

Your refusal to consider how to behave around dogs is bonkers. Dogs exist! It is a nonsensical way to look at the world - because humans are fallible and we live in a world with other humans
Dogs exist because humans choose to keep them as pets, they are not a native species or an endangered species that needs protecting
Yes their owners enjoy having them but to those not interested in dogs they are at best insignificant and at worst a menace and a danger

We should not have to protect ourselves from predators in an urban environment

Willow2017 · 27/01/2019 21:44

Was walking back from the shop and saw them coming from a distance so I stepped to the side into another neighbours driveway and next thing I know- one of them had pulled out of its owners grasp and came bounding over and knocked DD (who is just about getting confident with her toddling) over.

It was over in seconds- by the time I put the break on the pram (was stood on a slopes drive so it would of ran off into the road) and went to grab DD she was already on the floor the dog barking at her- so I kicked it to get it away, and it bit my leg.

Ffs people just make things up don't they?
The dog didnt just 'bump' into dd it bounded along the street, knocked her over and stood over her barking!

What the hell do you think op should have done, ask it nicely to stop?

What if dd had banged her head on the driveway? What if it had stood on her it could have done a lot of damage. How tertified would she have been having a giant dog standing over her barking in her face?

I would have swung my handbag and given it full blast upside the head!

Ignorant self entitled dog owners should be prosecuted and thier dogs taken off them.
One of my ds was terified of dogs for years after being jumped on by a dog when 2. Literally had to hang onto him if a dog approached as he would run blindly even across a road. It ruined many a walk thanks to idiot dog owner.

And i used to have dogs myself so not a dog hater.

Wordthe · 27/01/2019 21:45

Water is an inevitable fact of life yes we do need to learn to behave around water

dogs are not inevitable, they are human artifacts we have created them, made them into weird and unhealthy shapes for our own amusement