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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider having a home birth

294 replies

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 13:42

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 18:03

Maybe it’s time to leave this thread now?

Confused why? Are you bored reading her comments?

Seline · 27/01/2019 18:03

No intervention occurred in either birth. The twins wouldn't have been at home anyway due to them being early and twins but with my term son it was a planned cesarean for maternal request with no medical indication. When they got to him he was in distress.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 18:06

in a real emergency DH would have stayed with DS, of course, until someone could get there

Great if that’s an option. Not everyone has a DH or a DP. Some DHs would really struggle with leaving their wife in that situation not knowing if he would see her alive again.

PooleySpooley · 27/01/2019 18:08

Do it - I have had two 19 years ago and 17 years ago (NOT popular those days).

Best experience ever.

Cherylshaw · 27/01/2019 18:11

I was low risk and had little problems through pregnancy however labour didn't go to plan and both me and my baby nearly died as a result, alot of the labour issues were due to neglect however so it might have been a different story if I had a home birth but after my first I wouldn't take the chance of things turning south

Teateaandmoretea · 27/01/2019 18:18

The first signs of feral distress and you’d be transferred. Very very different situations.

I have a friend whose baby would apparently have died if she'd had a homebirth. Except her waters went first and they're was meconium so she'd have had her in hospital anyway Confused.

You are monitored much more carefully, so many people get to hospital late and basically have no care at all then seem surprised when something isn't right. You are sent to hospital at the first sign of trouble.

OP do what you want, tbh when I had a hb I didn't discuss it with that many people. I asked the midwives about PPH and resuscitation at home and they talked me through the processes. A couple of people were really anti, my dad being one of them but it's your decision after all.

divadee · 27/01/2019 18:19

I had a home birth with my second. I loved the birth. Just what I wanted. I did have a massive PPH (6.5 pints) and was blue lighted in, but I am still a massive advocate for home births. I am not having any more, but if I had been I would of been gutted not to have another home birth.

PrivateDoor · 27/01/2019 18:22

Seline I am confused. The baby that required ventilation was born by caesarian? Surely you realise that is indeed an intervention and not relevant to homebirth Confused

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 18:28

I know not everyone has a DH or DP, but OP appears to so not sure how that's relevant to her decision.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 18:31

Some DHs would really struggle with leaving their wife in that situation not knowing if he would see her alive again

Are DHs generally allowed into the theatre for crash sections? Mine wasn't.

MissMalice · 27/01/2019 18:32

There’s some brilliant information on this website under the section “But what if...” www.homebirth.org.uk/

My hospital birth was not a nice experience and I am certain it lead to me having quite severe PND. I was left alone both before and after the birth. I was low risk and in science terms it was text book but I found it extremely distressing.

When I found out I was expecting again, I read a lot about the hormonal side of labour and birth and about the risks of hospital and home births and decided a home birth was right for me. I was low risk and it was a wonderful birth. I had one midwife throughout and a second arrived in good time. I wasn’t ever left alone. A third midwife arrived a couple of hours after the birth. I felt safe, happy and supported. I didn’t get PND.

I have since had two “high risk” home births - BMI risk. What I knew from my research though was that the safest place for me was likely to be where I felt safest. So women who feel safer in hospital are going to be safer there. If they were made to stay at home or felt that they should, andrenaline and cortisol levels would be raised which would interfere with the natural birth process and so home wouldn’t necessarily be safest for them.

Both of my “high risk” home births were perfect. Straight forward, relatively quick, healthy babies with 9/10 APGAR scores, natural 3rd stage, minimal blood loss, no stitches. No PND.

I highly recommend a home birth if you think it might be right for you. Read about it - find out about the risks of both, see what feels right for you and your baby.

MissMalice · 27/01/2019 18:34

Are DHs generally allowed into the theatre for crash sections? Mine wasn't.

I was a birth partner for a friend who ended up with a crash section - her DP was allowed in to theatre.

AprilSpring · 27/01/2019 18:35

There’s a reason why hospitals and all their technology exist- some woman need it, others don’t though.
I had a home birth with dd2 it was empowering and magical completely the opposite of dd1s birth which I felt out of control most of the time.
I did my homework read lots, I was low risk throughout pregnancy had this changed I wouldn’t have pushed for it. I lived 10-15 mins from the hospital, more like 5-10 if I needed to be blue lighted in. The community midwifery team were amazing, I discussed the positives and negatives along with risks and my attitude towards those risk almost at every appointment. In my area you get the same two midwives the whole time, they are very special people to me now. Overall I’d recommend it!
Oh and hire a pool - bloody fantastic!

PrivateDoor · 27/01/2019 18:38

No, birth partners generally couldn't be present at a GA section however it is nice for them to be there to give baby skin to skin asap and to reassure the mother when she wakes. It isn't really about seeing baby being born, the role of the birth partner is much bigger than that!

crazyontheweekend · 27/01/2019 18:38

OP if it were you I would do some research and consider it seriously. I had two homebirths and they were both beautiful, blissful experiences BUT i was low risk, full term both times and ten minutes by car/ambulance to my local maternity hospital. Apart from the obvious benefits of being in your own home, you are in fact monitored MORE closely than in hospital as the midwives (I had 2 at my first and 3 at my second - one being a student who actually delivered the baby:-)) never leave your side. They are watching and observing you constantly and have a monitor on the baby all the time. They literally never leave the room. I'd do it all again tomorrow if only ttc my 3rd wasn't proving so difficult:-( Anyhow, I digress. Good luck OP.

PRoseLegend · 27/01/2019 18:42

My pregnancy was low risk all the way through until labor, when it happened so fast that I tore a blood vessel as baby was coming out and I lost over 1L of blood. I could have died, Post Partum Heamorrage is the leading cause of death for women in childbirth.
There was no way of predicting that would happen, and for future children there's no way I would consider giving birth anywhere but the hospital, as the risk of another post-partum heamorrage increases once you've had one. Even the birth centre (which is downstairs from the main ward for me) would have been a risk, as it only took 5 minutes for that much blood to gush out.
You never know what could happen, every childbirth is different.
With fast labors, there is a higher risk of tearing requiring stitches and possible post partum heammorrage from the trauma.
Personally, I wouldn't risk it.
However, I would highly recommend getting into a "Midwifery Team/Group" if you have one locally. The idea is that you have the same team of midwives supporting you through pregnancy and also one of them will be at your labor. My local hospital has this service, it's great for continuity of care.

MissMalice · 27/01/2019 18:47

From the website linked above:

“What if you had a postpartum haemorrhage?

Midwives at home births carry the same drugs which are used to expel the placenta and contract the uterus as would be used in hospital. These include synthetic Oxytocin and Ergometrine, often given in combination as Syntometrine. If these do not control the haemorrhage, the midwife would call an ambulance to transfer you to hospital, and undertake other emergency measures in the meantime, such as giving intravenous fluids and manually compressing your womb.

However, it is significantly less likely that you would have a post-partum haemorrhage after a home birth than after a hospital birth, because the risk of PPH rises with interventions such as assisted delivery and induction of labour, which are only carried out in hospital.”

PrivateDoor · 27/01/2019 18:49

Prose I am unsure where in the world you are, but PPH is not the leading cause of maternal death in the UK, though it is in developing countries. In the UK, it is cardiac disease.

C8H10N4O2 · 27/01/2019 18:53

People will tell you horror stories OP, they will cite "but what if" as if it was a one way risk. However in hospital you may not get the continuity of care/supervision that is available for a home birth with two experienced midwives focusing on you.

My traumatic birth was in hospital - stressful, changing staff coming in and out looking at machines rather than me, junior doctors accelerating things in the middle of the night against the consultant advice. All added up to a cascade of interventions and a long hospital stay for me and DC1. My pregnancy had not been high risk, there was no reason for the interventions other that trying to speed women through the process.

The others were born at home - two midwives with me the whole time, midwife visits focused on me and not the five people calling for them. Much less stressful due to the home environment - DCs and me up and about and well the next day rather than being hospitalised.

Get good advice from your midwives, discuss what would happen if things went wrong in labour, form your view on what is best for you based on that, rather than anecdotes one way or the other.

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 18:54

I haven't RTFT but here is my two pence worth.

See if your maternity unit does an open day/evening about home births. Mine did, there were parents there that had done it in the last six weeks, it was extremely useful for my husband to speak to other partners who had been through it themselves as he was really against it. They will talk through all options and you may be able to hire a pool off them if that's what you want (Mine cost £40 to hire with all tap fittings included).

Speak to as many community midwives as you can, they will be the ones who attend home births and will give you all the information you require.

Speak to other parents who have done it.

Keep an open mind, you can go for this option but change your mind up until the last minute, your decision is not set in stone.

I have experience of both hospital and home births. One home birth went a bit wirey, but I was so glad I was at home as I'm pretty sure they would have prematurely intervened and made matters worse. Baby was absolutely fine and so was I.

This is your decision and you have a long time to think about it. I wish you well and hope you enjoy your birth.

Seline · 27/01/2019 18:58

Surely you realise that is indeed an intervention and not relevant to homebirth
I chose to have one because I preferred it. I was textbook for having a homebirth had I have wanted one.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 18:59

PRose, wouldn't there be a significant risk in fast labour of the birth and subsequent PPH happening in the car?

MissMalice · 27/01/2019 19:00

Seline - do you know what the procedures are for resus at home birth? What exactly was it that they did in hospital that they couldn’t have done at home?

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 19:05

I know not everyone has a DH or DP, but OP appears to so not sure how that's relevant to her decision.

There will be others reading who aren’t in OPs exact situation. It’s things like this that need to be considered.

Are DHs generally allowed into the theatre for crash sections? Mine wasn't.

A crash section isn’t the only reason a woman could need transferred to hospital. Would any man honestly think “oh I won’t be allowed in theatre so there’s no point me going”?

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 19:08

Sure. The needs of any extant children need to be weighed in the balance of course.