Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider having a home birth

294 replies

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 13:42

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

OP posts:
MintTeaLady · 27/01/2019 20:45

Do your research first. I absolutely loved my home birth and I would recommend that everyone considers it.

mummyneedssweets · 27/01/2019 20:54

Haven't RTFT but the research suggests if OP is low risk, is having second baby and first one was fast she is SAFER having the baby at home.
My first was text book but I found the transition from home to hospital traumatic.
My second one was at home - I had two midwives and a student with me and it was perfect

GirlfriendInAKorma · 27/01/2019 20:58

I haven't RTFT but would say be careful who you take advice from.

A lot of people will say "oh definitely not, it's mad" etc. and they probably haven't ever really looked into it. It's based on assumptions about what a home birth is like.

Teateaandmoretea · 27/01/2019 21:53

Quite simply if there were women and babies dying all over the place in hbs then the NHS would not advocate it as a good idea.

I think a major issue is that people base it on what hb was like in the past, when less was known, when scans weren't available, when mws travelled round on bikes with little bags. They are modern healthcare professionals.

DH was absolutely of the opinion that it had to be safe or we wouldn't have an NHS mw in our lounge suggesting it was a reasonable option. The evidence even shows its safer for 2nd/ subsequent births. But no birth is completely safe, all risk cannot be eradicated wherever birth takes place.

Buddytheelf85 · 27/01/2019 22:18

Some of the comments on here are really odd.

It’s a decision only you can make, and you should definitely do your research, speak to your midwife, and try to evaluate all the various risks, but you’re certainly not mad to consider it. It’s your second time, the first time was uncomplicated (albeit speedy!), you live pretty close to the hospital, and your next choice is a birth centre which is further from the hospital than your home. I’m pregnant and I’m not considering an HB because it’s my first time, but in your shoes I’d be giving home birth serious consideration.

Aquilla · 27/01/2019 22:21

Nope, and rest assured, the only reason why the midwives are 'really encouraging' it is because it saves the NHS a shit load of ££.

Dreamingofkfc · 27/01/2019 22:22

Nope, me recommending a homebirth to women has nothing to do with cost at all!

MyBreadIsEggy · 27/01/2019 22:24

Yeah Hmm
That’s the only reason midwives recommend it. Hmm

Buddytheelf85 · 27/01/2019 22:28

@Aquila do you think that’s right? I mean it saves the NHS a bed but it means they have to give up at least one (possibly two) midwives exclusively to one woman, which doesn’t usually happen in hospital. Plus they have the possibility that they’ll have to deploy ambulances which are pretty pricey to send out, especially neo-natal ones.

coffeeandbiscuit · 27/01/2019 22:37

I’ve not read the whole thread.

But. I (and others I know) had a home birth for second. No complications or problems, all babies born at home.

But wanted to highlight something re hospital distance. We live 25 mins from ours (give or take). If you’re blue lighted, it’s not going to take that long. (From the centre of our town, I was told one ambulance driver managed the 20 min drive in 8 and it isn’t a straight road.)
Also important to note that with midwives in attendance, they will note any concerns early on — having someone there, dedicated to you is definitely a plus (as opposed to in some hospitals where it’s 1 midwife to 3 rooms). There are risks (and my god, that feeling after they’ve gone through and listed every single one of them), but I absolutely would not plan to give birth in a hospital ever again (unless severe complications). Not that I’m planning number 3!

Aspergallus · 27/01/2019 23:27

The risks are hard for the average person to weigh up.

Mostly, when midwives (and obstetricians) tell you that you are low risk for a home birth, they are referring to frequency I.e. how common or uncommon it would be for someone with your history and pregnancy to run into problems. They are not referring to the severity of the potential problems.

So, it could be very unlikely that you’ll have a problem, though that problem could be catastrophic, and they would say you are low risk. This is the problem with childbirth. In normal circumstances problems are uncommon, but are often serious/fatal/life-changing when they do occur. This is why most HCP choose Hospital; they understand this.

Crude example but think about it -would you sign your kid up for an activity in which 1 in 100 break a limb (high risk, but low severity) or one in which 1 in 1000 get brain damage?

Seline · 27/01/2019 23:34

So, it could be very unlikely that you’ll have a problem, though that problem could be catastrophic, and they would say you are low risk. This is the problem with childbirth. In normal circumstances problems are uncommon, but are often serious/fatal/life-changing when they do occur. This is why most HCP choose Hospital; they understand this.

This is what I was trying to get at

C8H10N4O2 · 27/01/2019 23:44

This is why most HCP choose Hospital; they understand this.

Many HCPs are as uninformed as the next person when it comes to understanding stats around birth. This is something which still often surprises me, especially when they operate in general practice.

How are you factoring in risks introduced by being in hospital with the constant changes in staff, variable experience levels of staff and unnecessary interventions? As opposed to experienced midwifery and continuity of care for the length of time needed.

2isabella2 · 28/01/2019 00:05

Home birth was frequently mentioned to me during my second pregnancy after a relatively straightforward first birth and low risk second pregnancy. I understand risks are similar to hospital but the small chance and the possible consequences of something going wrong was enough to want a hospital (midwife led unit) birth.

Labour and birth went great, baby was born in MLU perfectly and then it went wrong. Thank god i was in hospital or my children would probably be motherless (best case would have been a hugely stressful and scary wait for ambulance and hospital transfer straight into surgery). I personally wouldn't risk it ever. I know of wonderful home births and have friends who are real advocates of it. But for me it would never be a willing choice.

clairestandish · 28/01/2019 00:37

Why I would love to understand statistics etc a bit better.

Eg. 2nd time/low-risk mums being SAFER having a home birth... Why is this? Can stepping through the doors of the hospital also actually raise the risk of certain poor outcomes?

Also does it mean a lot of intervention done during hospital births is actually unnecessary?

clairestandish · 28/01/2019 00:38

Also interestingly enough the only two women who I know who have had homebirths are midwives!

Ribbonsonabox · 28/01/2019 00:47

I had a home birth booked for my second and I felt really positive about it. We have a great home birth team in this are and it's fairly common. So the midwives were all very positive about it. They came and assessed the house and brought their kit etc I'd gotten myself a pool and everything.
Sadly it didnt happen because some issues with my babies growth were picked up at a precautionary scan I had at term and the consultant said they had to get the baby out there and then in hospital...
I was sad I didnt get my homebirth. The birth in hospital was very painful but I just had gas and air so I think I could've coped at home. They had everything I would've had in hospital in the box they brought round... they had blood clotting drugs, pethidine, gas and air etc
I would book another home birth if i had another low risk pregnancy for sure

ChanklyBore · 28/01/2019 00:59

It is not fair to have a conversation in which it is assumed that the risks of home birth are the same as those of hospital birth, and that therefore proximity to hospital is the crucial or deciding factor in safety.

The risks of home birth are a different set of risks to those of hospital birth. You can not compare them. There are problems with birth and the surrounding processes that are caused by the environment of hospital, procedures of hospital, medications given in hospital, entry exams to gain admittance to hospital, hospital based infections, iatrogenic complications - these risks for a second birth are largely taken on by the mother - she is more likely to come out of the birth with injury than she would have been at home. The first intervention is to decide to leave the home and sit in a car, then enter and unfamiliar environment with strangers, lights, sounds. This is especially true of fast labours, when journeys like this are often undertaken in late stages, and women are risking giving birth en route.

I am not going to be the person who lists dangers of different types of birth, because this is a conversation with a pregnant woman. I merely want to point out that there are risks of having a baby in the hospital that you do not encounter when having a baby at home. And there are risks of having a baby at home that you do not encounter in the hospital. But both sets are vastly different, and only the person giving birth can possibly decide which they find preferable. Only them and not one single other person - partners, husbands, wives, parents, midwives, doctors, nobody else gets to choose.

And for the record, the home vs hospital birth rate for the HCP I know personally is about 50/50. As you’d probably expect when speaking about two very safe choices.

FoxFoxSierra · 28/01/2019 01:23

I booked a hb for dc2 for very similar reasons to you and I felt like we were far safer at home. We were monitored much more closely during the pregnancy and when I called saying I wanted a mw one was sent and she didn't leave my side. Compare that to hospital where I was treated as a drama queen and an inconvenience, we had no monitoring as no one believed I was in labour. Technically yes I gave birth where the experts and the equipment were but that's no use if you're left on your own so I was most definitely in far safer hands with the 1-1 care from a very experienced hb mw with dc2.

Colabottles64 · 28/01/2019 01:43

I have rapid labours so had one unplanned and one planned home birth and both were wonderful. I found hypnobirthing really useful for me too to stay calm. I encountered so many negative opinions in advance of my planned homebirth from extended family and even some friends, but I have had the least complicated and most positive birth experiences of anyone of my acquaintance with no interventions and no tears. Everyone seems to love sharing their horror stories with pregnant women which I don’t understand. If you feel comfortable with it and are low risk, I would definitely recommend it. The midwives who attend home births will take no risks and if there is any need you will be transferred but the transfer rate for second time mums is very low. All the best to you for a great birth! X

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 28/01/2019 06:31

Again, in the case of rapid labour the choice is likely at home, at hospital, or IN THE CAR TRYING TO GET THERE. Staying at home avoids that risk.

OP the choice is yours, but in your shoes I'd be seriously looking into it.

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 06:51

In normal circumstances problems are uncommon, but are often serious/fatal/life-changing when they do occur. This is why most HCP choose Hospital

An acquaintance of mine had a catastrophic birth in hospital (baby born with severe brain damage) in circumstances that almost certsinly wouldn't have occurred if she'd laboured at home. She was ignored by a busy and inexperienced midwife.

So what do you do with that information?

chankleybore is right. There are risks for both hospital and home births. Those risks are different. A homebirth can actually be safer for some as the stats show.

EmUntitled · 28/01/2019 06:54

Thank you all for your comments and opinions, it has given me a lot to think about and a better idea of how the home birth process works. It is nice to hear that it is a viable option.

As TaMere said, hospital might not be an option If I thought I would definitely make it to the hospital then that would probably be my preferred place.

But with DD there was a very real chance I wouldn't have made it to the hospital. If we had phoned the labour line 5 mins later or there was a queue, if it had taken longer to throw together my hospital stuff, if there had been roadworks or traffic, if we couldn't find a parking space... then I would have given birth in the car.

So all of these "what if" scenarios like cord prolapse, PPH etc. Would have happened at the side of the road and an ambulance would have had to come and find us. So wouldn't the option of a planned homebirth with all the equipment there and a midwife in attendance or at least on the way, be better?

At the moment I am leaning towards requesting a home birth and preparing for that, but with the option to change my mind if required.
Of course there is a possibility the labour isn't as quick next time, in which case plans could change, but chances are it will be as quick or quicker than the first. If there were other complications or risks during the pregnancy we might have to look at planned induction or CS to avoid spontaneous labour etc.

OP posts:
Ladyoftheloch · 28/01/2019 07:17

I’m not pregnant but going to start ttc this year and I am really keen for a home birth. The pros seem to so wholly outweigh the cons (although I would obviously totally follow the advice of midwives and realise that lots of first-time home births are transferred to hospital).

My family are SO opposed though. I haven’t discussed my plans with them, but my SIL recently had a baby and my family were almost angry that her midwife even suggested it as a possibility at her booking in meeting. So I’m sure I will face opposition when the time comes!

Binkybix · 28/01/2019 07:30

Crude example but think about it -would you sign your kid up for an activity in which 1 in 100 break a limb (high risk, but low severity) or one in which 1 in 1000 get brain damage

You are totally missing the fact that there are similar risks to babies in a hospital birth (for seconds) and more risk to the mother.