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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider having a home birth

294 replies

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 13:42

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

OP posts:

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 16:58

ILoveMaxiBondi I feel your advice is sound in general but not really tailored to precipitate labours. If you end up giving birth on the side of the road then there is zero medical staff there to help.

ILoveAnOwl · 27/01/2019 17:02

I had two homebirths. Both beautiful, and problem free. I would recommend it to anyone with a low risk pregnancy.

Another friend tried, but it got tricky and the midwives transferred her to hospital as soon as they could and she and the baby were both fine.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 17:03

That wasn’t my experience O4FS but I realise every hospital is working with different resources and patient levels. I

MegMez · 27/01/2019 17:05

It sounds like I could’ve written this back in 2011/2012! My first was quick and our closest MLU closed before number 2 arrived. As you said, the car journey was the worst bit. I was low risk, healthy and in my 20s for both. Choosing to have my youngest from home was the right choice for us. He would absolutely have been born in a car with only my husband to help, no G&A, no
Midwife assisting when it became apparent the cord was around his neck.

I had a midwife and a student midwife with me for the 20 minute pushing stage (they arrived to “check me over” but he wanted to come out then). Two paramedics arrived with extra oxygen (I think - it was a while ago and I was busy with birthing!) as they’d not anticipated it being an actual delivery so quickly.

My husband was way more relaxed too, he felt useful and more in control. The birth was quick and we were both well (low risk, full term, etc were all indicators that this would be the case) so his first day on planet earth was calm and cosy and lovely. My older son (who was 3 and a half at the time) left for nursery at 9 o’clock with my mum when I was still walking around, drinking tea and waving him off and by the time she brought him home at 11:30 I was showered and sat breastfeeding his brand new baby brother in his home.

To those who say you’d not have a tooth removed at home, I’d say I’d rather have a dental expert pull out my tooth in my house in a room set up exactly for that purpose than in a car with no pain relief and passers by gawping through the window.

It worked for us. We weren’t approaching home birth from a pie in the sky, above or airy fairy point of view but from a fear that my second birth would be as quick or quicker than the first. I know if there’d been issues he or me or we would have needed to be blue lighted to the hospital BUT timings wise this would have been the case if we’d tried for a hospital birth but from the roadside with two far more stressed out parents.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 17:06

Of course tamere, there are lots of factors to consider. In OPs shoes I’d plan to head to the hospital at the first twinge and just stay they’re even if told to go home. Obviously Op may not feel that is necessary.

Sickoffamilydrama · 27/01/2019 17:08

@Seline sadly for some the statistics show that having those people around doesn't prevent their baby dying.

Childbirth is such a complicated thing I do believe that women should be given all the facts and allowed to decide what best suits them but with none of the emotional blackmail and doom of you/your baby might die.

If you do everything by the textbook although not sure who's textbook you can still have something go wrong unfortunately that's part of life and what makes it so precious.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 17:09

But I have a MLU less than a 2 minute drive away and I would still opt to go to the hospital 40 minutes away for the peace of mind.

Lwmommy · 27/01/2019 17:12

Without hesitation i would have a homebirth if i ever have another child as long as circumstances allowed.

I had GD in my first pregnancy and had to be induced so wasnt an option but my actual labour was short and straightforward. From waters being broken by MW to.induce labour to birth was 4 and a half hours and only 2 pushes. MW at the hospital warned that future labours could be quick as a blink.

Seline · 27/01/2019 17:20

sadly for some the statistics show that having those people around doesn't prevent their baby dying.
No it doesn't always, but it does in some cases and I'd rather take the chance to save the baby

LaurieMarlow · 27/01/2019 17:23

And a whole hospital full of other staff on the other side of the door should you crash, haemorrhage, require emergency surgery etc. Right there at the touch of a button. Not an hours drive away depending on when the ambulance can get to you and get you to the hospital.

Haven't read the whole thread, but there's little point in any of this if the midwife is too stretched or inexperienced to spot when you're in trouble.

I know of 2 catastrophic births. Both happened in hospital, with issues missed by midwives. Yes there was a team on hand afterwards, but it was too late by then.

In a home birth situation, you have an experienced midwife on hand, one to one. There's a lot to be said for that and you won't necessarily get it hospital. In fact, a low risk second birth is exactly the type of birth that might not get sufficient attention on the ward.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 17:26

Ilovemaxibondi you can't drop everything at the first twinge if you already have a two-year-old to look after at home... seriously, you do not want to be spending forty minutes in the car if you are in fast labour, which basically means one long non-stop contraction. I think we can agree that giving birth by the roadside is the worst of all possible worlds.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 17:29

I think that every woman on here who has experienced fast labour has said she'd opt for the home birth in your shoes OP. That is significant.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 17:30

you can't drop everything at the first twinge if you already have a two-year-old to look after at home.

If you’re having a home birth and suddenly need to transfer to hospital what do you do with child number 1? Same situation. Except the first one you can plan better for. If you have no-one who can take your child quickly in the first scenario, you have no-one to take your child in the second, which is actually an emergency. Something to consider before getting pregnant, which the OP is doing.

rosesin · 27/01/2019 17:32

Haven't RTFT but just to give you my experience. I tried to have a home birth with my first. I was extremely low risk and the midwives couldn't recommend it enough! They told me that if anything went wrong they would know about it near enough straight away and be able to get me to a hospital. Or if half way through I changed my mind I could just tel them I want to go hosp and it wouldn't be a problem. I bought the birthing pool and everything. My waters broke at 8pm and by 2am I was fully dilated. I was pushing and pushing and I kept saying he's not coming nothing is happening but the midwife just kept telling me to keep going I said no I really want to go hospital. She wanted me to keep going for another hour but my OH stepped in and said no she said she wants to go so we're going. We got to the hosp and turns out baby was back to back and there's no way I would have pushed him out as he was stuck! It was a terrible experience IMO. The doctors said they have to rush me to have either a c section or if the baby is far enough down then by forceps (luckily forceps happened) as they said babies heart beat had slowed down way too much for their liking so had to rush me to get him out. It was extremely distressing and had we have been in the hospital to begin with they would have been able to do the scan a long time ago to see if he was in a bad position. So I promised I would always tell people this story so no one goes through what I did. Hope this helps xx

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 27/01/2019 17:33

in a real emergency DH would have stayed with DS, of course, until someone could get there. FWIW I had an EMCS under GA for a rare, unpredictable birth complication with DS1 but would still opt for a home birth for a third.

PrivateDoor · 27/01/2019 17:35

Still didn't save me from the total placental abruption that nearly killed us. Even the midwives didnt notice as they disnt expect it to happen. Thankfully I was already in hospital otherwise DD would have died and likely me too

Sorry for picking out this one post however it is one of many where people say how dangerous birth was for them despite already saying they had risk factors. In the example above, the poster said she had twins, which is a known risk factor for abruption, so she would have been strongly advised against home birth.

This poster is asking about homebirth IF her pregnancy is low risk and clearly stated she wouldn't pursue it if complications arise.

For that reason, OP please try not to be swayed by a lot of the scare stories on here as they are irrelevant to your situation. Research research research and discuss with your midwife and DH when the time comes and decide together.

Seline · 27/01/2019 17:36

I also posted about how my singletons term son with no risks was born blue and needed neonatal resuscitation

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 27/01/2019 17:39

Midwives are trained in neonatal resuscitation.

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 17:41

Our MW had to inform us that the equipment they stashed in our hallway was emergency equipment, including that to help resusc mum & baby

Seline · 27/01/2019 17:46

They can ventilate a baby, do chest compressions and administer adrenaline and dextrose can they?

O4FS · 27/01/2019 17:53

Seline - Maybe it’s time to leave this thread now? (Meant kindly). You were in hospital, you had an awful time and the staff didn’t notice. Maybe if you had had two experienced MW looking after you that might have noticed something wasn’t right? It’s impossible to say.

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 17:56

I understand your viewpoint but not every birth results in such events. Being in hospital doesn't mean things will be caught & acted upon any quicker than they would be at home. I'd say from my own experiences they are more likely to be picked up if the MW are exclusively monitoring you instead of x number of other women too

Canuckduck · 27/01/2019 17:59

Look at the evidence and make an informed decision with your midwife / doctor. I had two home births and they were wonderful. Both times I had quick labours. Second time was so quick I likely wouldn’t have made it to hospital on time. I lived a very short distance to hospital and had complete confidence in the midwife care. I also felt able to tolerate the pain with gas and air. Giving birth in my opinion should not be compared to having an operation. It’s not apples to apples.

PrivateDoor · 27/01/2019 18:00

Seline you have no way of knowing if that would have happened at a HB, so again it is a bit pointless really. Obviously I don't know your medical history or what happened but I do know that it MAY well have been complicated by an intervention that occurred in hospital and would not have happened at home. In all my years as a midwife, I have never known a baby to require that level of intervention following a completely uncomplicated birth (no induction, no breaking waters, no instrumental birth, no opiates etc) - with no meconium, no concerning features in the fetal heart rate pattern, no delay in labour, no maternal analgesia etc - all factors which would have led to a transfer in from a homebirth. Was there a CTG on (continually monitoring your baby's heartrate?)

planespotting · 27/01/2019 18:03

@PrivateDoor I had one of those CGTs, what do you think of them please?

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