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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider having a home birth

294 replies

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 13:42

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

OP posts:
Burpsandfustles · 27/01/2019 19:43

Re sections
There are far more risks to baby from vaginal delivery.

MissMalice · 27/01/2019 19:47

Re sections
There are far more risks to baby from vaginal delivery.

Such as?

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 19:50

Shower curtains from a discount shop is all you need. Wrap 'em up, throw 'em out!

Seline · 27/01/2019 19:50

Shoulder dystocia, higher rates of death in utero, cord prolapse, hypoxia to name a new

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 19:51

@Burpsandfustles
If that were the case wouldn't they suggest elective c sections for everyone?

It is hard to unpick because many c sections are done because of some sort of problem or risk factor. Yes vaginal birth might be more risky for particular issues, but perhaps not for everyone.

OP posts:
Seline · 27/01/2019 19:54

C sections are a funny one.

An uncomplicated vaginal birth is the "easiest" birth. An instrumental vaginal is the one with the most risks followed by emergency cesarean.

The problem is, you can't tell who's going to have a complicated vaginal birth and need instruments or surgery. The only way to avoid those is to plan a cesarean.

So a planned cesarean is safest for damage control as it avoids the biggest risk factor for an emergency cesarean, vaginal birth gone wrong, if that makes sense.

Burpsandfustles · 27/01/2019 19:54

1st births often are difficult so being in hospital may not increase intervention at all Hmm just first expelling a huge baby from small un stretched vagina will increase intervention.

It's all a bit chicken and egg.

I was thinking about home birth for my second and mw said when it goes well it's the best ever. When it goes wrong... It's the worst ever.

I just dislike the idea that a birth could go wrong because there aren't enough feel good hormones.

Feel good hormones won't stretch your vagina, won't turn a baby, won't stop a back to back baby scraping down your your spine... Won't stop you tearing..... Yes it will help but it can't change physical aspects of the birth.

I resent this sort of thing being pushed. We had this at our nct and it was awful.

MyBreadIsEggy · 27/01/2019 19:54

Em
Reference the mess: there’s a lot less mess than anticipated!
I was worried about the mess, and planned to have a birth pool to contain it....but DS had other ideas! My pool was due to be delivered by courier the day I turned 37 weeks which was all fine and dandy. But DS decided he was coming out at 36+0, so he arrived way before the pool!
We had plastic sheeting (the kind you use to protect carpets when you’re doing DIY) taped to the living room carpet and the sofa. Roll them up and throw them out! The only sign anything had gone on was a small sticky mark on the carpet from the tape!

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 19:55

Shower curtains are slippy as hell, we had a nightmare. Get some of the big puppy/incontinent pads from amazon & a load of old towels. DS was born on our bed...the MW was so chuffed the mess had been contained to the towels & pads we laid out beforehand...until i moved to hold DS & we had a bit of gushing 😣 quick soak in cold water & salt then a hot wash, no dramas. And no slip risk! And lots of salt if blood does go anywhere else

Burpsandfustles · 27/01/2019 19:56

Seline I agree. Although my controlled elc was far better than my text book uncomplicated short first labour.

Dreamingofkfc · 27/01/2019 19:56

My homebirths were really tidy, there was not much mess but the midwives cleared that up so I didn't notice. It was so nice being at home and people coming out to me. I'm a midwife and always said I would deliver in hospital if I thought I needed to but I work in a busy obstetric unit - it's just not where I wanted my babies to be born.

Seline · 27/01/2019 19:58

Burps I've had emergency (proper emergency as in GA and get the babies NOW) and elective and my elective I recovered from faster than friends who had uncomplicated vaginal births.

Emergency was awful though.

MyBreadIsEggy · 27/01/2019 19:59

Dreamingofkfc don’t forget the best part about the post-birth perks of being at home: whatever food takes your fancy! Grin
My dad strolled in when DS was a couple of hours old, arms laden with fish and chips Grin Best meal I’ve ever eaten!

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 19:59

Oh yes, puppy mats on top, I was in the pool so didn't get to use my stack of shower curtains.

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 20:04

I didn't get to get the pool out. Was devastated 😂 but yes being at home meant i could hand DS to DP, so DD could have a cuddle before school. Jump in the bath, get dressed (with the help of my lovely MW) then mob out on the sofa for the rest of the day. Totally different to my hospital birth

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 20:10

My first home birth with a pool, I was giving birth as it was still filling up because I refused to get out! 😂

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 20:13

Brilliant 😂😂😂 i had a wb in hospital first time. Second was planned hospital wb...but ended up unplanned home birth. Twice i was robbed of a pool 😂

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 20:15

Oh no! Third time lucky?

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 20:17

Nope, he came too fast...ended up on the bed. The pool didn't even get unpacked, i needed the gas & air more 😂😂

Shitfuckoh · 27/01/2019 20:19

I haven't RTFT but I've had 3 DC. 1st was hospital birth, the other 2 were both planned home births. I won't be having any more children but I only regret having my 1st in hospital. Loved the Home Births (as much as any one can love labour!)

Aspergallus · 27/01/2019 20:32

OP I understand where you are coming from, I really wanted a home birth for my 3rd after a rapid easy birth with no2 which occurred within 20mins of getting to hospital -there were no interventions and would have been a lovely, less stressful home birth.

But DH preferred hospital, and I shared his concern that a minor issue could become a catastrophic one outside of hospital.

Dc3 was therefore born in hospital, also within 20mins of arriving. The delivery was tricky, she emerged with the cord tightly wound round her neck 3 times. She had to be resuscitated.

I cannot tell you how glad I am that we made it to hospital where the mw and doctors could work on her quickly and promptly under the ideal conditions of good lighting and all specialist equipment to hand. Meanwhile other staff were able to deal with the heavy bleeding I was experiencing (DC3 also managed to bring her hand down the birth canal alongside her face tearing me). We went from 2 mw in the room, to 6 or 7 people suddenly working on both of us, back down to 2 when the situation for both of us was very quickly stabilised.

My daughter is fine (perfect if you ask me!), her second lot of APGARS showed a rapid improvement from being completely flat. It is not a dramatic birth story because we were in hospital and everything that needed to be done was done immediately and efficiently.

I am so relieved that I did go to hospital in the end as any stretching out of that time without oxygen could have risked brain injury or cerebral palsy.

I’m no advocate for hospital birth. I think we women get a raw deal fro healthcare generally, however just like when you marry and you should plan for the marriage rather than the wedding, this (I think) is a time to plan as best you can for a healthy child rather than a birth experience.

RinkeyDinkey · 27/01/2019 20:34

Bloody hell! 😂😂 No wonder pissedoff is your name.

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 20:37

RinkeyDinkey it still smarts now haha. And i don't plan on anymore kids so my dreams of a water birth were firmly thwarted by DS 😂😂😂

AGirlinLondon · 27/01/2019 20:37

Another one here who never managed to get the pool unpacked!

Here’s a compromise for you - at our hospital you could put yourself down for a homebirth so that the attending midwives know to prepare for you, and change your mind up to the very last minute.

Do you know how your hospital runs home births? Mine was in ‘teams’ of midwives by postcode so I had met all of my community midwives - I would definitely have known the person who attended my birth at home which I really liked.

My midwives always said that complications are of course a risk in any labour but they tend to develop over time, and they are good at spotting them. I ended up with an emergency delivery (reduced movement, ended up with forceps in theatre, lost a ton of blood) so I didn’t get my homebirth out of necessity - but I certainly felt confident that my midwives would have done me proud at home.

Pissedoffdotcom · 27/01/2019 20:39

That's a good point actually. I stated homebirth from the start but i could have changed my mind at any point, literally up to the point it would have been unwise to travel

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