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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider having a home birth

294 replies

EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 13:42

DD is nearly 2 and we are TTC number 2.

With DD my labour was really quick - 4 hours from first twinges to birth. 90 minutes from waters breaking. We only just made it to the hospital in time and if it had been rush hour or roadworks I'm sure we wouldn't have got there in time. The car journey was by far the worst part of the whole thing.

As I have heard generally second babies are born quicker, I was considering that a home birth might be the way to go. However I have always thought there was no way a home birth would be for me. Am I mad to even consider it?

OP posts:
Mummyto2munchkins · 27/01/2019 14:03

I was in a very similar situation OP. First was quick labour and was told I wouldn't make it to the hospital for my second and to seriously think about a home birth. I was thinking 'nah ill make it I know what to look out for ill go as soon as the pain starts' I was a high risk pregnancy from previous complications in past pregnancy. I started getting pains, rang the hospital to say we are on the way. Turns out the labour was much quicker than I first though (all of 1 and a half hours start to finish!)
DP ended up calling an ambulance, first response paramedic delivered my son (on my bathroom floor) , ambulance and midwives turned up half an hour after that! Only complication was the umbilical cord was wrapped round his neck, but the paramedic cut his cord whilst I was pushing as she couldn't get it off easily. He's a very healthy, happy little 5 month old, and I did not require hospital after either.

Go with your gut.. If you don't think you'll make it and youre comfortable with a home birth, go for it. I didn't like the idea of one because of complications that could happen etc... But I'm so glad he was born at home now!
Good luck though :) you'll be grand whatever you decide, only you know what's best.

Trampire · 27/01/2019 14:03

Go for it.

I planned a homebirth for my first. The MWs were very encouraging. I ended up at the hospital (not blue lit) for meconium in my waters. The baby's heart beat was fine throughout however.
I ended up with a cascade of intervention and a 3rd degree tear.

They didn't recommend my second baby at home. However I ended up having the easiest, quickest birth (40 mins from first contraction to holding the baby). I wish I'd had him at home.

I know plenty of people who've had great homebirths.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 14:04

In hospital I had one frazzled midwife who was trying to look after multiple other labouring women

And a whole hospital full of other staff on the other side of the door should you crash, haemorrhage, require emergency surgery etc. Right there at the touch of a button. Not an hours drive away depending on when the ambulance can get to you and get you to the hospital.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 27/01/2019 14:04

DS1 was born in 40 minutes, but he would have died if we’d not been in hospital! So DS2 I had a c section (other reasons too). DC3 id love a home birth in theory but no way I’d risk it with my history, if I’d even be allowed!

Original poster
EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 14:05

Incidentally if I chose not to have a home birth the midwives would probably suggest the birth centre rather than hospital, which is actually further from the hospital than my house and also wouldn't have facilities for c sections etc. So if something serious occurred I would have to be blue lighted from there, same as I would from home.

OP posts:
BendydickCuminsnatch · 27/01/2019 14:05

And a whole hospital full of other staff on the other side of the door should you crash, haemorrhage, require emergency surgery etc

Yes with DC1 it was like a whole team of about 20 people came out of the walls all at once when I needed them! So amazing. Thank goodness!

Seline · 27/01/2019 14:06

Birth centres are the most pointless things, might as well be at home. If the choice is between the two I'd say home.

Slothcuddles · 27/01/2019 14:06

I was from first twinege to delivery- 3 hours on dc1 and 1 hour 30 on dc2. I wanted a home birth for dc2, how ever dp wouldn’t let me. He was prettified that something may go wrong, even though I had a textbook first birth. I know it was ‘both’ our decision. But I know if I pushed for a home birth, he would not have relaxed at all. As it was, if I had gone for a homebirth, I may not have ended up with a midwife as he came so fast. Although the midwifes got to my room on the emergency buzzer just as he crowned🤷🏻‍♀️So almost missed him anyway!

So no I don’t think you are crazy for wanting one, what is your dp’s thoughts on it?

Seline · 27/01/2019 14:07

Yes with DC1 it was like a whole team of about 20 people came out of the walls all at once when I needed them! So amazing. Thank goodness!

This was my experience too. Once they realised (which is a different issue) I had medics appearing from nowhere.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 14:08

I knew someone would say you were mad, not paying any attention to the actual evidence.

You can throw all the statistics you like at it. But OP isn’t a statistic, she is a human life and her baby will be a human life too. Those statistics will be no comfort at all to anyone who loses a baby/wife/mother at home due to something that could easily be dealt with in hospital. Those isn’t like choosing which savings bond to put your money in. It’s not the same kind of risk.

MyBreadIsEggy · 27/01/2019 14:08

ILove and thechances of those things happening are actually pretty slim.
Look at the statistics.
Childbirth in general is not a major medical emergency - it’s a normal, bodily function. Yes, sometimes things do go wrong and it turns into an emergency, but those cases are the minority, not the majority. And when that does happen, there is usually other risk factors at play too.
In a normal, uncomplicated, low risk pregnancy, childbirth is not inherently dangerous.

AmazingGrace16 · 27/01/2019 14:08

I was high risk and had a home birth. It was perfect.

The term high and low risk is misleading. You need to research what your individual risk factors are to you and the subsequent probability of it impacting birth.
For example some of my factors:
Large baby. Ok but doing the research showed the probability of shoulder dystocia was lower because I didn't have GD, would be mobile etc. Actual risk 0.06%.
That risk would've been higher in hospital as my anxiety over medical intervention would've slowed my labour down.

I would absolutely birth at home again and I had 4 factors which on paper said I was high risk. 3 of them had no bearing on birth at all and the fourth was large baby.

They wanted to induce me at 37 weeks. I went to almost 43 weeks and no complications at all.
Now if risk factors arose that gave me any medical concerns then I would've re-evaluated.

Original poster
EmUntitled · 27/01/2019 14:10

@slothcuddles
That's a good point about my husband. I have only just started thinking about it myself so we haven't really had a conversation about it. I think he would want to talk to the midwife etc. about it all in detail.

I know he found it very stressful driving me to the hospital while in active labour and he almost missed the birth trying to park the car, so I think he would be keen to avoid those eventualities.

OP posts:
Seline · 27/01/2019 14:11

People always think the high risk cases don't happen or won't happen to them. I was high risk because it was a multiple pregnancy but otherwise I was a healthy woman mid twenties, no high blood pressure, low BMI.

Still didn't save me from the total placental abruption that nearly killed us. Even the midwives didnt notice as they disnt expect it to happen. Thankfully I was already in hospital otherwise DD would have died and likely me too.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 14:11

Yes with DC1 it was like a whole team of about 20 people came out of the walls all at once when I needed them! So amazing. Thank goodness!

Yes this was my experience with DC2. He stopped breathing when he was born and the midwife pushed a button and they were there. DC1 was a brilliant textbook birth. There is literally no telling what will happen with each birth.

AmazingGrace16 · 27/01/2019 14:11

It's also worth noting that the chances of things going wrong with no warning whatsoever are minimal. There will be signifiers that mws are trained to look out for. They won't keep you at home if there are any red flags.
You also have 2 midwives focussed solely on you at home. You're not guaranteed that in hospital

MyBreadIsEggy · 27/01/2019 14:12

Em my husband was reluctant when I first talked about home birth for DC2.
But in the end, he delivered DS, under the watchful eye of our amazing midwife.
When we found out we are expecting DC3 he said “we will be having this one at home too I presume?” Grin
He realised that our hospital birth, while not a medical emergency, was a stressful, terrifying horror show compared to the home birth.

Seline · 27/01/2019 14:13

and thechances of those things happening are actually pretty slim.

Which is of absolutely zero significance when your baby is lying motionless on a vent having been starved of oxygen and you're being told they don't know if she'll wake up.

It's rare but it happens and it's hell. I wouldn't want anyone to experience that.

O4FS · 27/01/2019 14:13

But generally you know before you go into labour if your PG is considered high risk, and that being the case, you wouldn’t consider a HB?

Slothcuddles · 27/01/2019 14:14

We were lucky as when we arrived there weren’t any parking places but there was a parking attendant near by, he seen me get out and hold on to the car contracting, and just pointed to the grass and said ‘don’t worry park there and good luck!’

Seline · 27/01/2019 14:14

Even if you're not high risk something can suddenly change. My first was low risk and was still born blue in distress. For no apparent reason.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 14:14

Everyone’s talking about high risk. Things go wrong with what we’re abolutely perfect low risk pregnancies in the blink of an eye. You just cannot predict it.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 27/01/2019 14:15

I really wish the people who are against home birth would go away with their scaremongering. No one intentionally puts their child at risk, but nothing is risk free, not even birthing in hospital.

HenweeArcher · 27/01/2019 14:15

You can’t compare oranges with apples. Those that say ‘I was rushed into emergency surgery within 5 minutes’ were in hospital already with midwives and possibly doctors monitoring them, who in all likelihood were already aware of a concern. If we had those concerns at home, you would be transferred into the hospital and in the right place to deliver your baby before the crash call.

I booked a homebirth with my first. Made the joint decision with my midwife that I needed to transfer to hospital about 21 hours after my waters broke (various reasons). Ended up having an emergency c section about 14 hours later. Don’t regret a thing. I’m a little disappointed that I won’t ever get to experience a homebirth now (wouldn’t go for a home VBAC and DS will probably be an only child anyway) but we had the right birth for us.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 27/01/2019 14:17

I really wish the people who are against home birth would go away with their scaremongering.

So in other words only comment if you think OP should have a home birth. Hmm

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