To go back to this house?

[trapped2019]

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

U ok hun?

All I've concluded from this post is that OP and her DH thoroughly deserve each other. Better they inflict their histrionics and stubbornness on each other rather than other more reasonable people. Concerned about the potential offspring though with that combination.

Live in a shitty house, move to a shitty house. It's your life, who really gives a crap? People have given you advice that you have pretty much ignored. Crack on.

Renting is dead money

Only as dead as mortgage interest repayments.

Renting will give you breathing space to find the right house so you only have to do this once. Buy rashly and you’ll be moving again with all the associated legal costs.

God this thread has reminded me of why I hated working in conveyancing so much.

I bought a a house with no kitchen and the mortgage lender didn't bat an eyelid. misses point

No dogshit or slightly scratched collapsed floor though, sorry

It’s utterly bizarre you would want to move into a house where the old owner has ripped out the kitchen (I imagine without much care) ruined the floor and I imagine ruined all the decoration/fittings and fixtures. Why on earth would you consider still going through with the sale let alone fuck some new buyers over to continue with the sale

Your behaviour is just utterly bizarre!
I think you need to calm the fuck down and start to consider things before reacting.

Obviously you should have pulled out, any sane person would have.
You cannot go back cap in hand for the house again, not only is that a really stupid thing to do financially (you’re going to spend a hell of a lot extra putting in a whole new kitchen/floor) it’s an awful thing to do morally.
What’s to say the owner won’t rip out the carpets, bathroom any built in wardrobes, sheds, decking, etc etc?

The last move we did was absolutely awful, everything that could go wrong did. The old owners were a nightmare, our solicitor was beyond awful! The sale was on and off at least three times, we couldn’t time all the sales because our solicitor was so awful so we ended up homeless for a few weeks not knowing if the sale would actually go through or would the old owners throw a shit fit again, the estate agents were involved the whole way through phoning every day seeing what new updates there were and asking random questions that should’ve been put through to our solicitor but she wouldn’t answer the phone to them, The movers fucked us over big style, there is much more work here than the surveyors picked up mainly because the old owner followed the surveyor around for three days like a fucking shadow and the surveyor felt intimidated. It was a case of us pretty much having to move here or honestly we would’ve given up with the whole purchase. A house move is stressful enough, it’s really important to know when to back out to protect your mental health. I would never go through another move like our last one, no house is worth the awful time we had. You need to keep your sanity in check and know when to walk away, I really think it would be good for you to keep that in mind.

Firstly your dh doesn't sound as if he is being supportive. Surely the pulling out was a joint decision so I can't see why he's not talking to you. But if he allowed you to make the decision on your own then there's no reason for you not to make a renting decision on your own!

Secondly, don't lose your buyers. With the uncertainty over what will happen post-Brexit I would complete immediately, put your stuff into storage and then rent at leisure. If you lose your buyers, who's to say you will find another who will pay the price you want? Tbh the area sounds dreadful and even getting one buyer sounds fortuitous.

Thirdly, your mental health sounds less than ok. Probably due to where you live and a less than perfect husband, although he may be unsure of how to treat your stress/anxiety. This is why you need to leave now. If your health depends on it, renting is not dead money. I have no idea where you live but e.g. £10 - 15k for 6 months to a year's rent sounds just the ticket. I think your attitude and mood will improve drastically. Forget ttc until you are settled in your new house.

Fourthly, if the sale of the dream house falls through by all means make another offer although I would seriously think about dealing with someone you have strong negative feelings about. Remember not to make any more rash decisions, talk through stuff with your dh first and get a new solicitor.

Bloody hell ...somebody ring Kirsty and Phil!

The new buyers have bought it, kitchen or not.

You can't go back now.

@LadyOfTheCanyon has beautifully articulated the things I was wondering too

I fear the OP is incapable of supplying a satisfyingly descriptive explanation though

I don't think OP's coming back...

"Am I the only person who wants to know about the quantity of dog shit?"

Absolutely not-far outweighs kitchens/appliances & floors imo.

trapped2019, I am sorry that vendor was shady, and tried to pull one over on you. Good thing that you went over when you did.

How do you come to this conclusion then?

Ms Chook, puts it over overall very well. OP you've got all the different opinions coming at you, expect your head is spinning. If you decide to stay where you are (because you've not got much time to make a decision presumably until tomorrow?) and lose buyer, just be patient. It will work out another time, and learn from it. Does your husband usually leave you to make such major decisions? Because it is a major decision (especially as you sound so desperate and time is of the essence) not just a 'what would you like for supper'? Type of decision. OP is caught between a rock and a hard place if her husband won't rent, which is what most would do. Perhaps you should let him have it his way. Will he be happy with that?

OP, forget about the original house. If I were the vendor, no way would I entertain a call from you. That ship has sailed.

You have 2 choices. Either stay in the smackhead street until something more suitable comes along. Or rent in a better area until a house comes up to buy.

That's it. Option a or b, there isn't some magic solution here. House buying is hard, it will never be plain sailing, there will be always be set backs, people are bastards.

Quit whinging and deal with it like a grown up.

Oh and get a new solicitor if she's so useless.

Ms Chook, just re read your post - the only thing is with OP going ahead with the renting is he could put obstacles in the way, like refuse to sign up for said rented place, or stop the sale going ahead. Probably the only thing he'll bother doing. Good idea though, and hopefully with all our ideas, will help OP make a decision.

Just RTFT

In the nicest possible way, OP YABVU.

Renting is not dead money if it allows you to move to a different area for a bit and do some research, instead of living in your undesirable area.

You weren't "shafted," it was your own decision. Own it.

Why is your DH seemingly so inflexible and why can't you have a conversation without shouting at each other?

You are upset because you want an imaginary dream home which at first you thought you were buying. Sadly the reality was different. You need to change your thinking. Be grateful that your instincts stopped you buying a lemon. If he's doing odd things like that imagine what other horrors were lurking. You are effectively mourning something that didn't exist. Agree with everyone who has said leaflet. If your OH won't deal with this you'll have to. Can you rent something smaller? How does rent compare to mortgage payments? Sell it to your OH as the dream scenario. Sell before brexit, buy immediately afterwards. To me that would seem financially prudent and a few months in rented while you wait to move is entirely different to being stuck there long term

OP you really need to let this house go, you don’t trust the vendor and some on else is now in the process of buying the house.

If the kitchen floor has really collapsed due to some kitchen cabinets being removed then did this not show up on your survey? It sounds like there are serious structural issues with the house.

You also seem a little muddled about the process. Maybe read up on it - just so you know what the terms mean and what your legal position is at each stage.

You have told us you have considerable savings - another house will come up and I am sure you are in a good position to jump at it.

It's worth going back and asking. We ended up selling our house to a buyer who had previously pulled out. If you don't ask you won't get.

We were in a very similar position, without the savings and without many options. We found a house, literally the only house we could afford tat was big enough for our growing family. Not perfect, not in our chosen area, about 10 miles away. The owner had been trying to sell it for awhile, having asked roo much for it initially. We had an offer accepted 15% under the asking price which she clearly could never get over. We were the only people to offer as we saw the potential (no kerb appeal but great space inside, which was more important to us with the children). she was rude and obstructive throughout and was described by the estate agent as "a nightmare seller".

To cut a long story short, when we got the keys (having been refused any visits after initial viewing) there was dog shit all over the floors downstairs and in the garden (done deliberately as she was annoyed we wouldn't buy her hideous stuff), she'd taken every light fitting and left the hideous green velvet curtains we'd said we didnt want at all the downstairs windows.

No biggie. We had anticipated having to do a good clean, as I would when moving into any house that has been occupied by other people, especially one with lots of dogs (I'd already bought a steam cleaner for this purpose) so had arranged to stay in our rental house for an overlapping week (that we moved into to get out of the hosue we hated). I hired a professional cleaner for a couple of hundred quid to go in and do the first pass which I couldn't face. We then spent 5 days with the steam cleaner (off work, using up A/L, paying for extra childcare for the kids) and then painting the most heavily stained areas (she had left candes burning everywhere against the walls subsequent to our first visit). We went to B&Q and bought new light fittings, took an hour or so to out them in and cost about 40 quid, they are not expensive (we would have been buying new shades etc anyway). Ripped down the hideous curtains and dunped them at the local dump, put our own temporary ones up and then ordered the shutters we had been planning to put in anyway.

Within a week we were in our new, spacious, comfortable home. 8 years later and we've been very happy here Ok, it cost us some money to move in and get it ship shape, we "wasted" some money on rent, but in the intervening years house prices have shot up in this area and the equity is far, far, far more than we spent.

OP grow up, grit your teeth and recognize that moving house and making a home for your family requires a bit of effort and money on your part. You dont just get handed a perfect house on a plate ready to move into.

If you are so desperate to move I don’t really understand why you backed out in the first place.

The English property system is so cruel. In Scotland, when you’ve accepted an offer on a house you can’t back out and accept an offer from somewhere else!

I think the seller is likely to tell you to jog on if you go back to him - he will be (rightly) scared that you will see something better and pull out again.

I would keep looking - the right house will come up. You maybe just need to be more flexible about your requirements.

If the kitchen floor has really collapsed due to some kitchen cabinets being removed then did this not show up on your survey?

The vendor had not ripped out the kitchen.

He had very simply taken a couple of doors off to remove the inbuilt appliances - the floor may have been scuffed in the process.

Most likely explanation is that vendor was removing high end appliances and replacing with standard/second hand.

The was possibly dog shit on the kitchen floor - we have not established the quantity of said shit or any smearing.

He did this whilst it was his own property, before exchange, so had plenty of time to replace the appliances, screw on a couple of doors and clean the kitchen floor.

He either did this on a day when he knew OP was coming to "measure up" and therefore very openly or

OP dropped round unexpectedly, and with astonishing entitlement, to measure up a house she had not even exchanged on.

She then jumped to conclusions and, despite her own full survey giving no contra-indications, withdrew from the purchase a days before the exchange.

Left high and dry vendor understandably re-listed house and it's now sold to someone else, possibly more cheaply, to get a quick sale due to the screwover, possibly not - OP has not clarified this.

I'm still intrigued as to what OP thought would happen when she pulled out of the sale.

Calpop, pleased it all worked out for you and what a nasty piece of work the vendor was. Noticeable in your post, I realise not deliberate, as it was natural and well written, is you often used the word 'we'. I think this is the key point here.