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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

394 replies

PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 20:42

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:31

As for the walking slowly or whatever, and the complaint about the triple buggy, tuff shit, the woman is earning a living and you are all bitching about her being in your way.

I don’t do drop off, so it doesn’t affect me. She can walk them in on her hands dressed as a Dolly Parton if she wants to.

I am angry because one had yet another evening stolen due to having to try and calm down the club owners, angry parents who are late to work when she blocks them into the car park and generally having people complain to me about her!

The concert stuff I’m annoyed with, because I was there and I saw how much it disrupted other people who just wanted to see their children in shows.

And when her minded 2 year old wanders out the front door onto the road during a disco and their parent starts shouting about it being the PTA’s fault all over social media, it makes me fucking angry, yes.

OP posts:
EwItsAHooman · 25/01/2019 21:32

Not quite true. Childminders insurance policies will dictate how many over 8s a childminder can look after in total.

My insurance never had a number, just said along the lines of "as agreed with Ofsted" (can't remember the exact wording without getting my old files out of the loft!)

Lovestonap · 25/01/2019 21:32

You sound like you'd prefer parents and children not to be around at all, maybe they should just show up, bung the PTA a tenner and leave?

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:32

To be clear, only the caretaker is on site during discos. No teaching staff. So parents of infant children have to be on hand. Some of them are only 3.

OP posts:
Lovestonap · 25/01/2019 21:33

Was it Miss Trunchbull who said her perfect school would be one without children? Wink

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:33

You sound like you'd prefer parents and children not to be around at all, maybe they should just show up, bung the PTA a tenner and leave?

Not at all. It’s a lovely community atmosphere when (the majority of) parents and grandparents join in.

OP posts:
Jakeyboy1 · 25/01/2019 21:33

The parents who complain about that when their child is in her control must be stupid quite frankly.

Close the car park and let it be known why!

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:33

And it’s lovely to see the children so proud at the shows.

OP posts:
Passing4Human · 25/01/2019 21:35

You're coming across a wee bit scary OP. You're all "oh gosh" one minute and then swearing like an angry pirate the next. I think this woman and her disorganised poo bags have maybe taken you to a dark place.

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:36

Close the car park and let it be known why!

That’s where I’m getting to.

It’s been a long 4 years so far. DD has 3.5 years left. If any of the PTA members stand down it will fold. We provide a lot for the children and act as community liaison (the car park is just an example). I can easily do 20 hours a week or PTA stuff during December. And I genuinely don’t mind. But I can’t bear people taking the piss or disrupting other people to the point that they’re all complaining to me!

OP posts:
Smoggle · 25/01/2019 21:36

If none of it is bad enough for the school to intervene then I doubt it's much of an issue.
If other parents bitch to you then just tell them it's nothing to do with you.

If you are in charge of the car park and her parking is causing an issue, then maybe go and speak to her about that.

Drogosnextwife · 25/01/2019 21:37

I am angry because one had yet another evening stolen due to having to try and calm down the club owners, angry parents who are late to work when she blocks them into the car park and generally having people complain to me about her!

Sorry are you the head teacher?

Fraying · 25/01/2019 21:38

You have a lot of issues with her. Direct the people that are complaining to speak to her directly because either they're annoyed enough to do that or they're just the sort of people who moan to others but actually wouldn't be that unreasonable in person. I don't understand why the club owners care, either you have the right to use the car park or you don't.
And as for a 2-yr-old getting outside at a school event, I would raise an eyebrow at door security being that lax. At our school and nursery events, a child would have to pass through two doors and at least two supervising adults before they'd get outside.

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:39

I have spoken to her. She used to do it before she bought the minibus but her SUV just made it difficult for people to get out. Now it’s near impossible pretty much every day (her eldest has just turned 8 so I guess she’s increased her numbers accordingly).

I’ve told the club that if they see it again (or any other selfish/dangerous parking) they should just lock the gates for a week and let them make their own arrangements. I don’t know what would happen to the lollipop lady then though.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:40

Sorry are you the head teacher?

No! But when I’ve spoken to the (new-ish) headteacher he says he doesn’t have responsibility for parent behaviour on a site not owned by the school.

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 25/01/2019 21:40

I would say the 2 year old getting out the school door is a big issue for the school, a child of 2 should not be able to exit a school alone. How on earth did they get through the doors?

Original poster
PoutySprout · 25/01/2019 21:41

And as for a 2-yr-old getting outside at a school event, I would raise an eyebrow at door security being that lax. At our school and nursery events, a child would have to pass through two doors and at least two supervising adults before they'd get outside.

Great. There are usually 3 of us running a disco for around 100 kids. I’ll just stick 2 on the door though. The outer door is open so that people can get in. (School secretary leaves at 3:30pm sharp so nobody to buzz parents in after that).

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 25/01/2019 21:43

I genuinely can’t believe a busy body from the PTA has so much to do with this whole thing? Exactly why many people don’t get involved! Way above your own station Op.

LynetteScavo · 25/01/2019 21:43

This woman sounds annoying....whether she's a childminder, or they are her own children she shouldn't be letting them run around wrecking things and making a disturbance (the snack thing I think you need to over look) The parking is also annoying and inconsiderate.

So you or someone need to speak to her. I'm sure people who she parks in don't keep quiet. I also expect people on the path can say excuse me.

But I don't think people are complaining to you with an expectation you will address her behaviour...I think they're just enjoying having a bit of a bitch.

TBH I'd stop paying for the carpark if it's causing this much hassle.

Dollymixture22 · 25/01/2019 21:43

If a two year old in her care wander out onto a road thempn this does need to be reported. If a child is in apdanger and not being cared for properly then it should be reported to social services.

Did you witness his?

fruityb · 25/01/2019 21:44

Wow... you really don’t like this woman do you!!

And are all PTAs this terrifying? When my son starts school I’ll steer clear....

EwItsAHooman · 25/01/2019 21:45

I don't believe the 2yo did wander off or else you'd have put it in your OP, I call bullshit on that actually happening and think it was an embellished drip-feed when you saw that most people were disagreeing with you.

GetKnitted · 25/01/2019 21:45

YANBU!!!

anotherwearytraveller · 25/01/2019 21:47

You are the reason I avoid PTS events
The drama!

It’s an infant disco
If it causes you that must angst and ‘wasted evenings’ then ooh you know- don’t do it!

Being all irritated because some poor parent chooses to bring a few snacks rather than donate a kidney to get a bagged up selection of Costco hairibos is a bit much tbh OP and I’d suggest you do your blood pressure a favour and stand down from your role.

Evilspiritgin · 25/01/2019 21:48

Oh god she sounds a right pain in the arse, I’m sorry leaving shitty nappy’s in a bag under a chair is disgusting