To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

[PoutySprout]

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

In our school you have to buy a ticket for everyone who enters the door- even a newborn in a car seat would require one. It’s to do with fire regulations and maximum numbers allowed in the Hall, perhaps you could run a similar system.

School sell the tickets. They sell say 120 tickets and that’s how many chairs get out out. But if people take up extra seats by bringing younger children, adults end up standing. Which can then impact on fire lanes (is that the right word) because they often stand in front of the fire doors (where she usually puts the pushchair)

Don’t*

I think lock the car park or tell them to complain to the head as there’s nothing you can do as this woman refuses to park considerately

So discos are organised which 100 children want to attend but only three parents bother to support by staying.

No. There will be 3 PTA volunteers there running the event. If infant children want to attend (there is a separate disco for juniors, who can be left) there has to be an adult supervising them. Either their parent or someone else’s parents. The PTA volunteers are not responsible for any children other than our own. So there can be 50 parents at an infant disco. But I wouldn’t imagine any of them consider themselves responsible for CF’s minded children!

You need to address this because you AREN’T and it’s not helpful to behave as though you are.

It’s a small school and I’ve been there a lot over the years. We try to work in partnership with the school, because why wouldn’t we. But yes, I’m not responsible.

Jeepers you are vigilant OP. If you manage the PTA like you do this thread then it is a tight ship. You are replying in careful detail to almost every post. Which is lovely but hard work!

When I queried people shouting it was when you said people blamed the PTA for getting held up. You must know logically that it isn’t your organisation.

The ten minute drop off window again isn’t your issue. That is the school who decide that I imagine.

Look, I would roll my eyes at this lady and seethe while dragging my own children behind me to Chuck then in the door. I have done it. Not in a bazillion years would I consider tweeting the lovely woman who runs the PTA about it. She organises healthy tuck and fund raises for play equipment. She helps enrich the basic education of my children. She is an asset to the school and wider community. But she is not responsible for every issue which occurs which annoys me.

And neither are you

Thanks.

I think you're embellishing too OP to fight your corner when the majority of people dont agree with you. If my 2yr old got out of a building when she was in the care of a childminder, whether I thought the PTA were minding the doors, I would without a doubt not be using that childminder.

I'm on the PTA at 2 schools and its bloody hard work telling everyone its not a bitchu clique of women with too much time on their hands, judging everyone else for working / not working / parenting / not parenting. And then you read threads like this and realise you're back at Square 1

If my 2yr old got out of a building when she was in the care of a childminder, whether I thought the PTA were minding the doors, I would without a doubt not be using that childminder.

Why would you expect me to know what happened next? Could be the parent did stop using her. Maybe they sued her. I didn’t witness it fully, I wasn’t responsible for the child but I had to firefight bloody horrible posts all over social media for several weeks. I know the head spoke to the childminder, but I don’t -and rightly so- know what was said or agreed with her.

Children holding hands and walking to school doesn't sound out of control to me. It sounds a sensible way of keeping them together so she knows where they are.

Parents like this, who nitpick and find fault at every opportunity, are the bane of a childminder's life. I'm not talking about you, Op, I'm talking about the moaners who are holding you both responsible for their lateness to work - their timekeeping is so down to the bone that children walking to school is making them late?

Start pushing back. Most of this stuff is not your concern, so direct them to the lady herself or to the Head (I suspect they've already got short shrift from him and that's why you're copping it now).

Look only at what you're really responsible for and take the personal angle out of it. Just address the behaviour and tell her what you want her to do. If that doesn't work, ask her why she can't do it - there may be a safety reason you haven't realised.

I'm on the PTA at 2 schools and its bloody hard work telling everyone its not a bitchu clique of women with too much time on their hands, judging everyone else for working / not working / parenting / not parenting. And then you read threads like this and realise you're back at Square 1 confused

WTF? I’m reacting to other parents complaining to me about a parent and now I have too much time on my hands? I work full time in a demanding job, run a company, try to spend time with my child and manage the PTA. I barely manage 7 hours sleep a night so fuck off with your too much time theory. I have had about 6 photos of her parking sent to me this week by the club and other parents. They’ve spoken to the head who says the contract to use the club is with the PTA, not the school. So they’ve come to me. That’s not my idea of a fun Friday evening, to be honest!

Goodness only knows why she parks across the car park entrance, but if she actually parked in a space, she would take up less room than if each parent of the children in her care came and parked.

Our school had a maximum number of tickets per family per show. I did take mindees to shows, but only if I knew they would sit quietly (apart from the one who jumped up and waved to my DD - like any younger sibling might). If she's leaving rubbish and letting the children run riot then she should be asked to leave, like any other parent would. The head needs to make an announcement about no parents recording if that is the rule - and again she can be asked to leave if she records on her iPad.

Not bothered about the walking slowly at all. I'm sure there are other people who walk slowly.

I think signposting where genuine grievances can be aired rather than setting yourself up as a go between is more professional.

Yes. You could be right.

She would struggle at my daughters school. Not for everything, but for things such as the Christmas play there is an allocation of 3 per child. After a set date, you can buy extra tickets if they are available. Tickets are £2 each and everyone including babies must have a ticket. It means they don't exceed the number of people it is safe to have in the hall at one time.
It doesn't sound as if she is fully in control of them all, which would be my concern.

I’m a PTA busy body. From time to time parents approach me to discuss school issues. I tell them it’s not a PTA issue and suggest they take it up with school.

Parking. Not a PTA issue.
Pavements. Not a PTA issue.
Filming performances. Not a PTA issue.
Minded children attending school performances. Not a PTA issue.

Don’t engage with the complainers.

I hope the parent of he lost toddler was given the full story. It seems odd he blamed the school (where his child wasn’t even a pupil surely) rather than the person he was paying to look after his child.

Actually OP, I dont need to know your life story. Great that you volunteer etc etc but you accept that the other PTA members are all complaining about this women, your posts have been very judgmental about her parenting abilities (which you also accept you haven't seen first hand in some instances because you dont do drop off) which reinforces the stereotype that most people have about PTAs.

Goodness only knows why she parks across the car park entrance, but if she actually parked in a space, she would take up less room than if each parent of the children in her care came and parked.

I’ve attached a photo of the layout at the front of the club. She tends to park in one of the positions I’ve drawn in yellow, overhanging either the entrance or exit to varying degrees. It’s probably because the front is level with the road and so she can just drive forwards onto it and then get the kids across the road.

Filming performances. Not a PTA issue

The PTA films performances and sells DVDs.

It’s a pity you don’t know any traffic wardens a couple of tickets will stop her parking stupidly

judgmental about her parenting abilities (which you also accept you haven't seen first hand in some instances because you dont do drop off)

I’m not sure I have. Apart from the leaving shitty nappies under seats for everyone to enjoy for an hour’s performance, seeing the state of the tree and watching a show through her held aloft iPad which I did witness. Hard to ask her to leave when she’s sat front and centre about 4ft from the front of the stage!

You’re quite erm..assertive with people on here when they question you or query you. I wonder if that’s why the other parents are complaining to you, they want you to deal with it.

She sounds annoying and rude in places. Most of the complaints are unfounded and ridiculous. Deal with the actual issues and please do not comment on her walking slowly!

It’s a pity you don’t know any traffic wardens a couple of tickets will stop her parking stupidly

I did send a WhatsApp earlier asking if we should fundraise for a traffic warden/parking attendant yet!