To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

[PoutySprout]

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

I would hate to have to get clamber out of my seat in the middle of the play and potential miss my kid's one line to sort out these problems for her.

You’ve just reminded me of almost missing my DD’s sprint at sports day because a resident in a local street came to complain about being blocked in by....... you guessed it. CF CM. I watched the race, watched them out of their driveway and then asked the head to put a call out. She did manage to leave the minded kids to move it then. Not sure how as it didn’t occur to me to be bothered about how she conducts her business.

(The school staff were down on the sports field. The PTA had a stall next to the school before anyone gets arsey.)

I think someone's already pretty arsey

I’d say 95% of parents buy a DVD, which they order at the shows. So if parents aren’t coming to watch for any reason, it’s a very small number. I think most manage to make at least one (the older children do some evening shows to make it more accessible for working parents).

Yes, I appreciate that it's probably a small number.

Do you know what joan yes I am. Because having my every sentence dissected and questioned to the nth degree on here is nearly as fucking painful as dealing with the angry parents.

And I don’t actually owe you anything.

joanmcc is it you? Because you seem to be intentionally taking everything the OP writes the wrong way.

It's not having everything dissected, is it? Imagine trying to earn a living as a childminder with the PTA cabal bitching about you?

Imagine trying to ask for advice without being hung drawn and quartered by people who don’t read properly.

Whoops, *it's not nice. Imagine the fit if the ghastly childminder made a typo like that?

She’s an ex secondary school teacher. A grown up.

The PTA aren’t bitching about her. It’s THE PARENTS SHE INCONVENIENCES that are complaining about her behaviour.

PoutySprout If these reactions are similar to what you get from the parents from school, you really need to knock it on the head. It’s getting ridiculous. People thinking you are acting like you run the school and, therefore, are being uppity. Other people think you can solve any problem they have at school, like you do run it!

joanmcc Why are you giving the OP such a hard time? Do you think blocking 40 people in daily isn’t a big deal, or do you think we should all enjoy the smell of dirty nappies?

My views are:

1. Parking inconsiderately - remove those parking space from use. Either put up notices that these are not for parents/school use, cone off or both! Can add anyone parking without permission/permit will be clamped & fined. Could send letter out to all parents giving notice first.
2. 1 ticket per seat - no seat no entry to events.
3. Buggies obstructing fire exits, notice to all that fire exits/outer must be kept free at all times & police this. Ask anyone obstructing to move their buggy. Better still have a no buggies inside policy & a buggy parking area designated.

Good luck.
PTA chairing is hard & thankless, all the best!

• routes not outer!

Imagine trying to earn a living as a childminder with the PTA cabal bitching about you

Then don't piss off the people who would be using your services by parking them in etc.

Here's what I don't get. Childminding is her job, yes? So she's essentially bringing her work to her child's school performance. Not siblings, or family, children she looks after for a living.

If your child is in a school performance, and you're working at the time, you either a) take time off or b) don't go. You don't turn up anyway bringing half your office to sit in the front row (if you did, hopefully they wouldn't leave shit under the seats!)

So why is this ok? Those comparing her to a parent with 5 kids makes no sense- they'd be there to see their sibling/s. These are unrelated children whose parents pay for them to be cared for, not bored at some other kids school play and running riot.

Sorry you are getting all this grief op! I thought you would get much more support from other mumsnetters.
I do think you are having to deal with many more issues than you should have to. It certainly looks like Head teacher is not giving you the support he should be, and is happy to let you deal with with many issues that really should be either his or school authorities responsibility.
This CF CM should be dealt with by the Head. He should personally be getting in touch with her over the car parking issues. Not good enough to say it’s nothing to do with him as PTA arranges it. You are facilitating the pupils getting safely to school and if car parking stopped he is going to have to deal with backlash over this.
As for allowing children in her care to destroy school property, he should write to her saying that she will be banned from attending school events if she cannot control children in her care, pointing out that new tree had to be purchased due to damage caused by said children.
The pushchair should not be allowed in aisles (as you say, it is a fire evacuation hazard).
Nothing can be done about her walking children slowly and if anyone complains to you, you should just say it’s nothing to do with you and they should speak to CM themselves if not happy.
She obviously has little control over these children, even losing a 2 year old, so is there not some authority you could report her to as not being competent (expect other posters will think this is terrible and feel sorry for CM) to look after all these children?
You have done a great job on PTA, but think that you are being expected to deal with things which should not be in your remit. Also, where are the other members of PTA while you are dealing with all these issues? They should be supporting you and helping out more. It is very unfair to expect you to sometimes put in 20 hours a week, as a volunteer.
It is only because of people like you that school events can be organised, so thank you for everything you do.

Here's what I don't get. Childminding is her job, yes? So she's essentially bringing her work to her child's school performance. Not siblings, or family, children she looks after for a living.

Childminders offer care in a domestic setting based around home life. They have to deliver the EYFS portion of the National Curriculum (in England) but they also do the day-to-day activities you would expect to see in a typical family home, this domesticity is part of the reason people choose childminders. It is very normal for a childminder to attend school events in place of the parents and for them to bring other mindees to school events, part of the curriculum is that early years children are prepared for school and one of the ways to prepare them is to get them accustomed to the routine of school and to the school environment (e.g., going on the school run each day, playing in the yard before/after school, going to school open days and events).

It is not the same as someone bringing their work to their child's performance or showing up with half of their office.

I used CM with my children and had no issue whatsoever with them taking them to school/nursery events. I did know it went on - CM like nurseries do actually have to keep a record of what they do with the children plus when they get old enough they can tell you anyway!

When people buy snacks at school functions, do they have to have a list of ingredients on whatever is being sold? If they do not, then parents/minders whose children have allergies have a right, surely, to bring something for them to eat?

Everything we sell is in a packet, so ingredients are listed. We have children at the school with nut, dairy and soya allergies, plus vegetarian children so ensure there is something suitable for them at every event.

This is the reason we don't have a PTA.. if the heads not bothered then don't worry about it.

Reading the comments about photos its different for every achool at our schook its didmfferent each year and parents are sent information each year prior to preformances aboit it. We are a small school 19 in a class whivh is 2 years together. If all parents have signed consent forms we can record plays, if 1 hasnt then they have a picture shooting opportunity to take pics of your own kids afterwards.

As for this childminder, if she is a parent whats the problem. That and the procedure she is using to get them into school sounds to me quite normal, if there is a road then a lot of nurserys, child minders and schools will lead them in pairs, foirs etc safely across, it makes drivers more aware and frankly around schools drivers shouldnt be too concerned about going at a reasonabke pace as opposed to a safe pace where all children are protected. Our school prevents access to their drive, 4 hoises also use the same drive that splits off, it doesnt seem to bother those neighbours that the school stop cars going up n down the drive while children are in movement. If one has to gain access during that time in emergency the staff on duty aid them to do so while protecting the kids. As for her mini bus, coming from a van owner (we have a wheelchair adapted van which is large) we do the same and are never met with any issues, we often block another parent in, sometimes we dont have a choice, we have never had an issue at the most one parent eho was in a hurry did ask to change places but never made an issue, they respect that we cant do much else and patking on the street to get the wheelchair out isnt an option, because its a back loader and it would rule out a parling spot for us and the one behind it for loading the wheelchair. The car park itself is actually the local community centre which doubles up as school patking buy still only has abouy 14 spaces.
Regarding the events and her tactics as a child minder her budget may be restricted for snacks, so buuing them at a venue may boy be an option, losing older kids is pretty nornal I have 1 and find it hard to keep tabs on him. Nappy bags are better off under seats as opposed to on them.

Another thread where OP asks “am I unreasonable?” Everyone says, “yes you are”. OP: “no, you silly people, I am not” Why ask then?

I don't agree with letting the children she minds run about pulling at Xmas trees etc but other than that I don't really see a problem. It's just a slight annoyance to you and those complaining, she isn't actually doing anything wrong. A word about the parking is probably the only thing you can do. And yes childminders do take the other children to school events, we have a lovely childminder at ds's school who brings her little steeds along. I think maybe you don't like her and are being super responsive to her behaviour. Not a criticism, just an observation. It happens to us all.

Another thread where OP asks “am I unreasonable?” Everyone says, “yes you are”. OP: “no, you silly people, I am not” Why ask then?

You may want to check the meaning of the word “everyone” in the dictionary.