To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

[PoutySprout]

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

I haven’t asked her directly, no. BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN HER OR HER PARKING.
In that case I'll repeat my earlier suggestion. If her parking is causing such an issue for you and your contract with the car park, ask her to park in the other space.

If it's not causing you such a problem that you actually want to ask her to park elsewhere, then let it go.

Exactly you’ve just listened to some bitching and judged her guilty as charged. Did you ask them if they’d asked her to do anything differently?

No. The club complained first. And sent photos from their CCTV of how she has been parking. Which I sent to the head who said it wasn’t his responsibility. So I met with the head who said because the PTA contracts the arrangement it was our issue to deal with. And so a text was sent out reminding parents to park considerately. And then parents have sent rants about it more recently.

zzzzz you’re kinda doing the same yourself. You’re judging that the OP is being bitchy, when I mainly think she sounds exasperated. The OP shouldn’t even have to ask ‘them’ if they’d asked the CM to anything differently. The OP isn’t there in the morning, she isn’t the head, or even staff. Some of these things should have been sorted by the adults in the vicinity, because, playing devil’s advocate, maybe the CM hasn’t realised she’s been so disruptive and a quiet word is all that is needed. If she does realise and just doesn’t care, then the school should deal with it.

*Why not ask her to park in that space then

Gosh. That hasn’t occurred to me.

Of course I fucking have.*
So wait, "of course you fucking have" asked her to park elsewhere, but actually you haven't asked her to at all

Smoggle I agree this part is confusing, but I think the OP means she asked head/school to text everyone about this issue before.

Beyond the complaints, the parking isn’t causing the OP problems, she doesn’t do the drop off. I don’t see how the OP can contact the CM if she’s not there in the mornings, as she, quite rightly, wont be privy to people’s contact info. The adults there in the morning need to handle this, or the school.

To be honest it sounds like the OP and her friends are annoyed by this dreadful woman and her awful habits, and annoyed that the Head won't take their side, but not actually annoyed enough to say anything to her (maybe because in reality they are all minor non-issues)

I think some of the complaints are valid and, therefore, not bitching. However, what do people expect the OP to do? Some people think she should butt out, even though the PTA are responsible for the parking arrangements. Some people think she should talk the CM, when she’s not even there in the morning.

Does the head know how many complaints you are handling?

I had a good chat with him this morning and will be meeting with him later this week to discuss things.

To be honest it sounds like the OP and her friends are annoyed by this dreadful woman and her awful habits, and annoyed that the Head won't take their side, but not actually annoyed enough to say anything to her (maybe because in reality they are all minor non-issues)

I’m sorry. Stinking out the hall with a shitty nappy is a minor issue? Losing a child is a minor issue? Blocking in/out maybe 40 other parents for significant time every morning is a minor issue? Wow.

I don’t know where you get that it’s anything to do with my friends, either. Other parents are complaining to me via the PTA’s Facebook page and twitter account. I am not standing around gossiping or feeding this at all.

The people that are messaging aren’t my friends.

She sounds like a right pain in the tits. Heaven forfend you could just come on here for a moan eh! In answer to your op Taking mindees to school events is ok. Disrupting them and acting like an arsehole isn’t. Why is she coming to so many things? Are her kids in them all?

But these issues are so minor that the school don't see a problem, you don't feel any need to ask her to park elsewhere, and no other parents are bothered enough to speak to her.

I don’t know what the school finds a problem. I know she was spoken to by the then head after the lost child incident but I rightfully know nothing of what was said or agreed.

She may have been spoken to about the nappy. Several parents were commenting on the smell around her so I’d be amazed if she didn’t realise it was a problem. I don’t know what has been said to her about parking. I’m dealing with that in an appropriate manner.

So please, get off my back now.

OP's getting a lot of stick. Surely the CM realises that by blocking the entire school car park first thing in the morning she's being a bloody pain in the ass. OP already said a general email went out telling people not to do it which CM has ignored. She really shouldn't need a personal announcement to stop parking like a dick.

Clearly the PTA events at OP's school the parents are meant to be responsible for their own children and the CM isn't being responsible if a two year old is roaming around alone outside. IN that situation other adults basically have to step in because the CM isn't doing her job. Having kids run riot at school plays climbing on stage etc is also pretty terrible behaviour and shows she's not properly looking after the kids and it clearly affects everyone else.

I'm sure alot of the commentors giving OP stick would be the first on Facebook moaning if they were late to work because some CF had blocked the entire school car park for 10 minutes.

I am grateful for folks like you who do the (very) time consuming work of PTA fundraising and all that goes with it. Some posts make me feel justified in steering clear of it on account of the politics!

You are getting an awful lot of flack. Your OP comes over slightly as a witchhunt, but I expect it’s more that you are exasperated and fed up dealing with the complaints rather than you have a personal vendetta against one woman.

I would suggest that every single complaint you receive about this or any other parent is sent directly to the school. It may not be their carpark or their agreement, but the cars are there on account of the school so it is very much the head’s concern.

In answer to your question, yes, sadly, lots of childminders do seem to have large numbers of children, and seem thinly spread in looking after them. They walk several children abreast along a narrow pavement and sometimes give the impression of herding cats, but I guess they are just trying to pay the bills. If you had a genuine concern for a child’s welfare you would have to report it to ofsted or tell the parent of the child.

My children go to a largeish school in a ‘naice’ area and parking is feral at school run times and plays with lots of disruptive toddlers in attendance are not unusual. The nappy left steaming under a chair is a bit grim but some people are staggeringly thoughtless.

Perhaps the best thing you can do for your sanity is stop fielding complaints and start giving out the school phone number and saying ‘don’t tell me - report it to the school’ as you are currently the postbox for all these school-related complaints which are nothing to do with a volunteer fundraiser. Good luck with your new playground - have a glass of wine and try and forget about Mrs Nappy and her CF parking. X

Not one parent / helper at the school play, seeing that she was managing 3 under 3s (and would have to take all 3 out to find a bin and bring all 3 back again) offered to take the nappy bag out for her, but were all quite happy to watch her leave it under a chair & about it later? Yes, OP, lovely school community you've got there.

And your timings dont quite stack up. She only registered as a childminder 18 months ago but also 18 months ago, she already had a gaggle of children at a school disco that she lost a 2yr old outside ?

Not one parent / helper at the school play, seeing that she was managing 3 under 3s
She's being paid to manage 3 under 3s! The rest of them were there to see their child in the school play. Why should they leave the play and miss part of it so they could help a paid professional do her job? I don't know about your school but mine certainly don't have helpers on hand roaming the audience during school plays to help people with dirty nappy bags!

I'm surprised at how this thread has gone, to be honest - I lean towards YANBU. She sounds really inconsiderate.

She completed her registration over the summer and started minding when the schools went back in September. The first disco that school year was in October which is when the child went missing. Sorry not to have given a police statement worthy account. I must add a clause about full disclosure on Mumsnet to our Constitution document.

I’m not sure what’s with all the vitriol. Largely, I don’t think YABU.