To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

[PoutySprout]

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

I know people can be pathetic @AmICrazyOr but I disagree - in that situation you just say briskly "nothing to do with me". She's a volunteer for a PTA, not in a customer service role for a Housing Association.

I think OP has either willingly or unwittingly assumed the mantle of person in charge and needs to step back and think whether the fact she's getting hassle is this person's behaviour or her own.

Bejam, I have international conference calls all the time. I'm not rich or powerful, I just have colleagues all over the place.

Granted that it sounded a bit 'off' and cringey but that was probably not the intention.

I will do. I’m going to enjoy my weekend first but a text will go out on Monday reminding parents of the parking rules, the risks of breaking them and the responsibilities of the PTA.

So unprofessional and overstepping the mark. Not your job. Let the head do it. You're abusing your position. You might be breaking the data protection act too as data can only be used for explicit and stated purposes. If you have access to a school contact list to update parents on fundraising, if you start using it to send out dictats you have no authority to make, you're abusing that information and your access to it. Especially as you're using it as a tool in your campaign of bullying too, to deal with things you've not even seen and don't know are true.

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

Yes, the OP is obviously seen as someone who can "sort things out" and she needs to decide how she can draw some boundaries. I actually think her plan to send a text emphasising the PTA's responsibilities isn't a bad one.

Perhaps she's just a capable person whom people turn to when they want something doing. It can be a double-edged sword!

Oh do fuck off Bejam.

Blindly. PTA nazi. I bet you all have a good bitch about her.

FFS Bejam. I don’t have access to the text system. THE HEAD IS SENDING THE TEXT.

The school doesn’t collect email addresses from parents.

And the DPA was replaced by GDPR in May 2018. Do keep up, dear.

Wow, some people really hate PTA's!

I'm grateful that people step up and do the work...volunteering for committees can be a huge pain but they get things done.

OP, let people know that it's not the PTA's responsibility and focus on what the PTA is responsible for, like fundraising.

I think the wording you are looking for is "I will ask the head to send out a txt to parents on Monday"

Your words tell us who you think you are

I won’t ask the head because I already have.

Wow, some people really hate PTA's!

Not at all. I'm an active part of our PTA.

Having a problem with the behaviour of one CM/person, does not mean the OP hates all CMs/people.

It’s curious that on some threads, like this one, people will try and excuse, and explain away, all kinds of clearly unreasonable/antisocial behaviour. I mean putting a dirty nappy under a chair and leaving it for an hour is disgusting and, hopefully, not what most people would do. Parking in a considerate manner is not asking too much. Especially when the parking spaces for all the drivers are at risk if one continues to park like a selfish git.

As the parking is the biggest issue, what exactly did the CM say when you previously spoke to her about it?

I agree that some grumbles, like the slow walking, should be handled between the parents. You need to get it clear what complaints, if any, the PTA handles, and direct the rest to the school/head. The head sounds very unsupportive. Personally I’d consider telling him that the PTA will end the parking agreement, or that you will resign from the PTA, if the school doesn’t start to provide the PTA with more support etc

I don’t think the OP sounds like a PTA nazi! If anything it is the head and some of the parents that are trying to dump too much responsibility/problems on the OP. Problems that, in my mind at least, are not normally in the PTA’s remit.

Also, some posts have accused the OP of nitpicking. Um, have you read some of the other posts?! The OP can’t do any right for doing wrong.

As the parking is the biggest issue, what exactly did the CM say when you previously spoke to her about it?

I haven’t spoken to her because a) I’M NOT THERE WHEN SHE DOES IT and so
b) I don’t know if anyone else is parking badly. Hence I’ve asked the school to send texts regarding considerate parking. That way nobody is singled out.

Thanks Daisy

Also is parents attending school discos a thing now?

Our school disco is in the evening, so yes parents are responsible for their children, because the staff have lives outside school and the whole thing is organised by the PTA. Parents sign up to do jobs, e.g. sell drinks/food, collect tickets at the door etc.

I'm more surprised that parents are charged to watch school performances. At the end of our performances there is a collection, but all of the money goes towards the schools chosen charities for that year.

It’s always been done this way here. £2.50 per ticket. Still have people trying to sneak in though.

I know you had said you aren’t there normally in the mornings, but I also thought you had said that it had been mentioned to her personally.

Hmm, I’m thinking I would still put this back on the head. He may think parking is not his remit, but if he’s not prepared to speak to the parent causing the problems, and check there are no other problem parkers, what does he expect you to do? You’re not staff, he is, you’re not there in the mornings, he is, you don’t have any authority, he does. It sounds like it’s gotten to the stage where the head steps in, or the parking arrangement ends. He probably also needs to remind parents that the PTA volunteer their time and could do with some more parental support too. You shouldn’t be spending hours fending off complaints and I don’t think the school should be allowing this to happen.

As a childminder with kids at school I’d would have been completely excluded from watching my own kids perform if some of the ranting on this thread had become school policy. We are parents first, before anything else, and the children we mind come along to the things that we would do anyway as a family, because parents choose childminders so that heir child can be cared for in a ‘home away from home’.

I'm not sure why OP is getting so much stick. It would be annoying to be organising events and having someone acting so inconsiderately at all of them. It's bad enough when a parent of a few children is being annoying but a childminder watching loads of kids can cause more chaos because of the numbers of kids there to cause mayhem!

We have a very strict no filming or photos to be taken during school plays. The head announces it at the start and the children remind everyone just before the play begins. A local college do a dvd which sells for £3 each, proceeds going to the college. I haven’t seen anyone filming since and it’s lovely to just sit and watch. No charge to go in and refreshments free with parents asked to donate biscuits/cupcakes/mince pies. It appears to work well.

At discos only current pupils can attend, parents can stay and volunteer or drop off. Class assembly, invitations, sports days etc are open to all family members. I think it’s a good balance.

So you have asked her to park in a different space, or you haven't?

zzzzz there’s an argument to be made that, if a 2yo ends up outside alone, she’s not even watching three children, at least not sufficiently.

Putting the parking issue to one side. It’s seems that she isn’t properly supervising the children she is looking after. It isn’t particularly relevant if they are her own children, or not, whether she had one child, or five. Allowing children to climb on the stage, destroy school property isn’t considerate, or acceptable behaviour. Ditto with blocking the fire exit, or leaving a stinking nappy for everybody to enjoy for an hour.

I haven’t asked her directly, no. BECAUSE I HAVEN’T SEEN HER OR HER PARKING.