To think this isn’t on (childminder and school events)

[PoutySprout]

I arrange a lot of events at DD’s school.

One of the mums from DD’s class registered as a childminder about 18 months ago. She has 2 children now at the school (year 3 and reception). She has the maximum number of minded children she’s allowed to have. Causes chaos in the morning when she blocks everyone else in in the car park with her minibus, then herds the children 4 abreast as the lay crawl towards the school entrance (across a road) and blocking everyone else who just wants to be able to travel at a reasonable pace.

Anyway, since she started this she brings her minded children to school events. Discos (the triple pushchair gets in the way and she regularly loses the older children either inside or outside the school because she just can’t keep control of all of them). She came to several Xmas shows, had the kids push to the front of the queue and then hog the front seats, changed nappies and left the bags under the seats for the whole performance, fed them snacks she brought with her (we sell snacks - that’s the point) and then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad and blocking the view of the parents behind her (we sell a DVD for a few £s). Other parent helpers are whinging to me about it, but it’s hard to know what to do. The headteacher is aware but seemingly not bothered enough to do anything about it.

Surely the minded children’s parents don’t expect them to be cared for in this way?ive never used a child minder so don’t know what’s normal.

The car park hogging and nappies are issues - the rest pfft.

This ^ and

then ignored them whilst they tried to climb on stage, winged, ran off to pull a xmas tree apart because she was filming her kids on her iPad

i.e. she's not keeping control of the children she's in charge of.

I know she's trying to make a living, but changing nappies in the front row and letting the children run riot isn't on. Why can't she sit further back - that's what people with babies/toddlers usually do, in case they do need to deal with a nappy or crying.

Ditto the parking. She needs to be aware of other people's needs as well.

I'm sorry you're fielding all the complaints, OP, that's the bugger of stepping up and volunteering, you hear all the moans that no one else wants to address!

100 children needs more the 3 staff /pta

There are around 50 parents who have to stay there because the PTA won’t be taking the responsibility of being in loco parentis this side of the next millennium.

If any mindees child escaped and lost then inform ofsted

Again, we aren’t in England.

You could only take on twins if you had two spaces available.

There are exceptions, for example you could take on an additional baby under continuity of care rules if you already looked after their older sibling or you were minding a child under one and had your own baby, but you have to apply to Ofsted for them, you cannot exceed 1:6 and you have to demonstrate that you can provide an adequate level of care for all.

Bringing own refreshments is fine. She clearly needs to watch all the kids though

Why are you countenancing people bringing their whinges to you?
It's not your job to sort it - you're on the PTA not the staff. Are you a bit of a busybody who takes that stuff upon themselves perhaps?

It's beyond me why people don't actually speak to the person inconveniencing them at the time. If someone had plonked a smelly nappy under my chair I would have had zero qualms about asking them to move it, ditto walking taking up the pavement.

Thanks Hexagon

Ooooh, just had to shoehorn that in there so we all know that you're 'considerably richer than yow'. This is just snobbery isn't it? Lots of references to things which suggest she doesn't have a lot of money, e.g. bringing her own snacks.

Why would you assume my comment had anything to do with money? I could easily have given an example related to my NHS work ( not known for generous salaries).

It's the schools problem, nothing to do with you or the PTA. You have no official role for complaints, don't try and justify it with your PTA role, you're just bitching with other parents. This is straight up schoolgirl bullyin, you should be embarrassed to admit to it at your age, it's pathetic. Grow up.

I’m not bitching at all. But you are assuming an awful lot and basically putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 76. So for that 🖕🏻.

OP... so if the headteacher has told you that he doesn't have responsibility for what happens off school grounds then surely, you don't either? Why are you entertaining complaints? It's really nothing to do with you as you are not the owner of the car park being used and you have no control as to how other people choose to use it.

Allowing complainers to take up an evening makes you sound a bit of a martyr. Tell them to take it up with the inconsiderate parkers and let them get on with it. Why do you think you have to take this on yourself to sort out?

To be honest your posts come across to me as if you rather relish being (wrongly perceived) to be 'in charge' but you've realised that you have no powers and that's what's annoying you.

Step back. Adults can and should be able to resolve this for themselves without running to another with petty complaints and whinging.

I don’t know her. I don’t like the complaints that are coming my way about her and the hassle being dropped in my lap. I doubt very much that you would either.

You have no right to be taking complaints, not your job, not your business. Don't discuss it. Point out that the PTA is a fundraising body with no authority to take or deal with complaints. Direct them to the school who will actually deal with it. You won't though will you? Because you use your PTA role to add a veneer of respectability to what is actually just nasty bitching and stirring the pot.

Hopefully the school will see straight through the complaints. They're used to seeing childish bullying so they should recognize this for exactly what it is.

you are not the owner of the car park being used

We are the official party to the legal agreement to use it though.

I think that as the school refuse to get involved then so should the PTA

Walking slowly - nothing you can or should do
Car park - close it off and direct complaints to the school
Only allow people with tickets to watch performances £3 each - no ticket no admission clearly stated in the ticket
Pram - left outside as fire hazard - with raincover
Same for discos - open only to school age children who attend the school - ticket child attending

You do your bit and let school do the rest - keep batting them back

Allowing complainers to take up an evening makes you sound a bit of a martyr. Tell them to take it up with the inconsiderate parkers and let them get on with it. Why do you think you have to take this on yourself to sort out?

I will do. I’m going to enjoy my weekend first but a text will go out on Monday reminding parents of the parking rules, the risks of breaking them and the responsibilities of the PTA.

manic why shouldn't children who are with their childminder go to toddler groups? Or play centres?

Just because people are moaning about someone walking to a school with children at child speed it doesn’t mean you have to entertain it. And why they are complaining to the pta about it is anyone’s business.
I wonder if they’ve ever thought about maybe saying ‘excuse me’ so they could get past as most people would do.
You’ve mixed up a couple of things that could be legitimate complaints with a load of non issues which makes it look like you’re just trying to find fault.

Most of the toddler groups near me couldn't run without childminders volunteering and attending.

a text will go out on Monday reminding parents of the parking rules, the risks of breaking them and the responsibilities of the PTA.

Again, not your responsibility. you are taking on an authoritative role by doing so. Ask the head, who presumably would like you to continue fundraising for the benefit of the school, to do it.

I'd just stop the car park use for everyone if it's causing so much hassle.

Why are you countenancing people bringing their whinges to you?
It's not your job to sort it - you're on the PTA not the staff. Are you a bit of a busybody who takes that stuff upon themselves perhaps?

It's not being a busybody, it's because many people like to vent and want someone else to sort things out for them, rather than doing it themselves - the PTA is a convenient intermediary.

It happens all the time at the community non-profit I work for. There's an issue in the neighbourhood (e.g. a pot hole in the road) and people ring us to have a good moan about it, rather than call the city council who are actually responsible for it. They want us to ring the council and sort it out for them!

The best is when you listen to them moaning and then ask if they could take a quick photo and send it to us...and they refuse to, saying we should drive down there and do it! That really happens!

That’s what I’m being told. I’m not judging it because (again) I HAVEN'T SEEN IT MYSELF!

and

I don’t know her. I don’t like the complaints that are coming my way about her and the hassle being dropped in my lap. I doubt very much that you would either.

You are being so unbelievably unprofessional that it is hard to give your posts credit.

Essentially you have WITHOUT KNOWING THE ACTUAL FACTS sided with a clique of bitching school gate mums and have made your mind up with even having seen most of it yourself OR having spoken with her.

You are engaging and agreeing with a bunch of allegations that are neither anything to do with you personally or with your assumed importance as part of the PTA.

Can you not see exactly how bang out of order you are being?

You need to step away from the PTA ,OP. You are dragging it into serious disrepute.

I’m a childminder but I think that is a red herring and the problem is her selfishness.

I take 5 kids to school - two in a double buggy, a walking 2.5 yo (who is a bit slow) and two school aged children. I’m always aware of who is around me and let people pass if they need to. I don’t drive to school but always park considerately regardless of where I am. I have also taken two mindees to a school play, the 1.5yo say on my lap and the 3yo sat on a chair next to me. She was watching her big sister, I was watching my son. She was impeccably behaved because she wanted her sister to be proud of her. My mindees know what I expect of them and they behave (reasonably) well when we’re out and about.

It’s nothing to do with the fact this lady a childminder, it’s that she is only thinking of herself, not the other parents and seemingly not her mindees either.

Why would you assume my comment had anything to do with money? I could easily have given an example related to my NHS work ( not known for generous salaries).

But you didn't did you? You deliberately chose an example which implied wealth. Is that what you do at school? A bit of conspicuous display of wealth to cement your status as an alpha female? And picking on a poorer parent just so everybody is clear how the pecking order works?

I’m not bitching at all. But you are assuming an awful lot and basically putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 76. So for that 🖕🏻.

You are bitching. You've done nothing on this thread but bitch.at the childminder and you have no authority or right to be taking complaints from parents, so however you want to dress it up, it's just bitching. It's not fulfilling an official role or dealing with a problem in your remit. It's just bitching.

And as for the finger, is that supposed to prove you're not childish and bitchy?

Ugh. This is all just such a cliche. It's like a stereotype from an 80s high school movie who we all try and kid ourselves are just awful in real life.

You need to step away from the PTA ,OP. You are dragging it into serious disrepute.

And setting an appalling example to the children.

Again, not your responsibility. you are taking on an authoritative role by doing so. Ask the head, who presumably would like you to continue fundraising for the benefit of the school, to do it.

That’s going from the head.

Yes well I'd be wording that in an e-mail, not a text, and making it crystal clear that you have NO responsibilities over what other parents do, that it is not your role to take on.

I expect you'll find that you (read the school) is ONE of the authorised bodies to use the car park but, and this is important, you are not the school and don't represent it in any official capacity.

I think you've got overinvested, probably for laudable reasons, but it's not going well so back off. Back right off and let the car parking sort itself out because it will, one way or the other.

Shrug this off, do your bit for fundraising but stop trying to take charge because without a mandate to do that, it's a waste of time. You'll feel a hell of a lot better without all this nonsense in your head taking up your time. I wouldn't have tolerated one whinger for five minutes, they would have had short shrift and told to sort it out themselves.

^and at the school play I left my buggy in the “buggy parking” area the PTA had set up so it wasn’t in anyone’s way.