To think a lot of people don't really care about others?

[marymarkle]

By others I mean those outside their family and friends. I know there are exceptions. People who volunteer and go out of their way to do lovely things for others who need a helping hand.
But most people vote for the policies that benefit them and their family, don't care about things that harm the vulnerable if they are not part of that group, and won't go out of their way to help someone who is not a family member or friend.

Yes, they are called Tories.

Is that shocking?
I think there are levels, no one is self less. Example: I give blood- i dont know specifically who it goes to; but I wouldnt give bone marrow unless to a direct friend or relative.

Absolutely. It's unfortunate.
I'm lucky to know some wonderful people that go well out of their way to help others.
Every winter my exP does a big homeless runnto London and distributes clothing, food, bedmats, toiletries etc. This year one of my sons went along and my other older son is going next year. ExP also volunteers at the Salvation Army and cares for his elderly parents and his wife. She's quite poorly.
I don't do anything in the realms of that but I always try to be nice. We donate anything we can that is nice (not tat) to charity shops and shop at them regularly.
We had new neighbours move in a few weeks back. I've not been good at catching them actually in so far but we've sent a card and given them some curtains as we noticed they don't seem to have much. We have a birthday today so will take round some cake and party food later too. I need to get one of my boys up in the loft to get our spare curtains out and ask the neighbours if there's anything they need.
I just like to treat others how I'd like to be treated. I live by "it's nice to be nice" and I vote accordingly and I live my life by that.
Wouldn't it be nice if everyone was nice?!

Yes I do find it shocking. I used to think most people did care about others. I always vote based on what is best for the economy and the most disadvantaged, not for what is best for me.
I do find the lack of compassion hard to fathom.

Yes, unfortunately. Though they sometimes get their comeuppance..like someone I know who worked in a public sector job & voted Tory...until they were made redundant

I feel this exactly about people who don't join a union but are happy to get the benefits of those who take action, or (worse) union members who scab. The latter are unutterable fuckers who deserve to be consigned to a new level of Hell. If I believed in it.

echt Yes I know in more cynical moments I have heard union members mutter that only union members should get the benefits they negotiate. At least unions now have a waiting period to get advice and support after joining. It still amazes me though the amount of people on here who will advice someone being screwed over at work, to join a union and get them to sort it out. It is not a service you can buy like that.

Gourmet Although it can feel like karma, I can't take pleasure in it.
I am just feeling so cynical today. If more people actually cared about others, we could make this country a much better place to live in.

Oh I totally agree with you. Not in a 'my family come first' way because of course we all feel that way - but generally those who don't give shit about anyone else and who can't feel any empathy with others.

Looking at this board OP, people dont give two hoots about their own families either. Society is completely dysfunctional. Then I remember there is a real world out there with nice people in it.

I dont think people are as bad as you make out. But if putting yourself out for others is a disadvantage for yourself and your family why would someone do it.

Thank you so much @OnlyFoolsnMothers for donating blood. I have a 2 year old with a blood disorder so if people didn't selflessly donate blood he wouldn't be here ❤️

OnlyFools I hope I am wrong and am being over cynical. I really would love to be wrong.
But yes I will vote to pay more tax which disadvantages my family, but helps those who really need it.
Although I have also been really poor and was a wheelchair user for 18 months. So maybe that gives me more empathy for those really struggling? I don't know.

I think it’s completely normal to look after your own first. Whether that’s limited to your family, friends, local community or country. It’s a lot easier to understand and see ‘fixes’ for issues that we encounter on a daily basis. Things like Pacific islands being flooded by global warming or the Syrian civil war, although obviously absolutely awful, are not in my everyday radar. But until international events end up directly affecting us - mass migration due to global warming/ war, starvation due to failed crops etc. - it’s easy to pretend it’s nothing to do with us.

marymarkle YANBU. People don't give a stuff about others in general.

And echt-spot on. Though you'll get people on here objecting to what you said.

Housey I am more talking though about people not caring about anyone who is not their friends or family. It might be a random stranger in their town for example. And I really think most people don't give a toss.

Yes but for example with tax, people have different expectations of what constitutes a decent life and the amount of money they need to live it. Person A may have 1 holiday a year, would resent having to pay more tax of it meant forgoing that luxury,---but the additional money would benefit person B who couldnt afford to feed their children.
I don't think that person A is selfish.

I look in the comments section of the daily Telegraph to see the true extent of the dislike for others. Especially the women's section, instant mood killer

It pisses me off. I care about a better society for everyone while some idiots only care about what suits their financial needs.

only how is that not selfish?

Yes only that is selfish.
I accept that most of these people will not think they are selfish. They will justify it.

But you’re talking about people not caring if they are hurting vulnerable people if they are not part of that group. You’re saying it’s selfish to not look past your friends and family to help the vulnerable in your town. I don’t think it’s any more selfish to ignore the needs of people in your town than it is to ignore the needs of people on a global scale.

Yes it is selfish to ignore the needs of people on a global scale as well.
But I am talking about ignoring the needs of ANYONE who is not a family member or friend, but random strangers. You brought in the local versus global bit.

most people vote for the policies that benefit them and their family

who on earth would vote for policies that would harm or disadvantage their families in any way?
Of course most people are selfish, but frankly you only have 1 life and you are responsible for your own children before anything else.

No need to feel superior because you buy a card for someone - another person has opened their house to homeless and welcome families every night when they would be in the street otherwise.

I think many people are decent and kind, and are ready to do a lot to help others, but it's a bit too much to expect them to be martyr and put the need of others before their own. When you ask for help, for a sick child or for a family having lost everything in a fire, you do receive a lot and it's lovely. But it's not reasonable to expect people to give everything and not right to call them selfish because of it.

Everybody is dealing with their own problems, so yes, they have to be selfish .

The thing is that you don't actually know how many people care about others. Maybe people do things that you don't witness. You only notice it if it impacts you in some way, or is visible to you.
I come across a lot of arseholes on a daily basis, that don't care about how their actions impact me on a personal level, but it doesn't mean they are selfish on a societal level