To think a lot of people don't really care about others?

[marymarkle]

By others I mean those outside their family and friends. I know there are exceptions. People who volunteer and go out of their way to do lovely things for others who need a helping hand.
But most people vote for the policies that benefit them and their family, don't care about things that harm the vulnerable if they are not part of that group, and won't go out of their way to help someone who is not a family member or friend.

Its the "ive been mugged so my neighbour should be mugged too" race to the bottom types i really dont understand.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

The way you vote

I think that's what's dividing this honestly. I know plenty of people who are "good" people, generous, volunteer, good neighbours/parents/grandparents/citizens etc.
They also think JC is seriously bad for this country. Many of them do not vote left wing.
One of the loveliest old ladies I have ever met told me she voted Tory. She said, don't tell the other people who volunteer here (church group) or they'll throw me to the wolves.
I would never vote Tory, but I would also not assume that someone is "selfish" "uncaring" or a bad person for doing so. Voting habits are rarely (if ever) so simplistic.

What I have experienced is a lot of labour voters and members who will bully you to vote labour. Respectfully, we have the freedom to vote for who we choose. Nobody should be bullied into voting for any party.
But I've seen far more people on the left get personal to conservative voters than the other way around. Don't make the political personal. People can be "good" and "caring" but vote a different way.

The way you vote Have you not thought OP that how peopke vote is being caring? What you don't like is that people will have differing views on what 'caring' is. As a PP said, pragmatism and being able to fund everything, whilst leaving people enough to have a worthwhile life on, is a fine art.

I don't think tax credits are a good thing, as I think employers should be paying a living wage, so that the govt doesn't have to subsidise the wage bill. Tax credits encourage employers to pay lower wages.

It's a question of perspective really.

People will always differ on voting. It's why we have a choice.

Tax credits caused so many people to quit work, have more children than their salary could support and then many refuse to budge from the min sixteen hours as they can net more in benefits. Future children would benefit more by gaining a work ethic as not seeing it as a choice.

People are responsible for themselves. Some make good choices, others don't but most will put themselves first.

What saddened me the other day was I told a 15yr old, be nice & people are usually nice back. She looked at me like I was an idiot. Her & her friends have no moral compass. Despite nice parents.

YANBU, empathy is something rare. Donating to charity does not cover you or tick a box. Why some people bring up politics, just proves my point, money is not empathy, political stances don't cover empathy. A genuine kindness is all it is, giving when you don't have much to give, a genuine feeling when another person is in need, with NOTHING to gain for yourself. Life is but a short trip on a roundabout. A simple comment can make someone's day.

I do quite a bit of volunteering, I help to organise community events and run an after school club - both take up a lot of my time! I try to make sure the costs of these things are low or free. I work with disadvantaged young people to support them to get on a bit better in life. Most of these young people could become amazing contributors to society but have the crappest start in life due to a chaotic family life. I would be happy to pay more tax to support the poorest in society. I wholeheartedly believe in the NHS, everybody deserves healthcare. I am a union member.

But we have a decent car, go on holidays (we need to save for them!) and own our house. I would never ever consider not leaving the house to my dc, we are working hard to benefit our dc in the future and to give them a leg up.

I don't give much money to charity but as stated above give a lot of my time!! I think this is just as vital as donating cash. In the grand scheme of things my volunteering isn't as vital as others but I hope that it may brighten someone's day or give a child a positive reason to come to school! And it also shows my own dc that it's good to give back to the community.

You're right OP. The human race is in trouble. Change ourself and see what happens.

Voting has got F all to do with it. We basically keep on voting for the same thing. I don't know who said it, but doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is madness! Change oneself, then watch the changes around you start happening.

I disagree
I work in a busy church office in the town centre and we have constant packages arriving for the food bank (someone I've never seen before gave 500 nappies last week), we often have people offering time and skills to us and for use for anyone who needs it. If we need someone to help, it's unusual for us to not be able to find someone.
It works the other way too. We have people in worried about their neighbour, or asking if they can have a cup of tea to take round the corner to someone who tripped up and is shaky or they've seen an elderly lady walking up and down the street for the last hour, but refuses to talk to them.

Looking at this board OP, people dont give two hoots about their own families either.

^Very true in this country

I think humans are selfish as thete is a survival instinct.

The thing is, there is enough money to round, its just the very few own most of it and don't want to share it. By ising divide and conquer tactics such as Austerity and Brexit you foster a selfish survival ibstinct in the masses thetefore averting class revolution and wealth distribution. That's my theory.

Just hand on to the good that people do . Remember Mrs Jellaby fro. Bleak House...always doing charity work for others but beglecting her children. If we can bring up our kids well that's half the battle.
Having said all that im a socialist at heart and id love people to be more empathetic. Yanbu op.

Neglecting even....!

From the most recent figures I can find, (2017), the U.K. public give £9.7billion to charity per year.
61% of us donate regularly.
Millions also give their time and skills as volunteers to a myriad of worthy causes.
I think that’s pretty impressive evidence that the majority of us DO care about others! It may be fashionable to be cynical and world weary, but the truth is that good Christian values of love and compassion are alive and well in the U.K. Good news rarely makes headlines, but it’s nonetheless true.

ILs all vote Labour, lots of local politics involvement, planning committees etc. Every one of them is dishonest, takes backhanders, creates jobs for family, one ended up being arrested and deselected but they’re all as bad.

And they are the only people I have ever met in my life who do not give to charity.

malificent - no in the distant past only humans that worked together and cooperated survived. Watch Bear Grylls.

Surely not most people
Most people do care imo

The way you vote Have you not thought OP that how peopke vote is being caring? What you don't like is that people will have differing views on what 'caring' is

This. More people being back in work has transformed my area. I think Labour's generous benefits was cruel in many ways, particularly to the children from those families. I think the lifestyles it encouraged damaged communities and harmed children.

I'm not shocked. I'm shocked that you are shocked. You seem naive. Oh well, now you know!!

I agree cooperation is key to survival but my point is that austerity and Brexit are deliberate capitalist ploys to divide people and prevent that. Thatcher said there is no such thing as society; only the individual. Awful.

Also the person who dosn't want to live near social housing is indicative of the awful prejudice and division that our class system fosters.
People who think like that are tragic.

so you think the only way to show support to someone is by money, and anything else is fake? Jesus. You sound an absolute delight.

again, you are twisting my words snoutandab0ut and it tells me a lot.

If you are in a financial position to help your sister starting a business, put your children on the property ladder when they only thing that stops them is the deposit, pay for your child dream school and you refuse to do it and stick to words of advice when you could make a huge difference to their life, then yes, it's hypocritical and unpleasant.

It is a shame that families need money to fund treatment for a sick child, that they need money to allow them to stop working to stay with that sick child, but it's a fact. If you could afford to make a difference to their life but chose to stick to words of support for some very odd principle, you are very arrogant and hypocritical.

If your elderly parents become unsafe living on their own, wouldn't you spend as much as you can afford to find them the best home support (if you are rich enough), or the best accommodation ? Or would you just give them a few weekly supporting phone calls to make yourself feel better but not actually achieving anything? You haven't got the option to care for them yourself because you have a young family to support.

When the best support you can give is financial and you refuse to give it, you are not a decent person.

Going back to the OP. I agree. Most people do only care about their own friends and family.

I care about the planet and the damage that we're doing to it. I care about wildlife that our selfish lifestyles are decimating and who can do nothing about it.

But in terms of people my focus is my own friends and family. I wouldn't give up what is best for them them for the greater good.

I've done all the things goodly MNers wouldn't. I was a SAHM because it was best for my children. No, I wasn't economically active. We prioritised housing so that we could live in a nice area with great schools. At some point we'll downsize and give the released funds to help our DC buy their own houses. They'll pay less inheritance tax (under current rules) as we'll give them money as we go along rather than wait till we're old or dead. The list goes on.

The thing is, amongst people I know I'm not unusual. A lot of us work so that we can help our children and give them a head start. The only place I've come across such self (and DC) sacrificing people is on MN. And we only have their word for it!

I'm not sure it's as simple as 'people are selfish though'.
I was reading an article (apologies, I don't have the link, and I am paraphrasing but it doesn't matter if it's hypothetical anyway) about a homeless alcoholic (and other issues) living in America. On a weekly/monthly basis he would pass out drunk and be taken to A& E, and often would need to stay in for observation up to a week at a time. Obviously he had no insurance and was costing the taxpayer almost one million dollars a year. Someone worked out that actually, this guy just needs a bit of support, so they bought him an apartment at say $200,000, enrolled him him a recovery programme and gave him a couple of support workers who got him up and to work on time (which was one of his major issues) at a cost of say $100,000. This worked and the chap started earning money and paying tax, I think he had a couple of relapses and trashed his apartment, so another $30,000 to clean up, but still the government has saved $670,000! Brilliant!

Now what about the single mother, who left an abusive relationship and is working three jobs to put a roof over her children's heads, where's her free flat? Is she now selfish because she reads about this and feels hard done by because she never gets to see her children? Or because she's 'coping' does she have to suck it up?

I'm not suggesting one is more deserving than the other, but every single person has different expectations as to what constitutes 'being able to live a normal life'. Some feel that holidays and seeing other cultures enrich the mind and are vital to personal growth. Others feel they are frivolous but does that mean no one should do it?

I think we make sure our own families and friends are ok to our own expectations and needs, which is different all over the world and to some will seem selfish and to others will seem the epitome of generosity and good will.