To think a lot of people don't really care about others?

[marymarkle]

By others I mean those outside their family and friends. I know there are exceptions. People who volunteer and go out of their way to do lovely things for others who need a helping hand.
But most people vote for the policies that benefit them and their family, don't care about things that harm the vulnerable if they are not part of that group, and won't go out of their way to help someone who is not a family member or friend.

I disagree completely that it's terrible. Why should my kids (who are hypothetical, and I don't want any) have a better life just by virtue of their parents having more money than the average? Obviously that doesn't mean I'd bring them up on gruel and sack cloth but I don't believe in buying advantage. I also would rather my parents left their house to a good cause than to me. I'd rather my hypothetical children grew up in an equal society where wealth was not kept in pockets and property and other commodities were therefore more available and affordable - so they wouldn't be at a disadvantage because if wealth was spread more evenly it would be achievable for everyone to have a home. I don't believe houses should ever be for profit. If I was in charge I'd abolish inheritance completely and have property going back to local authorities by default, and have a cap on how many properties one person was allowed to own.

That said, I do agree that however people vote, they think the policies they support are in society's best interests, even the most raging capitalists. I don't think anyone purposefully votes to make the society worse

my kids (who are hypothetical, and I don't want any) have a better life just by virtue of their parents having more money than the average?

But why wouldn't you want them to, if you could offer it? As someone who went to a bad school (funnily enough because my parents were principled about it) and has been playing catch up since. I would do anything I could to make sure my DS had the best start in life.

The reason why some of us have more money than average is only because we want to give our children a better life and benefit from it.

If I was in charge I'd abolish inheritance completely and have property going back to local authorities by default
In that case, I would be quitting my job right now, sell our family home and embark on a world wide cruise with my family to make the most of our cash whilst we have it.

We are extremely lucky to be in a society where you can reach pretty much any level if you really want it. Yes some people have a better start, but there are enough examples of very high level success to prove that race, colour, family background don't stop you.

The only thing that is outdated is our lovely royal family, who in my opinion has no value in our society whatsoever, and confuse the state money and their private money, but that's another issue.

If you remove all incentive and rewards, why should people bother? Why should you give something for nothing to someone who hasn't done anything to deserve it? I think it's for the best if people can work hard to give something to their children. Otherwise, frankly, who would bother.

The ones around me earning fairly indecent salaries are also the ones bringing the most money to the business, with all the high level stress and hard work or luck that it involves. Everybody benefits.

Its a dog eat dog world out there.

I predict civil unrest soon.

Of course people are selfish, it's human nature to protect your interests first. There are many levels to selfishness, would you like to give half your income to a person in Sudan, if that meant bringing both of you to just about surviving level?

There's a lot of virtue signalling on here. It's easy to talk about helping others but if it really came down to it, I wonder how many would actually do what they say?

You only have to read some of the threads on these boards to realise just how selfish some people are. Unfortunately, if children are brought up to believe that they are the centre of the universe, they turn into entitled adults.

I take this sort of behaviour as the norm, so that it comes as a lovely surprise when people are kind, generous and put other people first.

We're all just angry primates, more defined by our epochs of evolution than the handful of millennia of civilisation.

having an equitable and fair society benefits everyone in the long run. Less Crime and social problems etc
I feel really sorry that some people have no empathy with other people's situations, but what they feel to realise is that it could so easily be them if circumstances were different.

TBH I don't care about people on an emotional level unless I have an emotional connection to them (which can be as tiny as having seen a photo of them and being moved by it).

I care about society though and that it functions well and serves everyone and treats everyone as having rights and dignity. These are intellectual principles not emotive ones, although they have an emotive basis in wanting myself to be treated with dignity and have rights.

I think it's actually quite sad that when people talk about 'incentive' what they actually mean is 'money'. There are countless other ways to achieve and feel fulfilled than having a huge salary. personally I feel far more proud and fulfilled to have achieved everything I have without having been propped up financially by my parents. I don't believe anyone is entitled to a better life just because their parents and rich (and vice versa, nobody should have a worse life because their parents are poor, which is exactly why I want to see wealth distributed evenly).

In answer to your question if I did have kids I'd want them to achieve things because of their own determination, not because I can pay for better opportunities for them. I would also want them to be driven by more than just money

I actually find it quite grotesque that you'd rather sell your house than have it provide a home for someone who needs one

having an equitable and fair society benefits everyone in the long run. Less Crime and social problems etc

Yes, but what does that mean? How do you define fair?

I think it also depends where you live. Some small communities are tightly knit and people care more and help out more. When I lived in larger cities like London for example, I really felt it was each man (woman!) for himself. Hard to get social cohesion and empathy in places like that.

Which actually boils down to people caring more about “their own” when you think about it. Small communities often mean homogenous, inter generational, shared culture and identity. Cities mean a melting pot of people with different backgrounds, values etc. people become “other” and you’re less likely to feel you’re on the same wave length. I think it’s human nature. Some have evolved behind it but many more haven’t.

Evolved *beyond

I've been on the receiving end of lots of unexpected kindnesses and so do my best to be kind and do what I can for everyone. It may not be someone I know (as in the case of my neighbours) or it may be for a cause like the homeless drives or the charity shops and their penny boxes etc. I give what I can when I can and if I can help, I do. Strangers and friends, family and acquaintances.
It's simple. If everyone was kind and empathetic then half the problems we face wouldn't exist.

When it comes to voting I do think that unfortunately most people vote with their pockets and their prejudices firmly in hand.

Mumsnet isn't a good example of compassion and empathy really

I actually find it quite grotesque that you'd rather sell your house than have it provide a home for someone who needs one
that's not what I said - if it doesn't go to my children, I would spend the money NOW and enjoy myself NOW because I would have no reason not to.

I wouldn't do it to spite anyone, but there would be no reason for me not to spend time with my kids and waste it going to work.

f I did have kids I'd want them to achieve things because of their own determination, not because I can pay for better opportunities for them.
I would also want them to be driven by more than just money
So you would refuse to give them a push to help them achieve the best they possibly can? You would refuse them access to a better school for the sake of it, and let them deal with the problems of a deprived one?
You would refuse to give them a deposit when it would make all the difference between renting and buying, with the exact same salary?

It's not money for the sake of it and for the number at the bottom of your saving account, it's money that gives you opportunities, freedom and peace of mind.

There are enough threads about people with neighbours from hell and a very poor quality of life to know that it's easier to live in a detached house than in some of the town houses they are stuck in.

It’s so easy to talk about how you’d feel about “hypothetical” children. Fact is if you had real children your outlook on the world could shift enormously and you may want to give them every opportunity in life. Most parents do. Even if that means “buying advantage”.

I think people need to accept that our world is a competition, more so than ever. That’s not going to change any time soon, it’s human nature. No point tying yourself in knots about it - just get in the game and make your own life as successful as you can, whatever success means to you.

I think people need to accept that our world is a competition, more so than ever.

No it's not.

When it comes to voting I do think that unfortunately most people vote with their pockets

But what many posters on Mumsnet fail to understand is that many people have to vote with an eye on their finances. An awful lot of the population can't afford not to.

OP have you read ‘The Selfish Society’ by Sue Gerhart? You would find it interesting! It blames capitalism, in a nutshell. I have also read something that equated your attachment style with how you voted, might have been Oliver James, jist was that your view on whether other people were basically ‘good’ is shaped by how you were parented as a baby...if you are cynical about others you are more likely to be right wing.

It really is! School places at the “good” schools/university spots/job interviews/promotions. All a big competition. Is what it is.

It really is! School places at the “good” schools/university spots/job interviews/promotions. All a big competition. Is what it is.

You don't need to buy into any of that and can live quite happily and well without doing so.

I mean maybe job interviews but you certainly don't need to treat them like a competition.

You don't need to buy into any of that and can live quite happily and well without doing so.

But that's such a privileged position to come from, don't you see? Most people need to compete for jobs so that they will get paid, the better start you have the more likely you are to get a better paid job and be better able to support your family!