AIBU to think DH can go back to work with an infected cut?

[TimeAwayCat]

DH had a minor operation and the incision has got infected. It is being dressed at the GP surgery, but they have said if he feels up for it, he can return to work and it won't damage his health. He stacks shelves in a supermarket/warehouse and says it pulls when he does heavy lifting and irritates the area, the doctor is happy to still sign him off.

AIBU to think he can get back to work now? I'm not trying to disbelieve him but he manages to do some household chores with no problem... I think he's enjoying the lay ins a bit too much.

AIBU?

YANBU. Dr says it's fine, it's fine.

Well stacking shelves is a bit more taxing than housework tbh.

It's up to him really, it's his health. It'll heal and things will be back to normal soon.

Is he getting sick pay? If so does it matter?

He gets sick pay but he usually does an extra shift as over time a week

A full day of heavy lifting and bending is very different than managing a sink of dishes.

If the doctor is happy to sign him off it suggests the doctor accepts that the mechanics of doing his day job might irritate it. Is there a reason you want him back at work?

The doctor also says he can go back to work if he feels it's okay.

To be honest, that extra shift a week's money really helped.

Where's the cut?

So you want him back to work with an infected cut in a hard manual job AND on top of that to still do the extra shift 🤔🤔

Can you pick up an extra shift somewhere to compensate maybe Instead?

Leave him to heal. I could have gone back to work a couple of weeks after my c section but I'd have gone apeshit if dp had told me I should!

So why can't he be the best judge of how he feels he would manage?

Depends where the cut is. Sometimes movement can make them worse.

I went back to work too soon after a minor op. Got an infection and was very unwell and in pain for ten days.

I worked in an office. YABU.

I think YABU. He’s had an operation and hasn’t completely healed due to a secondary infection. The DR is willing to sign him off so that’s good enough for me. I think if he’s working his normal shifts plus overtime every week then he probably feels like it’s too much. Maybe he is milking it a bit but even so it’s his health that’s at stake not yours. If it was my DH I wouldn’t be rushing him back and if the missing extra money was an issue I would be looking at ways of cutting back for a few weeks to get by (and this sort of thing is also the reason I keep a well stocked cupboard that could feed us for a good month or so if it came to it).

The GP said he can return if he feels up to it. He doesn’t.
If it “pulls” he may aggravate the site and need longer off.
Unless there’s a massive drip feed about what a lazy Cocklodger he is.

There is more to life than money. Be kind to him.

YABU

a desk job then yes he probably could go back

A physical job where he’s lifting and carrying things no he shouldn’t, which is why the doctor is happy to sign him off for longer

I think I would care more about my DH's health than the money. In fact I can imagine encouraging him to take more time off just to make sure. I accept that if your financial situation is not secure this may be tougher for you but surely his health has to come first. YABU

I'm a SAHM, so I can't pick up an extra shift anywhere.

The cut is the side of his stomach.

Seems I'm being unreasonable though. Just to clarify the extra shift is something he does every week, there is always overtime and he always does it, although his contracted hours are full time, with the extra shift, it isn't too much and is just how it has been.

A friend of mine had infected injuries and did too much and ended up with some horrible effects and a couple of re-admissions to hospital. If they'd rested as told to things might have been simpler. So YABU. Hang on a week and review.

Omg, yes you’re being unreasonable

If the supermarket always has extra hours going why not enquire about whether they are hiring as its not sustainable to expect your partner to work more than part time so you don't have to work at all.

With that update I think he should stay off until he's completely healed. I don't think you sound terribly supportive quite frankly.

I'm a SAHM, so I can't pick up an extra shift anywhere

It was pretty obvious

The cut is the side of his stomach

And you want him to stack shelves? Have you ever stacked shelves? pulling and unloading those cages aren't something I would want to do with a wound on my midsection.

If money's tight then maybe he can get you in where he works for a few shifts a week.

He does it every week. When he’s well.
He’s not well.
I can’t imagine stacking shelves for hours on end with an infected stomach incision.