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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DH can go back to work with an infected cut?

123 replies

TimeAwayCat · 24/01/2019 21:51

DH had a minor operation and the incision has got infected. It is being dressed at the GP surgery, but they have said if he feels up for it, he can return to work and it won't damage his health. He stacks shelves in a supermarket/warehouse and says it pulls when he does heavy lifting and irritates the area, the doctor is happy to still sign him off.

AIBU to think he can get back to work now? I'm not trying to disbelieve him but he manages to do some household chores with no problem... I think he's enjoying the lay ins a bit too much.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 24/01/2019 23:51

YABU - Like a PP said, there's more to life than money

CoachBombay · 24/01/2019 23:52

Poor guy, he has an infected wound that pulls and hurts him.
Let him rest, he will be able to return to work fully healed and then not have to take further time off. If you rush him back it could get worse before it gets better.

Fightingfit2019 · 24/01/2019 23:55

Has dp’s work said he can go back to work on light duties, if streatching is causing him too much pain? (I personally would not want to stretch, turn, push and pull with a wound healing in my stomach/side, until it was fully healed for fear of doing further damage)

araiwa · 25/01/2019 00:00

It takes some balls for someone without a job to berate someone for not working whilst signed off by a doctor

Good job!

DemelzaPoldarksshinerrefiner · 25/01/2019 00:03

So this poorly chap goes above and beyond his job requirements willingly every week. I think he is the best judge of whether he can do his job with his injury and he has decided not. I would encourage him to not to aggravate the injury and let it heal properly in the first instance before it develops into one of those long term grumbling problems.

Rachie1973 · 25/01/2019 00:04

Jeez OP! An infected wound in his abdomen and you think lifting is ok? You’re not overly clued up on muscle groups and human biology are you?

Unfinishedkitchen · 25/01/2019 00:04

If money’s so tight that the poor man can’t be allowed to fully recover, can you not work or both of you go part time?

mumsastudent · 25/01/2019 00:05

soo - does his doctor nurse appreciate he isn't working at a desk?That he is doing physical work lifting & stretching? infections can spread if the cut doesn't heal & gets into the blood? Helping a little with housework - its not the same - maybe he is aware of the pressure you are putting on him so your partner is underplaying it - if he goes back to work to early he could land up being off work far longer

Monty27 · 25/01/2019 00:06

The GP could give him a certificate to say he could go back to work but with different duties?

PrivateDoor · 25/01/2019 00:09

What a bizarre thread. Please stop calling his operation incision a cut Confused

Also, you don't work, yet are pissed off at him for taking some time off when he normally works what, 50 hours or so? Because his wound is infected? This is batshit. Give the poor guy a break and if money is really that tight, you need to get a job.Honestly, if I were him - I would be seriously considering LTB as you clearly don't give a crap about him!

Childrenofthestones · 25/01/2019 00:15

You really don't like him very much do you?

ReanimatedSGB · 25/01/2019 00:22

Well, YABU, but is money really, really tight? He's not well enough to go back to work, but I can see how you might be worried and scared about whether you can make next month's rent, or whether you'll have to skip a couple of meals. Being very worried about money can make a person run low on sympathy - even more so if you were brought up to avoid complaining and know your place and suffer in silence.

NameChangerAmI · 25/01/2019 00:23

Wow...to say YABU is putting it a little too midly, can I suggest you are being a CF, OP?

PookieDo · 25/01/2019 00:24

I had a gynae op last year with stitches in my bikini line that got infected. I did not go back to work for 9 days because although I felt ok generally after getting over the GA and pains, I didn’t want to make the stitches or the scar worse. But I was originally signed off 2 weeks. I think surely DH can make his own mind up about whether he feels ok.

RamblingFar · 25/01/2019 00:27

I'm off work for the week with an infected foot. I don't get sick pay and I can't afford to take the time off. However I really can't afford to take more than a week off if the infection gets worse, so I don't really have a choice but to suck it up at the moment and keep resting my foot.

If his infection gets worse because he goes back too soon, you could have longer with no overtime money coming in.

BeanTownNancy · 25/01/2019 00:32

I had abdominal surgery and was off for over a month before I felt well enough to go back. I only work in an office but it was still a debilitating operation, and I got every bug and illness going during the recovery because my immune system was shot from the infection. If you don't want him relapsing and getting sick and going off sick again in a couple of weeks, best let him wait till he feels ready.

Monty27 · 25/01/2019 00:34

Sepsis?

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 25/01/2019 00:35

Was it an appendectomy?

PookieDo · 25/01/2019 00:36

I had dissolving stitches but I recall they looked and felt bloody awful with pus coming out of them and also did pull
He should be doing light duties at home if he’s just had an Op to avoid DVT no? Doesn’t mean he can go to work

Iloveautumnleaves · 25/01/2019 00:40

This has to be a wind up.

Original poster
TimeAwayCat · 25/01/2019 00:43

Just to say his surgery was almost 3 weeks ago, his recovery has been very good. It's just a small wound with an infection that says pulls when he does activities. I'm not some mean person expecting him to be back at work 3 days after.

OP posts:
Gemmamb · 25/01/2019 00:45

Stacking shelves is quite a physical job. It’s his body and he is the worker so as long as the bills can still be paid leave him be to recover

lostpigeon · 25/01/2019 00:46

got to be a wind up....or, TBF you could be my lazy arse cnut of an ex!

krustykittens · 25/01/2019 00:49

OP, he needs time to heal. I get that you must be worried about money but if he goes back to work too soon and does himself harm, he could be off for even longer, making your situation worse.

PookieDo · 25/01/2019 00:51

But what was the operation? You know that stitches even from laparoscopic incisions go all the way deep inside you don’t you, through multiple layers of tissue and it’s not just the top stitches you see it also could be lower layers. It’s not like a surface wound

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