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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Colleague acting strange. Aibu?

107 replies

Diamondangel8 · 24/01/2019 20:47

One of my colleagues that I get on with really well has just returned from travelling. We have been in touch and been communicating fb and WhatsApp. Anyway she came back on Monday and been totally off with me. We norm go out drinking, lunchtime together. I went to see her in her office first thing and her face was like thunder. She carried on with her work and wouldnt look up from her screen saying how busy she is and can't meet me for lunch. so simply tried to ask had she had a nice time? Very odd. I said if she can spare 5 mins to come see me in my office like she normally does as looking forward to hearing all about it. She didn't. I saw her in the corridor yesterday as returning from another office and she dashed down the other corridor when she saw me. I was talking with another colleague in the kitchen and she came up to them over the top giving them a big hug interrupting our conversation and ignoring me. I have absolutely no clue what is going On! AIBU? On her last day before travelling with her dh we went out for drinks and had a great time. I'm a bit in shock. WWYD?

OP posts:
Diamondangel8 · 24/01/2019 20:48

I know it's just work but it's upset me. I was really looking forward to seeing her.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 24/01/2019 20:51

Is there any chance she’s a bit stressed from the email mountain/work she’s come back to (plus post holiday blues!) and is feeling a bit overwhelmed?

drinkygin · 24/01/2019 20:52

Well obviously you aren’t being unreasonable. Why don’t you just ask her? Be direct- “have I done something to upset you? You’re acting very cold towards me.”

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 24/01/2019 20:54

Did you accidentally shag her husband?

HollowTalk · 24/01/2019 20:54

Send her a message now, so that it doesn't fester any further. "Hi, are you OK? I was worried about you at work - have I done something to upset you?"

comedycentral · 24/01/2019 20:54

Text her and ask her. Really strange though.

HollowTalk · 24/01/2019 20:55

By the way, I really, really hate people who are over-effusive with someone just because they are trying to send a subliminal message to someone else.

Diamondangel8 · 24/01/2019 20:56

I thought that possibly but then when I saw her in the corridor she was casually strolling and then saw me and literally legged it down the other corridor which has empty offices on. Then I was chatting with a colleague and she interrupted our conversation wouldn't even look at me giving this colleague a big hug. She has been very off. Not what I expected at all. I thought we got on well

OP posts:
Toughtips · 24/01/2019 20:57

Only way to find out is ask

ibblebibbledibble · 24/01/2019 20:59

Just ask her if you’ve done something to upset her.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 24/01/2019 21:02

I'd ask her either in person or by text but whatever the answer mentally downgrade her to colleague rather than friend as she's acting like an immature fool!

Fightingfit2019 · 24/01/2019 21:02

Ask

ABigBraclet · 24/01/2019 21:04

What was the last messages between the two of you about? Had she spoken of something important relatively recently?

Mummylife2018 · 24/01/2019 21:04

How was she whilst she was away? Was she the one to initiate conversations? Could you maybe have pestered her a bit?
Have you said anything about her to anyone else, who could have twisted it to her?

Kittykat93 · 24/01/2019 21:05

If this was me I'd send a text. Just breezily ask if she had a nice holiday and she seemed a bit stressed earlier and is everything ok?

Otherwise you'll never know. And texting is less confrontational than face to face so I'd prefer that.

Holidayshopping · 24/01/2019 21:06

What messages were sent between the two of you when she was away?

SilverDoe · 24/01/2019 21:09

Poor you, please ask her directly because either nothings wrong and she’s being super weird for no reason, or she can stop being so incredibly rude and PA and tell you straight what’s going on

Diamondangel8 · 24/01/2019 21:11

No I just messaged a couple of times saying hope she was having a nice time and she sent me some pictures if her drinks. I don't know what's happened. I'll leave her alone and see what she us like me week and then ask then. I'm shocked a 50 year old would behave this way.

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 24/01/2019 21:15

God that's how 12-year-olds behave. Being super-nice to someone just to spite someone else. It sounds like she's upset with you for some reason - maybe she thinks there's something inappropriate going on between you and her husband? Or she thinks you've stabbed her in the back at work or something?

icantthinkofanotherone · 24/01/2019 21:15

Have you ever met her DH? He might fancy you and he's let it slip on holiday.

Cherrysherbet · 24/01/2019 21:17

Sounds very strange op. It’s upsetting when people act this way. It’s always easier when they are honest, can’t stand mind games. Hope fully she’ll be fine in a few days, if not you should just ask her for your peace of mind. Good luck.

notangelinajolie · 24/01/2019 21:19

How long has she been away?

Dvg · 24/01/2019 21:20

Bit weird :S

NCjustforthisthread · 24/01/2019 21:20

text her, call her - just ask her.

HollowTalk · 24/01/2019 21:21

It's easier to ask by text, though, isn't it?