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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the Duchess of Cambridge should be better advised

152 replies

viques · 22/01/2019 19:19

Because ok she has three kids and I think her life is pretty foul, but to whine to a group of women who are facing huge financial, emotional and physical problems in their lives daily that you find things " so hard" when you have solid family support, a full time nanny, housekeepers, cleaners, gardeners, two huge houses with no worries about mortgages repayments, paying for the weeks shopping, not having enough cash for the electricity etc etc is a tad insensitive.

OP posts:
LordVoldetort · 22/01/2019 21:48

I would find her life hard. Imagine having children that you don’t really have much say over... she has given birth to the heir of the throne, she will be told how to raise her kids. If she does wrong she can’t brush it under the carpet because the whole world watches her and judges her. If I tell my child off in public it goes away, if she were to do the same thing it would be in every national newspaper.
Yes she might have multiple nanny’s but to me it comes at a massive cost

GlitterStick · 22/01/2019 21:50

Oh, give it a fucking rest, Glitterstick

Life & parenting is OBVIOUSLY easier in our society when you have free housing, nannies, a clothes allowance, personal chefs and household staff

Me? No, I fucking won't give it a fucking rest, why the fuck should I?
Apologies for the amount of swears, but at the risk of sounding 5 years old, you started it.
Yes, money can give you a helping hand. I pity you if that's all you think life is about though.
It doesn't discriminate - wealthy and penniless people can suffer regardless. Lucky you if you don't see that.

PineapplePower · 22/01/2019 21:51

As a working mum who had a nanny when DC we're younger I don't see the insult

I’m a working mum with a full-time nanny and I do see the insult. She shows up at pre-planned events maybe once a week for a couple of hours and shakes some hands and utters platitudes.

Cheeeeislifenow · 22/01/2019 21:53

They are both big advocates of youth mental health, of course she should say it's okay to feel that raising children is hard. Why do you dislike her so much?

PurpleCrazyHorse · 22/01/2019 21:53

I love my anonymous life. Of course she doesn't have the financial worries that the rest of us have, but I would absolutely hate to live with the worry that my children could be targeted. Not just abduction etc, but targeted by the press as they get older.

And how do you make new friends if you are Kate? I guess everyone wants to know you, but who's in it just for the story or the fame? I think I'd feel pretty lonely.

She can't really live out another thread on MN tonight... and after a rubbish day tell William she's working late while swinging past McDonalds for a sneaky burger. Honestly, small things.

MakeItAmazing · 22/01/2019 21:58

Having money and staff doesn't make a difference to emotional issues. It's like you're saying someone who is rich has nothing to be depressed about. It's like you don't understand emotional health.

I'm not saying the duchess has or has had depression for those who misread.

BrieAndChilli · 22/01/2019 22:01

She will have the same things that all parents have to worry about, the health and happiness of her children, she not have some worries that normal people have like having to pay the mortgage, having enough money for food etc but then she will have worries that normal people don’t have - the security of her kids, having every thing they do analysed, not having full control over her kids upbringing, they will always belong to the royal family.
Think how many threads there are on here where mums are complaining about over bearing in-laws, who interfere and make demands on how the kids are raised. She has this times a million and she can’t tell them to F off cos they are her children and the in laws have had their chance at raising kids like the advice normally is on here!!

Notnownotneverever · 22/01/2019 22:03

So you think she should say what exact.....oh well I wouldn't understand at all. I have a lot of help and a lot of resources. I guess you must find it hard though. Hmm
Of course she can find it hard, the same as everyone else. Everyone finds life hard in different ways. And they are allowed to say so.

GenderIsAPrison · 22/01/2019 22:05

YABU. It's not about competitive hardness.

Bejazzled · 22/01/2019 22:05

“Whined”

Vile term to apply to a woman who was trying to empathise with others. Bitterness oozing out of the op.

Bluntness100 · 22/01/2019 22:06

Seriously, what do you expect her to say " really, that's a shame, my life is fucking brilliant?"

She knows it's hard for some, she was empathising, but you know this don't you, you just wanted to have a go.

Slow hand clap op.

Bejazzled · 22/01/2019 22:13

Basically yet another anti-royal thread, this time against DoC started by a nasty op who doesn’t come back. So many in the past few months.

Sometimes I think mumsnet is infested with these political cyber trolls, starting threads that gather momentum

seenna · 22/01/2019 22:20

Her frozen brows!

whatwouldyoubelikeat28 · 22/01/2019 22:21

Didn't she have hyperemis gravidarum in all three pregnancies, which basically means you're entire internal body tries to exit your body by throwing up violently for the entire pregnancy?
All the people who bitch about her being thin after birth forget she experienced a full on illness characterised by intense unwellness and severe weightloss. Some women can't eat at all for months because of intense nausea.
If you had gone through that three times in 5 years you might feel a little underwhelmed too, regardless how many people you had to hold the babies. In fact, you might feel bad for not being able to do more. And need your mum to live with you too.
You really don't know what goes on in other peoples lives.

Rachelle3211 · 22/01/2019 22:21

In a speech at the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists last year she said: 'Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience. However, at times it has also been a huge challenge - even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not,' she said then. She has also said this. She clearly knows she has more support than most. Kate has never come across as ignorant or spoiled.

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2019 22:24

Well if she said she found it piss easy, you'd be moaning about that too.

Poor woman can't open her mouth really, can she?

IsItThatTimeAgain · 22/01/2019 22:28

I don't think it's ever easy being a Mum of 3 kids and from my understanding she tries to be as hands on as possible.

I am glad I don't have the media and a bunch of strangers criticising my every move and salivating at the thought of her fucking up, like she does.

GlitterStick · 22/01/2019 22:30

Well if she said she found it piss easy, you'd be moaning about that too.Poor woman can't open her mouth really, can she?

Exactly! There'd always be someone jumping in to complain, moan they had it harder and to suck it up.
Just no.

Aventurine · 22/01/2019 22:35

I would hate that amount of scrutiny of my weight/clothes/face/hair/everything i did or said.

MyFriendGoo5 · 22/01/2019 22:36

I wouldn't want her life. I wouldn't have dragged into it either.

Having to grab armed security just to go to the shop ?? No bloody thanks.

GlitterStick · 22/01/2019 22:36

And the whole ‘oh you poor rich person’ is very damaging for people who don’t feel they have the right to be depressed or anxious. It’s not top trumps

Very true @MonteStory

WorraLiberty · 22/01/2019 22:37

Having to grab armed security just to go to the shop ?? No bloody thanks.

Better than being grabbed on the way out Grin

Doubletrouble99 · 22/01/2019 22:50

There 's no way I would want their life. I hate having other people in my house all the time, you could virtually never be alone. Staff, protection officers, etc etc. I couldn't stand that let alone so much scrutiny must be so stressful.

laurG · 22/01/2019 22:56

Her children live in a goldfish bowl, will never have personal freedom, be expected to act in a certain way - George is expected to be king. Can you imagine trying to give them a ‘normal ‘ childhood in those circumstances. Plus everything Kate wears, says and does is scrutinised.... so I would say she does have it hard. Money doesn’t buy everything and I’m sure she knows how lucky she is to have a close family.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/01/2019 23:03

I can see the OP's point though.

Sure money doesnt make you happy, but it sure as hell gives you less to deal with.

Depression, eating disorders, or many other MH issues you care to name are made much harder when poverty is thrown into the mix. Poverty is an acknowledged causal factor in depression particularly. Having a child with severe health issues is much harder when you are poor. You struggle with travel costs, cant pay for extras that would make your childs life better but arent available on the NHS, may struggle to find affordable day to day stuff like clothes and food that dont irritate an autistic child with sensory issues for example.

I would rather be miserable with money than without it, sadly I dont currently have a choice.....