AIBU to think the Duchess of Cambridge should be better advised

[viques]

Because ok she has three kids and I think her life is pretty foul, but to whine to a group of women who are facing huge financial, emotional and physical problems in their lives daily that you find things " so hard" when you have solid family support, a full time nanny, housekeepers, cleaners, gardeners, two huge houses with no worries about mortgages repayments, paying for the weeks shopping, not having enough cash for the electricity etc etc is a tad insensitive.

Disclaimer - I am far from rich I wish but wish people would stop with the judging shit. You have no idea what is going on underneath, regardless of what outward appearances might show.

Wouldn't want her life!

and her mother lives with them a lot of the time I definitely wouldn't swap with her now!

The correlation between money and happiness tails off much earlier than you'd think. And she's not just wealthy... I have friends who are wealthy and still free to choose how they live. Of course not having enough money or support with DC can be crap, but i don't envy the lack of privacy and relentless scrutiny she lives with.

Oh fgs, another let's knock another woman thread. Why do you have to it?

People always say they wouldn't want her life, almost like it was thrust upon her. It was made clear to her what she was getting herself in to (not like Diana), she'd had a big taste of it in the years prior to their wedding, and she decided that she did want that life.

. . . and the only whining that appears to be going on is the Op

Are you saying the Duchess is only entitled to complain about feeling her life is hard if you give her the ok, or can she be allowed to feel overwhelmed if anyone else says it’s ok for her to voice her struggles?

Robin Williams, talented, funny, successful and rich, still committed suicide because he was overwhelmed.

Being in a great position, doesn’t mean you don’t feel life’s struggles. She doesn’t have money worries, but she’s still a parent, she still worries about her children, her husband and herself.

I don’t ever say this on MN, for obvious reasons, but I had two kids 18 months apart and found motherhood a breeze! I was on my own from when the youngest was 6 months, in a council flat on benefits. I was young so I had a huge amount of energy which I’m sure helped. But both mine slept well from very early on so I never really suffered from major sleep deprivation. No other major issues. Yes it was a little lonely at times but for the most part I loved it. Benefits aren’t much money but it was enough to feed, clothe us and pay utitilies. We did lots of either free or cheap activities and kids don’t care that much about “stuff” during their baby/toddler years. Point being, personal circumstances have absolutely no bearing (or very little at most) on finding motherhood hard.

Oh FGS. She's allowed to find things tough. She's allowed to empathise with other women.

In some ways, she has things a lot easier than you or I. What I would do for a night nanny right now as I've an 8 month old who doesn't sleep, a husband working away and I'm due back in work next week.

In other ways, she has challenges beyond an ordinary person's wildest dreams. I can't imagine what it would feel like to know that my kids are potential terrorist targets, for example.

Give her a break.

Well, she knew what she was signing up to

Irrelevant.

she decided that she did want that life I'm not particularly romantic, but surely she decided to be with the person she loved rather than choosing the lifestyle.

amphetaminegazelle

As the saying goes, money can't buy hhappiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than on a bike!

Oh, give it a fucking rest, Glitterstick.

Life & parenting is OBVIOUSLY easier in our society when you have free housing, nannies, a clothes allowance, personal chefs and household staff.

Kate & the rest of them should be mindful of this. No one is suggesting that her life is a bed of roses but she is manifestly not experiencing the same issues as the women she was speaking to.

found motherhood a breeze!

How so, icant? Genuinely interested in why think that, not being sarky.

I imagine every single one of us has it easier than the billions of women raising children in war zones or without running water or food security. I still complained.

'I'm not particularly romantic, but surely she decided to be with the person she loved rather than choosing the lifestyle.'

She chose both. Hasn't Harry had girlfriends retreat because they couldn't bear the scrutiny? Being in that role requires more than love, it requires absolute acceptance of what's required of you. And that can't be half-hearted.

I think she looks gaunt and harrassed most of the time. I wouldn't want her life but I do envy her lifestyle/money/support/nanny.

Parenting is hard, whoever you are.

I think what the DoC is reported as saying is ambiguous in the sense that it's not clear, to me at least, whether she means to include herself in her words.

The Telegraph quotes her as saying:

It’s so hard. You get a lot of support with the baby as a mother particularly in the early days but after the age of one it falls away.
After that there isn't a huge amount - lots of books to read.

She seems to be suggesting that there's a lack of information and help after the first year. It would be strange if this applies to her unless she picked a particularly inept Norland nanny.

The Telegraph thinks she does mean to include herself in the comments, however, and certainly I remember an interview with William and Harry in which she offered up new motherhood as the experience that impacted her mental health, whilst the other two were talking about losing their mother.

So .... I guess I'm not sure. I feel that she just wanted to empathise but perhaps could have expressed her views more clearly.

Can you imagine if everything you said innocently got bitched about in newspapers and on forums like this as soon as you said it?

I don't blame her for finding things hard, I honestly wouldn't swap my knee-deep laundry and pitiful salary for her life. There are different levels of hard and she's human

www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2019/01/22/duchess-cambridge-launches-family-helpline-reminding-parents/

Perhaps if some posters actually read that her remarks were made at the launch of a new helpline for families, and is part of the mental health campaign that the younger royals are undertaking, it might make more sense than just lifting a remark out of context.

I'm sure like most of us she didn't have the first clue about how to raise a baby/child. We all muddle our way through it calling on the networks around us. I doubt she had an nct whats app group that she could have a moan to when George was up for the third time crying at 3am. Yes she probably had a nanny (an employee) to go to but there is something comforting knowing there are other mums going through similar challenges to you.

I bet she is fairly isolated in tackling that alone, I doubt you want to open up to many people just in case it gets leaked to the press, and the world judges you.

Look how that "perfect life" manifested itself for poor Diana - different worlds, different pressures, different issues.

@PineapplePower

As a working mum who had a nanny when DC we're younger I don't see the insult.

Where's the cut off at which point a woman may no longer feel stressed/isolated etc because she doesn't work enough hours/has too much external support?