To ask if you regretted Wedding spend?

[FeelingFlat]

I'm getting married this year (date quite set can't do another time or year)

I'm completely stuck on type of wedding.

I have two options-

Small immediate family, lunch after that may or may not spread into drinks into the evening.

Big white traditional wedding with most extended family and friends invited at a cost of approx £20k (more likely to tip over than under 20k)

Whilst we can afford the big wedding it would literally leave us on zero savings.

Heart says big wedding, head says small.

Has anyone ever had regrets after a small or big wedding?! Wished you had done the opposite afterwards?

To not drip feed and to make this easier please understand that there's no inbetween wedding or budget we would be happy with despite looking at many options.

Help me decide

I had a small wedding with 25 of my closest family and friends. It was perfect and I wouldn't change a thing.

I wish we’d have done small and used our money to travel but I got caught up in the “only do it once” idea, I did love my wedding day though

Go small, honestly you’ll have a better day for it and have a happier marriage for it. Nothing worse than starting off married life with no savings or debt!!

Small, relaxed and fun and cut down on the frilly bits. Invest in photography and videography.

Less people the better😂

We had an in-between wedding at £6000 for 70 guests and I don't regret anything. I wouldn't have spent £20k though. You're still just as married at the end of the day so if the only options truly were 20K or a couple of £k, I would go for a couple of £k and have an intimate family and close friends wedding.

Have a look at the worst wedding you have been to thread. Same gripes popping up all the time

I wanted a small wedding but my husband talked me into having a traditional big wedding cost £10k 25 years ago and I have no regrets and am glad I did it.

small immediate family, lunch after that may or may not spread into drinks into the evening.

This, do this... even if the current political and economic landscape were not so precarious and bleak, all of your savings spent on one day (for what is essentially a big party) is not a good plan!

We had 90 guests for £7000. My parents have us £5000 and my in-laws gave us £1000. It doesn't have to cost as much as you think.

I’d have, and did have, a big wedding but spend 10k

The most relaxed wedding I went to was small. I would definitely have gone small if I could do it again. The money is far better spent elsewhere ( ps I had a largish wedding and I am very happily married) .

We had the big wedding (not as much as £20k though) and I don’t regret it. But it does depend on how long it will take you to build those savings back up.

Why can't you do a middle option? Ours cost under £5k with 40 day guests and 100 evening - we had it locally so hardly anyone had to travel and it was lovely.

Did a small wedding 30 guests, register office (one in a beautiful old building so it was beautiful) followed by lunch in a restaurant nearby. We hired the whole place. Was £2K for the meal, £450ish ceremony £200 dress/suit & bouquet, £150 for my hair and makeup. A friend did the photos for free.
It was a great day, if I had more money I’d have spent a bit more and made it a bit ‘fancier’ but there’s definitely middle ground between what I had and a big £20K do!

I had a big wedding, and yes it was lovely, but if I were to get married again hopefully not then I'd definitely have smaller, cheaper and more relaxed. I would DEFINITELY have a fabulous honeymoon again though!

I'm curious about why there can be no in-between option - is it because once you've invited one person who isn't in your immediate family circle you then have to invite ALL of them? If so maybe you could keep the numbers the same but find a cheaper venue / caterer / dress etc

Not gonna help but we did big (100 day 200+ by evening) but only spent 10k

It was just us to have everyone there and was amazing. Thinking back now to the singing in church, the photos and the after bash just fills my heart with so much joy.

You could do SO MUCH with 20K. Things far more fun than a wedding.

I had a big wedding that cost more than your budget, and I have no regrets. We both had a ball of a day, and it made our families happy too. We did already have our house though.

I had 20k wedding and LOVED it! Family contribute 15k though so perhaps would have felt differently if it was my own money. I'd say if you choose a big wedding, don't think in your mind you're going no expenses spared - big wedding. It sounds ridiculous but once you've paid for 80 - 100 sit down guests at a nice venue, the money won't go far. We made own invites and economised in other areas too. We also married on a week day to minimise costs. We had a fantastic day at a fantastic venue, though. I'd strongly recommend no/very little debt as paying off is no fun. Agree that the cheaper weddings I've been to have been equally lovely!

We spent £20k and we had a brilliant day and everything was lovely and we are still very happily married... but there is no way I'd spend that sort of money again.

Looking back, it was completely insane. We had a baby more or less immediately afterwards and that cash would have bought extra months of Mat Leave which would have been priceless.

It shocks me now now blind we were about it, how we spent it because we wanted the sort of wedding everyone else was having and didn't really stop to question what better uses there were for the money.

I had small (25 ish people). I only wish I'd gone smaller.

We paid 13k and for us that’s a lot of money, we didn’t get into debt and we didn’t drop into our emergency savings either.

The things that were important was everyone being there and having a good time, I think you could easily have a big wedding without it costing that much.
Get married in a registry office then invite everyone for a massive party afterwards somewhere central where people can easily get to.

I loved my wedding and there was no regrets at all. Seeing everyone you love in one place having a blast is an amazing feeling.

We had 12 people, relaxed, lovely ceremony, gorgeous meal at a hotel afterwards, it was the most perfect day and we all made a weekend of it.

Celebrated with cake and bubbly with a couple of handfuls of friends at home a couple of weeks later, also nice and relaxed, got to spend time with everyone, no stress, no regrets, wouldn’t change a thing.

I was in this situation OP

No matter what I tried it seemed to be £2k or £20k and no middle ground.

(We live in a very expensive area with one parent too unwell to travel- so stuck!)

A ‘small’ wedding of 20 people meant not inviting some people we REALLY wanted whilst having some ‘close family’ we weren’t fussed about!

So many people push the ‘Its your day, do what you want, invite who you want’ but actually it’s not really the case at all unless you’re willing to offend friends/family and put everyone in awkward positions!!

😒 we might prefer aunty X to uncle Y but dear parents are going to have to explain why one of their siblings is invited and not the other - cherry picking which family you do and don’t want is completely shitty and WILL cause long term hostility!

We spent about £8-9k on our wedding, 60 family and friends. It was perfect and worth every penny. Was a beautiful day and everyone had a blast!