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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP's mother?

119 replies

ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 15:52

I'm aware this is going to sound incredibly petty.

Me, DP and his mum are all on Tesco Mobile. The bill is paid out of our joint account every month, including DP's mum's. This is because DP has paid for this for years as it started when he lived with her, and it's carried on. He puts more money in the joint acc so I am not personally paying for it.

A couple of months ago I realised we can get Tesco Clubcard points on this, so I checked the account. We pay about £50 a month for all the bills so I thought we may as well get those 50 points. There was another account number listed on there, so I changed it to ours (mine and DP's card). The other number was his mum's, presumably inputted when he lived there (about two years ago).

DP's mum has now messaged him asking why she isn't getting the points, as she's checked her statement and they aren't there. DP said I've changed it to ours, and she said I am selfish and it's always been her card that gets the points as she likes to save them up. Well, so do we. I think because we are paying for it, we should be getting the points on our card and she's being cheeky. She has more money than us (as she has no mortgage or rent), yet DP continues to pay her bill out of kindness and all she's worried about is points. AIBU?

OP posts:
WoWsers16 · 20/01/2019 15:54

Oh my gosh the points are totally yours! If she wants the points then she has to pay.
Getting Tesco points and vouchers are one of life’s little perks! Don’t let anyone take that away! Xx

buttons101 · 20/01/2019 15:56

If you're paying the bills then you should get the points.

YANBU

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 20/01/2019 15:57

I agree the points should be yours as you pay but I think it must have been obvious there was a good chance it was her card registered (or even that you knew full well) and you should have had the courtesy to let her know.

PastaCake · 20/01/2019 15:58

Your money your points.

Topseyt · 20/01/2019 15:59

I don't think I would have bothered to change that. Too petty. I would have left it at her clubcard number.

Maybe that is just me, or maybe there is much more to it. From your post though, it sounds like picking a fight for the sake of it. Not worthwhile.

I would though, question DP about why you are continuing to pay his mother's mobile bill anyway. That is just odd to me.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 20/01/2019 16:00

Why is a grown man paying his mums phone bill?

Bluelady · 20/01/2019 16:00

Definitely your points but you should have told her.

Macaroni46 · 20/01/2019 16:01

The points are totally yours and DP's. YANBU. She should also start paying for her own phone.

MiniCooperLover · 20/01/2019 16:02

Suggest if she'd like the points she can feel free to start paying the phone bill

MuddyMoose · 20/01/2019 16:02

You're paying. Your points!

Looneytune253 · 20/01/2019 16:02

I agree you should have told her but just set her up on a new account where she can pay her own bill and accrue the points. I’m sure she’ll be over the moon

JustHereForThePooStories · 20/01/2019 16:05

What are 50 points worth? Is it 50p?

EsmeeMerlin · 20/01/2019 16:10

Tell her no problem, we will cancel paying for your phone bill and so she can get her Tesco points for her phone.

Comeymemo · 20/01/2019 16:10

So this fight is for £6, spread over a year?

BlueLuna · 20/01/2019 16:13

@Comeymemo it's not the point though is it. It's the principle.

Gth1234 · 20/01/2019 16:13

She is BU, not you.

BlueLuna · 20/01/2019 16:13

Damn phone.. Why should DP's mother be getting the point when she isn't paying? DP shouldn't be paying for the phone at all.

Comeymemo · 20/01/2019 16:15

@Blueluna I disagree. It’s such a small amount, I can’t imagine thinking about this more than 10 seconds. The only principle involved here is ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’.

SassitudeandSparkle · 20/01/2019 16:15

You've handled this badly and made yourself look bad here, OP. It's clear (and probably understandable) that you don't like your DH paying her phone bill. But rather than tackling it face to face, you've gone for a passive-agressive method that has made you look really petty. You knew she got the points.

What made you do this now? Has something else happened?

PastaCake · 20/01/2019 16:17

Or give her the money equivalent "her" points if that helps smooth matters.

Fishcakey · 20/01/2019 16:19

I can't believe anyone actually checks their Clubcard statement ConfusedConfusedConfused

Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 16:19

Yes 50 points are worth 50p but Tesco has a scheme where you can exchange for up to 4x the value. So 50p becomes £2

OP posts:
PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 20/01/2019 16:21

It would annoy me if MIL had portrayed herself as incapable of sorting out her own phone tariff and arranging to pay it from her account, but was savvy enough to know how to claim the points and not say anything.

Nanny0gg · 20/01/2019 16:24

But they're not your points! You don't pay the bill!

What your DP decides to do as regards to his mum is not your business if it doesn't impact you.

Gazelda · 20/01/2019 16:24

I'm afraid it does sound petty and PA to have done this. It would have been courteous to let her know. Or at the very least tell DP what you we're planning.
Technically you're in the right, but I think that the way you've gone about it has lost you the higher ground.

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