Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is DP's mother?

119 replies

ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 15:52

I'm aware this is going to sound incredibly petty.

Me, DP and his mum are all on Tesco Mobile. The bill is paid out of our joint account every month, including DP's mum's. This is because DP has paid for this for years as it started when he lived with her, and it's carried on. He puts more money in the joint acc so I am not personally paying for it.

A couple of months ago I realised we can get Tesco Clubcard points on this, so I checked the account. We pay about £50 a month for all the bills so I thought we may as well get those 50 points. There was another account number listed on there, so I changed it to ours (mine and DP's card). The other number was his mum's, presumably inputted when he lived there (about two years ago).

DP's mum has now messaged him asking why she isn't getting the points, as she's checked her statement and they aren't there. DP said I've changed it to ours, and she said I am selfish and it's always been her card that gets the points as she likes to save them up. Well, so do we. I think because we are paying for it, we should be getting the points on our card and she's being cheeky. She has more money than us (as she has no mortgage or rent), yet DP continues to pay her bill out of kindness and all she's worried about is points. AIBU?

OP posts:
Beansandcoffee · 20/01/2019 18:07

** elevensmiles - I agree she sounds hard work and jealous of her partners relationship with his mother.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 20/01/2019 18:08

Christ.

I pay my mum's phone bill because I set the account up for her and just never bothered switching it to her bank account. I don't begrudge her £20 a month. It is my money and not for my partner to even have an opinion on.

She benefits from loyalty points. Good for her. Again, if my partner decided to take that away from her then I'd be furious with him.

CatnissEverdene · 20/01/2019 18:10

Let's hope his mum doesn't bill you in return for all the things she's done in his lifetime. To deny someone £2 a month who gave birth to your partner is petty beyond words and really saddening to read.

SassitudeandSparkle · 20/01/2019 18:19

The phones don't all have to be on the same clubcard though - it's possible to put the mother's phone on her clubcard. Not sure why the OP hasn't done this already.

BlueLuna · 20/01/2019 18:27

Let's hope his mum doesn't bill you in return for all the things she's done in his lifetime

Why on earth would she bull the OP? 😂

The replies on here are ridiculous. How the fuck is it not cheeky for someone to call another person selfish for wanting to keep the points that they are helping to pay for?? Especially when said person has more money than the other and isn't even paying their own phone bill?? Jesus!

£2 is not a lot but for some people, like DH and I, we save them for a trip to the cinema that we can't usually afford.

MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 18:27

The big question is why does OP want to piss off his mom

Because she can.

Sometime in the distant past, the DP got his Mum a phone on a shared contract and wasn't even slightly interested in Tesco points as he lived with his Mum and she did the shopping and fed him. His Mum didn't want to see the points go to waste so asked him to put them on her card.

Cue OP who gets in a tizz about it and wants her 20p a month as she's entitled to it and unilaterally goes and changes it.
I'd be a bit hurt to be honest, but only because OP didn't see fit to mention it to anybody. If I was the DP's Mum I'd think it bodes ill for the future. The depth of this pettiness knows no bounds.

MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 18:30

As someone with no rent to pay and more income than the OP, why is she making such a fuss?

Maybe she saw it was missing on her account and wondered if Tesco had made a mistake. So rang to ask. I doubt she's bothered about the £2. It's the sneaky way it was done that would be hurtful.

MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 18:36

She has more money than us (as she has no mortgage or rent), yet DP continues to pay her bill out of kindness and all she's worried about is points. AIBU?

This means nothing. She might not pay rent but she might have a much smaller income than a 2 income household (OP AND DP).
I don't pay rent but my daughter and her partner have an income 4 times the size of mine.

Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 18:42

@MrsBandersnatch she and her husband both work part time and have a higher disposable income than us (as they pay no rent/mortgage)

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 18:44

@Beansandcoffee we don't take her points for her ordinary shopping. We just switched the Tesco Mobile account to our number.

OP posts:
MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 18:49

We just switched the Tesco Mobile account to our number

But that's not what you said in your OP. You said you checked the account and you changed it.
Did you consult your DP first then? Before you changed the card number?

kalefire · 20/01/2019 18:51

Goodness me.

But if you are only paying £20 then you're only missing out on

£20 = 20p which can be x4 to give you... 80p!!

Of course 'officially' they should be your (DP and your) points but in the grand scheme of things why rock the boat for such an insignificant thing?! Are those points worth making your relationship with your MiL even worse?

Yes, petty.

Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 18:52

Yes I did consult him, he was there when I did it.

OP posts:
Petitprince · 20/01/2019 18:55

Yes, that's petty. I really couldn't get that bothered about it.

MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 18:56

I bet it gave him pause for thought.

potatoscone · 20/01/2019 18:58

Bloody hell OP that's awful. I truly wonder what happens to people to make them so absolutely miserly.

Omzlas · 20/01/2019 18:59

It's already been asked but I can't see a reply - WHY are you paying her phone bill??

She wants the points, she can pay the bill. Simple.

IsItThatTimeAgain · 20/01/2019 18:59

The points are for whoever foots the bill, but you and his Mum both sound petty tbh. Eh, you know what they say about some men dating/marrying their Mum. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 19:01

Maybe I am petty but DP's mum has form for being ungrateful and rude. DP pays her phone bill and he doesn't get a thank you.

DP was given a £50 M&S voucher and a hamper of booze from work and decided to give it to her (we don't drink and he thought she'd appreciate the voucher), just as a nice thing to do. We arranged to meet at a town 40 miles away from us, 10 miles away from her, to see her and give the things to her. She complained about having to come 'all that way' and said we have to buy her coffee and cake as we're inviting HER out. She didn't even say thank you for the voucher or gifts either.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePinkHulk · 20/01/2019 19:01

It's already been asked but I can't see a reply - WHY are you paying her phone bill??

DP paid it when he lived there as part of the household contribution, but never stopped after moving out.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 20/01/2019 19:02

OP isn't paying the bill, her partner is. And if he wants to pay his mum's phone bill, that's his business.

ElevenSmiles · 20/01/2019 19:04

Yep....Who didn't see this coming.

MrsBandersnatch · 20/01/2019 19:08

ElevenSmiles

Yup. It's like we have a crystal ball innit?

Belenus · 20/01/2019 19:10

Echoing pyoing all of the 'how petty of you' indeed could be out to the DP DM! And agree this is how CF'ery can begin!

Except the DM hasn't done anything except in response to the OP's actions. The bills were initially paid when her son was living with her so she does stuck to the original arrangement. The OP changed it unilaterally without telling her. How does the DM get to be the cheeky fucker without actually doing anything (bar kicking up a fuss after the event)?

All a bit of a stupid argument. The OP could just have sent her a text/ email saying "hi, just to let you know, I've changed the points over". It's a basic courtesy when changing a long-standing arrangement.

LifeofClimb · 20/01/2019 19:33

If it was your mum... fine, you could maybe dictate what happens. Dh’s bill, dh’s mum, I’d just mind my own to be honest!

Swipe left for the next trending thread