My sisters about to transition

[Moominfan]

I'm absolutely devastated. It's such a long term decision. They're only 18 and still figuring themselves out. Originally went to gp who forgot to do referral so it bought us some more time. She's now going down the private route and has an appointment Monday. I've really tried to keep my opinions to myself as didn't want them to feel they had to rebel against the rest of us. Was hoping life would distract them, driving lessons, travel, uni ect but their adamant they want to go through with it.

I would be OK with a young woman having herself sterilised if that was what she wanted. That effectively does the same thing, doesn't it?

I would be OK with a young woman having herself sterilised if that was what she wanted. That effectively does the same thing, doesn't it?

But if there was a huge increase in the number of young women wanting to get sterilised (or make other life changing decisions that are irreversible) especially at such a young age, wouldn't you want to at least investigate the reasons for this?

It is very very hard to get yourself sterilised at 18 gwenneh.
You would have to have a very compelling argument of risk and even then drs a very reluctant to sterilise young people.
I’m 40 and my husband has had a vasectomy, I have horrible problems with my cycle and period and still the drs won’t give me a hysterectomy.

If FMG is something to be reported and prosecuted why are binders and surgery allowed in the name of gender transition?

18 just seems so young to make such decisions that will alter your whole life and may physically harm your health. You have had such a small amount of lived experience as an adult - as a person responsible for their own life.

Beerflavourednipples Naturally -- I don't disagree with you at all here.

However I am very uncomfortable with the idea that someone else's bodily agency exists only so far as other people tolerate or agree with the decision. Either we have control over the disposition of our own anatomy, or we don't.

I feel this way about sterilisation for young women, too. I have at least one friend who fought for years for hers on the NHS while she was in her early 20's and I don't feel that's right, either.

This is shocking me the amount of people that seem to be upset and against this. You should be supporting your sibling and it makes me sad to read so many people saying how awful it all is. Yes it may be sad for you to lose a sister but you are gaining a brother and also your sibling will now be happier and more comfortable in their own body. I don't understand why this is such an issue for some people. You don't have to understand it but you should be there for them and not make this a sad event but a happy one. Most people commenting saying they are mutilating themselves/they will never be a real male etc I really hope none of your children are trans as this is not the kind of views that are healthy in any family.

“They are very very similar arguments that we’re used against gay people, but if you want the exact same arguments look at the arguments in bioethics regarding forced sex assignment at birth for intersex people: there is no such thing as intersex, it is a delusion, people are either female or male, they cannot biologically be both, intersex people have to be assigned a sex to save them from themselves and it is the role of medics and family to save them”.

This is disingenuous though, as the intersex (actually DIsorders of Sexual Development now) community are saying the opposite to the trans activists when it comes to hormones and operations.

Namely: don’t, leave our bodies alone, let us make any decisions later. It’s literally the opposite message than that of promotion of puberty blockers and early surgery.

What your brother needs the most right now is support, maybe suggest he slows down his transition for the moment until he makes his mind up.

I myself have always felt a bit wrong, and that maybe I would have been better had I been born with a male body as I don’t feel my self image matches the body I see in the mirror, that said I’ve never felt strongly enough to do much about it but that doesn’t invalidate my sense of self

What your brother needs the most right now is support, maybe suggest he slows down his transition for the moment until he makes his mind up

So siblings mind is not made up but already they are a brother?

(Agree completely with the support bit )

Most people commenting saying they are mutilating themselves/they will never be a real male etc I really hope none of your children are trans as this is not the kind of views that are healthy in any family.

What? Healthy? Cutting off perfectly healthy and functional body parts is 'healthy'? Do you believe that humans can change sex then, if you believe that a woman can become a 'real male'?

your sibling will now be happier and more comfortable in their own body

I used to believe this too. It’s so easy and requires no critical thought whatsoever.

I now know there is plenty of evidence to suggest that a large percentage of trans people are not happier in their new, surgically altered bodies. They aren’t happy with the side effects of the massive hormone doses they have to take. They can’t always find a romantic partner because their genitals are “wrong” (“wrong” as in not surgically altered, or “wrong” because they have been but still only vaguely resemble what they should). “Passing” in everyday life isn’t a given.

I could go on. Transition isn’t a golden ticket to a happy life.

And have to question the free will argument. Free will is rarely totally undirected by external pressures and external messages. Call it socialisation or advertising, people everywhere are trying to steer our free will to their benefit.

As some people have suggested a huge rise in the numbers coming forward as trans is more indicative that their free will has in some way been manipulated than anything else

If people are being manipulated we need to protect them

Who might want to manipulate women in this way? Men who think that women have stolen their jobs? Men who want meek compliant feminine women to boost their sense of manhood? Pharmaceutical companies who want people to be on druges for life...why fix people if you can medicalise them? Homophobes?

Unfortunately you can't do anything about it OP, and while I understand your concern he is over 18 so you won't be able to change his mind/prevent him from transitioning.

While a few people do regret transitioning plenty don't, I have a trans man friend who transitioned at a similar age to your sister and years later they couldn't be happier with their choice to transition and get surgery. I also live with a transman who is now in his 40's and is married and have a child and is perfectly happy, and whose trans status hasn't affected his life negatively at all and actually opened up doors for him.

Yes, your brother might regret it down the line and you wouldn't be wrong to raise concerns about their transition and the life long effects it could have on their body which won't be able to be reversed once done, but if he makes the decision to pursue this journey despite those, then supporting them is the way to go.

An excellent summary of this kind of situation.

twitter.com/janeclarejones/status/1087490247263440896?s=21

Also well worth a read notthenewsinbriefs.wordpress.com/2019/01/21/i-am-not-and-have-never-been-gender-dysphoric/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

Apologies for reviving an old thread, but I wasn't sure about starting my own and then I found this one and the comments have been quite helpful.
My sister has today announced she is identifying as male. She is 22 and has been identifying as asexual for a few months now. Had been a lesbian for a short while as a teenager. She has bipolar but isn't taking medication and scores highly for autism/asperges on the many online tests she has taken. She's always been flighty and prone to phases so I'm not entirely sure how seriously to take this, i have told her I love her and support her whatever, but I've always been quite skeptical of the current surge in transitioning and wonder how much of it is genuine gender dysphoria and how much is cultural influences. We've had conversations about this in the past where she said that if it had been like this when she was 13/14 she'd have definitely thought she was trans but knows she isn't and is happy being a girl/woman. Now a year later and this happens, I'm struggling to get my head around it and worry that it's a symptom of her other mental health issues, while not wanting to be unsupportive if it turns out she genuinely thinks she should be a man. It's just such a turnaround...

She knows my views in general so doesn't expect me to be all over this, but of course is still want to help and support in any way I feel I can. Can't imagine referring to her as my brother and using male pronouns, but I don't want to upset anyone...
Such a minefield!