To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

It is embarrassing to hear “everyone said it was the best wedding they had ever been to...” because it actually means “will you shut the fuck up about it if I say that?”

Sorry to all who have said it on the thread but it really does!

It's funny but a few people have suggested including maps of local places to eat like McDonalds in the wedding invitation.

I think a lot of people would be slightly shocked to actually receive one though. It doesn't exactly send a great message about the wedding. Basically please fill up with food by yourself because we can't be arsed to feed you.

I think in the OP's case, they were having the ceremony in the morning and then the guests had to get across town by themselves for the reception, which wasn't until 6pm. 6 hours is a hell of a long time to kill at Starbucks. Plus they probably wouldn't want more stuff to carry. It didn't sound very well thought out really.

Worst wedding was the one where we had no transport to the venue after the church(after traveling overseas and being promised transport-which we were paying for!) My Dh(then bf) was best man and so stressed as he was going off in transport but not me or his family.

We got to the reception and the dj was playing already (at about 3pm in the day!). This continued throughout the Buffett (which was awful and not enough food for all the guests-we got about 1 cocktail sausage each-you get the drift!). No drinks provided.

This dj is still playing. He played all night. We left about 11:30pm and went back to our hotel where I sweet talked some guys into giving us their pizza as we were ravenous. No danced (bar us crazy lot all night!)

And I ended up minding the newly weds baby most of the day having never met them or the baby before.

@deadliftgirl all of that sounds lovey EXCEPT THE ICEBREAKERS AND GAMES. 90% of people despise those kind of forced interactions, they're embarrassing.

They’ve all been pretty lovely but the two that stand out are:

Those I had to go to as a teenager where the bride or a groom was a cousin. No one else my age and didn’t know anyone. Not family members we saw very often.

One where my husband and I were on different tables. We’d only been married a year or 2. I was on a table with some other relatives and he was with randoms with no one he even vaguely knew. I was sat next to a single guy. It was so weird and to this day I don’t know why they did it and if it was deliberate in some way. My dh took it as a ‘slight’ on him and got really upset wanting to leave when he saw the seating plan but my dad would have been very embarrassed as it was his family. I persuaded dh to stay for the meal but it wasn’t fun.

A marquee wedding in January was chilly with insufficient heating.

I don’t like ice breakers, you can’t force people to socialise. I just want to catch up with my friends who I may not have seen for ages.

I hate child minders away from the wedding. Sorry. We went to a wedding where our son - less than 2 at the time - was expected to go off with childminders he'd never met before....into a room away from the main venue....with kids he didn't/hardly knew. There was no way it was happening. So in order not to miss out on kids fun one of us had to go out the wedding too....either I was stuck in a kids party, or my oh was - leaving me with his family and strangers. It just didn't work for me. Which is why at our wedding....no long meal ...buffet so kids get fed quickly ....kids can play where we are. ....the only place kids can go is to the park if they want to.

One wedding springs to mind. Ceremony in a church, the priest started by saying 'we don't want to miss the big match later so lets get on with it.' Half a dozen children rampaged up and down the aisles, shouting and screaming and their parents did nothing.

There was what felt like an endless three hour wait after the ceremony for photos etc when we had a couple of canapes and a glass of cheap bubbly. Why do people do this?

Some of the clothes worn by guests were bizarre - FOB took off his jacket to show he was wearing a multicoloured knitted cardigan with a big hole in one elbow. Others were wearing ripped jeans and T shirts and one family were kitted out in matching tracksuits. I was wearing a typical wedding outfit and felt massively overdressed.

Part way through the reception the priest and half the male guests disappeared to the pub next door to watch the all important football match.

@Fusioluxe

You are just rude and did not provide anything positive to this discussion!

@user1474894224

Hey thats fine, each to there own. My mum was actually against the child minding company but the thing is that my wedding was not a completely British one and all the children were from parents from a completely different culture who loved the idea of this. I think its good we asked them before we booked the company if this was okay with them and one mum said she was happy to enjoy her meal with her husband. I don't think that makes her a bad mother as her kids were safe and being looked after and had a great time doing arts and crafts and playing with lots of toys rather than being bored listening to speeches.

Could be worse SilverSurfer. I was checking out a venue for our wedding one summer Friday, looking to book for the following year, and the guy showing us round said that he had his first summer Saturday off in five years the next day. The couple had picked a date, and he’d warned them that it was the day of a huge international football match - group stage so known well in advance. The bride laughed at the ridiculous suggestion that any of her guests would prefer to watch some football match rather than come to her wedding. But she was wrong. They had to move the date and the owner of the venue planned to spend the deposit on beer to drink while watching the match.

PyongyangKipperbang

Hi thanks for your comments and I see what you are saying with your cousins wedding but to clarify, I never asked anyone what did you think of my wedding? Like who does that?

Just that on the night and afterwards, a lot of people were genuinely calling me up and telling me this and commenting on particular aspects of the day that they loved. I do think though that it was quite remarkable for my guests as they had never been to a wedding like mine before as my wedding was a multi-cultural one.

I hope your next family wedding is much better!

The one which never went ahead as the Home Office appeared and carted the “groom” away, he being mid twenties and with no right to be in the UK, and his British fiancée being long past retirement age.
Long story, It was quite sad as she was very vulnerable, and she did want to marry him. She cheered up when people said she could still have the presents anyway. We took her for a coffee, she was fine after a glass of milk and a cake and presents.
I only went to swell the numbers (and mainly so I could try and stop it if necessary, I really thought I would have to shout out during the “anyone know of any reason...) before he was asked to assist with enquiries he managed to give me the eye and wink at me several times!

@deadliftgirl
Your wedding sounds lovely wish I knew you and had been invited.
I also love evening invites.
I love English weddings.
I’m usually invited to Sikh weddings that last forever.
I had 16 weddings to attend last year.
3 in one weekend.
I fed my kids in the temple to make sure thy are and got Maccies on the way home.
Food and waiting around are big stressors for me.

Sikh weddings are IMMENSE! So very, very welcoming.

Big wedding in a super expensive venue with all the flashy, expensive trimmings - but a pay bar. All show and no generosity to guests.

Fusioluxe This is true! Ignore the poster with the water bottle wedding!

At my sister’s wedding a one year old screamed throughout my dad’s entire speech.

Neither parent thought to take him outside.

Whats the issue with a pay bar?

Isnt that the norm these days? I have worked free bars and I wouldnt have one at my wedding for anything. As soon as the words "free bar" are bandied about, it gets messy. Men who hate wine will drink it if spirits are not allowed, just to get as pissed as possible. If spirits are allowed then be prepared to end your party at 9pm as 80% of your guests will be trashed by then. And this was a v v NAICE venue, £10,000 before food/drink/venue dressing etc.

I've never been at a wedding with a free bar. It just seems to be a thing on MN

Id never expect the bride & groom to cover the bar bill all night

No I don't get the free bar thing either. Why should the b&g pay for all the drinks all night? That would have doubled the cost of our wedding!

No free bar at ours either, it's not expected where we live. We got married at 4pm in the gardens of the hotel and since they had a professional catering barbecue, we went down that route for our meal - we were able to give guests the choice of steak, 1/2 lobster, langoustine or vegetarian for less than a sit-down meal would have cost. We had a big table of salads for people to help themselves and everyone sat where they wanted and chatted to who they wanted to chat to. It ended up feeling like a big summer party that we just happened to get married at the start of.

I also would never expect a free bar. But make sure you check the bar prices in your venue. Some are horrifically expensive and that annoys me if you are there all day buying drinks

@Rubiksqueen for me personally there is always a divide between the day guests who’ve been steadily boozing all day, having injokes, talking about events of the day and the evening guests turning up sober and awkward. I’ve only been an evening guest once and wouldn’t again. But as a regular day guester it just feels awkward when the evening guests turn up in my personal experience. I think your idea of the evening guests changing their way of thinking and just sucking it up in the name of fun is a bit deluded 🙈 I do totally understand why people have evening guests though! Just personally don’t like it.

Make up ice breaker cards and games that people could pay at the reception before it actually starts. Even games where people go into teams or something and have to find things! It could be fun?

Oh, dear god NO! Forced fun. This is like going to a team-building event at work.

Or even suggest some places near the reception (if central location) that guests can go to near by for coffee or something during the wait. Like if theres a Starbucks or Mcdonalds near by and people want a venture. Or even try and get some discount coupons or codes for various bars near the ceremony so people can get a drink there before they come to the reception. If you ask a local pub or bar, they may put something together for you (just for guests) while your away getting the photographs done.

Yeah, tell 'em, 'The photos are more important than anything. You are just props in our show. Fuck off somewhere and feed yourself, then come back when we call.' SO, SO rude.

OP I hope this helps and trust me see the people who want to be at your wedding will come regardless of the time in between !

They may do so because they feel obligated, but doing this, don't expect them to be happy about it.

Sounds bloody rude.

As for 'Everyone tells us mine was the best wedding', what PyongyangKipperbang said. Give me a break!