To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

I went to a wedding last year where the Bride, Groom, Father of the Bride, Best Man, two Bridesmaids, the Bride's sisters and the Groom's brother ALL made speeches...it went on forever! Everyone was bored and hungry, kids were getting restless. This was after we'd already waited around for ages after the ceremony for them to have photos taken. There were no canapés but there was wine so everyone got drunk very early on due to all the waiting about with nothing to do or eat so that meant a lot of people then bailed out of the evening reception early.

The mother of the bride and groom had a slanging match. The photographer fucked off. Hours spent waiting for the reception to start so someone went on a McDonald's run.

Really wish we could go back and time and just delete the person who started the tradition of speeches at weddings. Other than a quick 'Thank you everyone, hope you all have a lovely time' every single one of them is a boring waste of time. No one cares! They just want to eat!

Most speeches are just self indulgent nonsense. Also spare me the hell that is PowerPoint.
I hate standing around for hours while a million posed photos are taken.

I’ve always enjoyed the groom’s speech. It tends to be the shortest of the three and it’s usually a nice reflection on the couple’s relationship which is, after all, the point of the day.

But in my experience the FotB and Best Man almost always overrun and bore everyone to tears while usually making you cringe with embarrassment. I think I’ve been to three weddings now where there have been two best men doing a double act for the speech, and it has never gone well. At my friend’s wedding the best men spent most of their speech listing all the groom’s DUIs and speeding incidents... it was awful and not even a little bit funny.

Then you have the FotB droning on about all her Year Six cello exams and whatnot... As if that’s interesting to anyone else!

My one bridezilla moment is that I keep telling my speakers that I’m going to have a big clock on the table (like they have at open mic nights) running down from five minutes to zero. They think I’m joking. I’m not.

I agree with you, Clio.

Then you have the FotB droning on about all her Year Six cello exams and whatnot... As if that’s interesting to anyone else!

You went to my best friend's wedding too then?

Why DO they do that? It's not remotely interesting or funny and it feels a bit like you are listening to a CV being read out.

I don't get why any FotB acts like he's losing his daughter, in this day and age. Rarely is a woman leaving the parental home to live with her husband, as in days of yore.
I was at one wedding where the FotB got emotional about his little girl, but she'd been living with the bloke for 12 years and had 2 kids.

Well this has been very helpful as I plan my wedding! Thanks all.

Happy to say the food budget is 5x my dress budget and we’re providing all the drinks (booze and soft) for free. The reception is 5 minutes from the church, everyone is invited to the whole day, and there are no long waits for food. Am I safe from future MN threads do you think?

No long waits food OR drink*!

The worst I've ever been to was a small intimate family wedding (about 10 people) with the reception at the local country pub.
The food was bloody awful-chicken goujons and chips. No starter. No dessert. No drinks.
The wedding cake was a children's birthday cake (I kid you not) because the bride 'forgot'
In the middle of the speeches the Grandad had a stroke- he was OK in the end.
My dh had to leave me to go with the Grandad to hospital so I was left alone.
Then the bride and groom had a massive row. The groom left and the bride was in tears for the rest of the night.
Worst. Wedding. Ever.
Still happily married though!

Guests separated from families or plus ones in the hope we'd all make friends. Hideous!

I tune out during speeches. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I'm able to sleep out on the pretext of needing the toilet when in fact I'm outside on my phone. I have yet to hear one that wasn't boring as AF.

aethelgifu
I liked the speeches at my wedding. We had 2 and both were short and sweet. The best man really did a good job of being funny but not inappropriate. Having always been quite anti-wedding speeches, I'm glad we had them.

I don't like long drawn out ones. One father of the bride one we were at had a PowerPoint of images tracking her growing up. At another it went on for over 20 minutes and included lots of in jokes that only father of the bride's side of the bride's family understood. It was painful.

A friend married a rat.

Small budget wedding, nice service in a church, reception/party at the couple's home afterwards at a small but rustic pretty country cottage.

Needing the loo I thought the bathroom door was a bit sticky ( an old place so lots of wonky handles etc) I gave it a shove and found the groom, trousers round his knees shagging the bridesmaid against the wall of the bathroom.

I closed the door again in haste.....

@stressedmum0f3 Why not have the afternoon and evening guests at the one do, and not have a two-tiered wedding? As I and others have said, you'd save money by having ONE reception, and ONE meal/dessert. I just don't get why the UK has two-tiered weddings, it's like a class system, who is more liked. Just have the one do/reception, everyone all together at the one thing. I had never heard of two-tiered wedding receptions until on here. I would be deeply offended if invited to the 'evening' one.

OMG speakout did you tell your friend?

@BuffaloCauliflower Yours sounds great!

I would be deeply offended if invited to the 'evening' one.

In ied to the evening but not the service is fine by me. Service and then hang aboutvj TIL evening is not on though.

I don't like weddings though, justvthe evening do party dancing bit is great.

One of the nicest weddings I’ve been too was where the bride explained that we were invited to the evening do and welcome to the service but as very apologetic about the wedding breakfast. She had to decide not to invite any of our group of friends. There were a lot of us still in touch from Univeristy so would have really bulked up numbers especially if partners invited. We organised to revisit some old haunts - she’d met a someone whilst at Uni who was local - and had a fab meal. Much nicer than having to be Uber polite to people you don’t really know and hanging about for lots of venue photos. Felt as if we had been fully part. She was really clear and that was the key. They didn’t include anyone and therefore no-one felt left out. None of us had kids at the time which may have helped.

Frizzcat

Re finding the groom shagging the bridesmaid in the toilet.

No I didn't tell the bride- it was a very difficult situation, they had been married for 6 hours.
What could I do- the party was in full swing.
I didn't even tell OH until we got home, I made some excuse to him about not feeling well and we left early.

My heart wasn't in the mood to celebrate after my discovery.

Honestly? Any wedding, anywhere, where the photographs are the main event and everyone else's convenience has to be subjugated to the photographer's needs.

Louder for those at the back! Lord knows why it takes several hours to have your photograph taken.

Honestly? Any wedding, anywhere, where the photographs are the main event and everyone else's convenience has to be subjugated to the photographer's needs.

I agree too.

My SIL was married receently, it took most of the afternoon staging photogaphs, differnt groups, we were all standing around waiting to here for names being called for different groups.
Even the "natural" "impronptu" photographs were all staged.

The photographer was taking photographs of a jolly event that didn't actually happen.

It was like being on a film set rather than a wedding.

The one that was at a famous castle and they served POTATO WEDGES for the evening buffet - after I'd driven 1.5 hours to get there.

we were all standing around waiting to hear for names being called for different groups.

You should just refuse and go and do something more interesting instead. Just because the couple want to waste their own time doesn’t mean you have to. If they want extras for their film they need to pay Equity rates.