To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Op I really would suggest changing things. Remember that people will want to attend the ceremony and will in some cases out of politiness agree to entertain themselves for six hours and the be bored stiff

Absolutely nobody ever wants to pass six hours in bars or wherever while knowing you are off having a lovely time with close family

I went to a wedding exactly like this and honestly it was very tedious passing such a long period of time and then when we rejoined the close family and friends I just felt like a real idiot that we had been sat there in the ceremony but we're not good enough to be fed etc.

A wedding is an event. Ceremony + meal and party. It works when this is organised to suit the guests best. Be a good host and change your timings.

Tbh I really dislike most weddings 😂🤣I find them all really much the same living up to fancy weddings which they think socially is acceptable.
I do love weddings that have the character matching the couple.
My wedding will be at a safari, which will include a 50 people safari, plus a party where we will probably just order chip shop or pizza in haha

Sorry OP, but I think you should try and change the timings so there is a nice lunch near the registry office instead of the evening do. No one wants to have to hang around in their posh clothes all day killing time.

Also op even if you suggest places for them to go - six hours !!! That is such a long time away from home in a random town.

You are forcing them to spend money etc eating out when you are the one that has invited them to the town. You invite them to any part of your wedding then you are host and need to put them first.

Have lunch or move the ceremony time.

Probably a lovely wedding for the family but for me it was awful. 90% of the people in attendance were way older than the bride and us, as in 50+ (me, my friend and the bride are 27), the food was awful, we were sat on a table with older people - the brides mothers cousins. I have no idea why we were sat with them as we have nothing in common and I had one woman telling me about her diabetes over dinner whilst told me about her hip replacement (yawn). I ended up leaving at 8pm.

Haven't rtft sorry. I wonder if the main wedding party should have their photos done before the ceremony? It seems to be the main complaint.

The one on the last and coldest day of the year where we all froze to death standing outside while they took bloody photographs.

Yeah, you can't expect people to kill six hours in their posh clothes

Either the ceremony has to move or the reception has to move.

Sorry

Recent family wedding (young couple).

Rural church. Kids running around everywhere during the ceremony, parents smiling indulgently at the lil darlings.

The priest made a joke about a wife using her husband’s toothbrush to clean the toilet. Referred back to this hilarious joke several times during the mass.

I was sitting near the musicians and singers, who were in full view up near the front. Half of them were barefoot, one started brushing her hair in the singing breaks. One put on deodorant. During the service.

Then the lady next to me started gesturing loudly to her dh (seated several rows away with their 8 month old baby). He proceeded to pass the baby along to her, via 6-7 other relatives. All of them lifted her up to sniff her nappy on the way, debating if she needed a change. During the service.

I couldn’t wait for it to finish, felt like I was taken hostage by hillbillies.

Luckily there was a cup of tea and a cupcake afterwards. Sigh. I had been hoping for a jug of moonshine, but oh well.

The worst wedding I ever went to was by far the most expensive one. It was in a 5* ‘golf’ hotel. The wedding was in a church at 11.30am then we had to drive 20 miles to the reception. The bride and groom went off to have photos taken for hours leaving us swigging champagne and eating hickory almonds for 4 hours until dinner at 6pm, by which point we were all drunk and starving. There are about 250 people and the venue was boiling. There was then a seven course dinner, and each course was huge - all served with a matching wine. By the time the main course arrived we were all stuffed and exhausted. After the endless speeches the bride and groom disappeared to get changed into evening wedding outfits and have more photos taken. By the time they rematerialised at 10.30pm for dancing we were all half asleep. It was just endless and relentless.

The advice I would give is:

1. You’re the host. Remember that lots of people might have travelled for your wedding. Make it easy for them to spend time with you and their friends and family.
2. Have a late afternoon wedding and eat reasonably quickly after. Have plenty of nice food.
3. Don’t bother with things like party favours, bows for chairs, vintage cars, or ridiculous amounts of flowers. People won’t care or remember them. They will care whether they had a good time.
4. Spend your money on a great band or DJ. Get recommendations. The band/DJ makes the party.
5. Be clear with the photographer about what you want, and avoid having photographs taking over the event.
6. Things WILL go wrong. Let it wash over you - there is no point in getting upset as it will ruin your day and Most people won’t notice or care.

@thighofrelief

The problem with this very excellent and logical idea is that the bride cannot be deprived of her ‘wow’ entrance, so the expression of deep love and appreciation can be captured on the groom’s face in front of everyone.

I’m sure mostly the boys are tearing up at the thousands of ££££ spent on a one-wear dress and inch-deep makeup.

If brides could forgo their Instagram ‘moment’, the rest of the day’s running sheet would all fall into place.

I welcomed the guests with my partner (and trays of mocktails) at our wedding. Photos were taken throughout the day, with maybe 5 minutes of arranged shots. I felt no less beautiful or complimented because I made this choice. I didn’t feel any need to control moments (or have guests serve my time preferences). Seems rare.

Just reading through these, why is their a two-tier class-type system with these weddings? An afternoon reception then an evening one? So really two receptions? That is ridiculous. Where I am there is one reception, and that is straight after the wedding. There is no guests A and guests B groups. It is all ONE reception. No wonder you guys spend so much when you have two receptions! You have the ceremony, then the reception after with the one meal and then cake. That's it. Who can afford an afternoon reception AND an evening reception, too? That is where all your money is going. Such a waste, when one reception is all you need. Imagine the money you can save from doing away with the foolishness of this 2-tiered class reception. I had never heard of such a thing until coming on here.

someone started singing in the church they were supposed to but it was all off key

couldnt stop laughing for the rest of the day

I had family only for my afternoon meal and friends joined for the evening. Meant I could spend time with both without feeling rushed or guilty.

I went to one where the cult leader pastor kept banging on about sexual union and all the members of his not in the least cult-like church kept visibly shaking with creepy anticipation at the thought. It was disturbing.

Then when the sibling of this cult brainwashed family got married there were all these speeches about making more money so they can give it to the cult church and breeding quickly and prodigiously to grow the cult church congregation. That was also disturbing. And there was still sexual Union weirdness.

I wonder if I'm the only one reading this thread wondering if I'm going to find my wedding described??

1. Splitting couples up onto different tables. It doesn’t mean everyone mixes and has a good time. I don’t want to be making small talk with some random cousins of the bride.

1. Having to wait for hours and hours at a hotel, with no refreshments provided, for the couple to return from having photos done in umpteen (admittedly pretty) far flung locations.

Friend’s wedding, service was ok but the reception was in a small town pub/hotel and the locals who were in the bar were surly to us visitors who dare invade their pub!

During the speeches the bride (I think embarrassed by the behaviour of the locals) acted quite oddly and started being uncouth herself as if that was what people from that town did . (She did regret it later when she saw the video.)

On the way out at about midnight (we were staying elsewhere, not at the surly pub) we were surrounded by local youths in the car park who jeered and shouted insults and chased after us on the bicycles as we tried to get away.

And 3. Sending ceremony and evening only invites to most guests, so they have to go off and eat in restaurants after the church and reconvene later. Then supply loads of unexpected food at the reception which no one really eats because they already did.

Splitting couples up onto different tables.

People do that? Seriously? Splitting couples between tables?

Fuck that . I’d leave. There and then. You’re being expected to pay money to attend a mediocre meal, and then it turns into a work team-building exercise? WIll you then have to do a presentation about what you learnt?

ReflectentMonatomism Not a wedding but a new year’s eve dinner. I’d been away from my expat DH for months, arrived in the country the day before, and was told by two of the expat wives who lived in the country that I was “not allowed” to sit next to my DH.

First time in that country half way around the world, I knew no one and they were all all older than me.

Luckily I was ballsy and told them I was going to sit next to him because I hadn’t seen him since June!

I went to a wedding where there was no veggie option on the buffet and the flower girls had decided to lick all the cupcakes and then put them back. I went home eight hours later absolutely starving.

Been to loads of weddings over the years. These are my suggestions (for what they're worth):

If you have two cousins of exactly the same age, don't invite one of them to be your bridesmaid and not the other. It is bad form.

If the wedding is not at the reception venue, then make sure there's no more than 15 or 20 minutes travelling between the two.

Ensure that there is loads of transport.

Don't leave guests hanging around for hours on end with nothing to do and nothing to eat or drink while you have endless photos taken. An hour and a half's wait while being plied with drink and canapes is plenty.

Sit like with like.

If there are younger guests present, make sure that the caterers serve the children's main course at the same time as the adults get their starter. There are few things worse than trying to entertain (and keep quiet) fidgety, bored and hungry children while you eat your starter and make small talk with people you've never met before and who look on your offspring with barely veiled annoyance.

And if you are spending hours having a million photos done, try and make sure that all relatives are included in family group photos and not just in the riff raff 'everyone all together' one at the end.

And... MOBs - don't be surprised if your husband's brother and his wife and children don't buy any photos of your offspring's wedding. Take a long hard look at all the umpteen official photos and you will notice that we weren't in any of them. We stood there like lemons among all the other relatives watching the photos being taken, and waiting for our turn. This family group. That family group. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all. It is embarrassing and insulting to find that you have been forgotten. And I know it was your doing, because none of your side got left out, did they?

I don't like to judge but......the weddings I've attended which haven't been the best are usually the ones where there is a lot of waiting around and long waits for food or little food. I went to a wedding which started at 9am and we didn't eat until 7pm. We were in the middle of nowhere so we couldn't even slip off to get food. We were cold and hungry.

@ReflectentMonatomism Yep! It was unreal. For some reason, DH and I (although we weren’t married then) was the only couple in our friendship group who has been allocated the same table. Everyone else was scattered all over the place. It was like the bride and groom had thrown every guest’s name into a hat and filled the tables at random.

Was I at least happy to be on the same table as DH? No I was not. I switched the names around. The bride did comment