To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

I've been to so many bad weddings!
One was a sort of holiday inn type place. The ceremony was at half 9 and the wedding was at half 2. It was miles away from home so we sat in the cafe (which didn't serve food) all morning reading a book.
There were three weddings all taking place at the same time. It felt like a wedding factory. It was also a Christian wedding so no booze. A load of the guests turned up in jeans and tracksuits. The food was terrible. Deep fried roast potatoes that were still frozen on the inside. The DJ kept making horrible remarks about my gay friend. It was dire.

The other was a midday wedding. We got to the venue around half 1, the meal was a barbecue a d was ready as we took our seats. But for some reason it had been decided to have the speeches first. We sat for an hour whilst barbecue food cooled and congealed at the far end of the room for an hour. Then we had to go up table by table buffet style. Our table was last and there was nothing left. We ended up going to the garage for food.
Actually it was a good thing that we did as loads of people got bad stomachs the next day.

From the tales on this thread, and from the experiences of weddings I've attended, it's clear that putting the comfort of your guests as a priority is what makes a good wedding.

If I ever get married, that would be my plan in any case. I've watched programmes like Say Yes To The Dress, and really, there's not much difference between a lower budget dress and a mega expensive dress. People won't really remember the bride's dress (sorry but I can't remember any from the weddings I've attended, except the most recent one). Save your budget and feed your guests.

I've seen references, both on here and elsewhere online, that suggest people should be catering for about 80% of their guests, especially in relation to buffets. Which is contrary to the experiences of guests, who suffer a lack of food, lack of suitable food, eg veggie, especially when the first guests up overload their plates. I think a good compromise is a buffet served by the caterers to ensue all guests get some food.

If I invite people to my future wedding (I'm not even currently dating ) then I want them to be comfortable and well fed, so we can all have a good time.

I'll preface this to say both B&Gs had a lovely day and are still happily married so whatever I think doesn't matter.

1. Church ceremony in a freezing cold church. It was a really hot day so no one was dressed for the church. The reception was in a church hall several miles away. The hall was set up with all the chairs on the outside of the room in a big circle. No food, drink or even music. They didn't tell anyone there wouldn't be any food so we were starving. No one knew each other. It was difficult to stay long enough to be polite!

1. A lovely humanist ceremony (despite the staff having zero interest in actually doing their job). Lots of sitting around. There was meant to be nibbles but none turned up. The actual food was pretty bad (burnt cheap burgers and frozen chips and no veggie option). The dj in the evening played some odd music so no one was dancing. Most guests had disappeared by about 9.

An old friend from uni, so didn't know many people. There was a big gap between church and reception but nothing in it, I mean no drinks, canapés and not even anywhere to stand about. I ended up driving to a nearby McDonalds at a service station. Then when the reception did finally arrive it was in a marquee, no heating so was absolutely freezing. Very very plain food (plain chicken breast, boiled potatoes, a single scoop of ice cream) and long speeches. I made my excuses and left by 7pm. Shame as she's a lovely person and I think was let down by dreadful wedding planners who promised the earth.

Formal, stiff, no fun.

I really don't like buffets at weddings but if you must do this then please make sure you provide enough food, and plenty for vegetarians too. Remember people don't have to be vegetarian to eat vegetarian food. When we order food for events at work, we always order extra vegetarian because lots of people eat the non meat dishes too.

The worst wedding was one of my best friend’s. She chose a lovely venue. It was a 45 minute drive from the church (too long).

For the cocktail hour on arrival (actually over 90 minutes), there were no canapés and only 1 glass of Kir Royale each (no pay bar or other refreshments available!!). It was a hot day and everyone was really parched.

All drinks during the meal were from a pay bar, so there was lots of people getting up and down throughout the meal. Yet she spent a fortune on a 20-piece swing band (that few people could dance to) and at the same time had a casino (her face was printed on the fake money). It really split the guests into two camps.

I thought (but would never say to her) that she didn’t spend her budget very wisely. As a guest, it would have been more hospitable of them to provide more refreshments and instead have a DJ as the only entertainment.

I have never heard of anybody having a wedding, inviting people to the ceremony and then sending people off to wait until the evening reception and then not giving them food. Why would you do that? Are these weddings in the uk?

Oh, yes, it's getting more common. 'Come what us get married, then fuck off for hours whilst the A-list guests get fed. Then come back for the evening, when we might or might not be finished eating because the boring speeches went on forever (who actually listens to these boring speeches? They're such a waste of time! No one CARES! Just 'To the Bride and Groom! Drink up!' will suffice), wait outside and listen to all the special guests, then come in for some expensive drinks and maybe a roll if you're lucky and give us money!

I've noticed it's becoming common to invite people who are far away for just the evening. These are usually issued by couples who think they're doing you a big favour to deign to invite you to their world-special event.

We even had an evening only one for a destination wedding. C'mon. It's really just a gift grab.

caoraich That’s so awful I had a similarly awful experience at a wedding a couple of years ago. The father of the bride in his (excessively long) speech kept making jokes about how chubby his daughter was as a kid, and how they had to keep taking food off her because she loved to eat so much. The bride (now stick-thin) was laughing along next to him like it was some hilarious family in-joke, but she had been my housemate for a few years and I knew she had terrible food issues. It was unbearable to listen to and a few things from my time living with her suddenly made an awful lot of sense.

fake money with the bride's face on
😂 😂 😂 😂!!

Midweek wedding, 200 miles away from home and we were obliged to go as close family. It was in a country house in the middle of nowhere and the ceremony was at 11.30am. We then had to wait while photos were taken and then the bride and groom mingled for a while until 4.30pm with no drinks and no canapés provided in the meantime (there was an expensive cash bar) before sitting down for the meal. It was speeches first, including a power point presentation of photos. Once the 'official' speeches were out of the way random guests then made it known that they wanted to say a few words (but it never was just a few words!).

There was also a pretty awful evening reception which we were invited to, despite being sent a save the date card for the whole day The venue was hellish to find, there wasn't enough seating, the bar was ridiculously expensive (£9 for half pint of lager and a Diet Coke) and the bar staff were prioritising serving the pretty young things first so we had to wait around 10 minutes to be served. Food was just a barbecue - burger or sausage - and nothing else. The bride didn't bother to speak to her guests and five years on we still haven't had a thank you, in any form, for our gift of money (the thank you can't have got lost in the post as the couple live across the road from us).

For me to no no are

Evening guest (never again - feel like second best )

I have actually only been to nice weddings OP . The love and family feel tends to prevail regardless of venue and food

Friend from unis wedding. 4 hour drive. Another 45 minutes to reception venue (no transport, okay for us and we ended up with a car full).
B&G disappeared for 2 hours for photos and then did speeches before meal. Best Man did speech ‘free style’ with no preparation and rambled on for 45 minutes. Then there was the grooms and then the father of the bride and then the father of the groom...
They were all shit speeches as well.
Small meal arrives eventually. No where else to get food.

We also had loads of issues with our room and the hotel refused to do anything about them.

Really the worst was one of my closest friends who decided on a venue she couldn’t afford so only invited most people to the night do.
Miles out of town and so everyone just drove (and didn’t drink).
The reception room was massive and it was just empty with zero atmosphere.
The main issue was we never saw B&G, there was no welcome and the bride only waived at us from across the room, I never even saw the groom. We spent the entire evening discussing when we though we could leave. There was no drinks and a dreadful tiny buffet was served with no veggie choices (there were 4 on our table). Honestly it was just plain rude and she lost a lot of friends over it. We took our gift home with us.

Even went to an almost dry wedding ( bride was AA) and strangely I didn’t really mine at it was such a lovely day and venue !

Worst was when I drank absinthe and was so drunk I wet the bed and they vollocked me at reception

Worst wedding ever = no food - not a single thing and we had to buy our own drinks!

And that wasn't just the evening do - that was it!!!

Please don't think that mixing your guests will be a good opportunity for them to get to know each other. It doesn't always work!
I've been to several weddings and the ones where we were sat with friends meant a relaxed atmosphere whereas the one where we were separated and mixed with strangers never got off the ground!

Oh and remember the day is about you and your partner and not the masses. Don't get caught up in doing anything that isn't what you both want. X

I went to a reallyyyyyy boring one. Sit down meal, no music or entertainment so after the meal there really was nothing to do. Most left by 9.30pm.
Wedding cake was the dessert.
My 2.5 year old wasn't ordered a meal even though the bride knew that she ate a lot so I ended up giving 2.5 year old half my meal

Perhaps it's purely a matter of personal taste but twee and OTT little flourishes like champagne fountains when there's a hefty charge for the bar don't tend to sit well with guests. My SiL did this; another wedding where a huge amount of time was spent waiting around for photographs. Why do people do this? The formal ones end up identikit, whereas reportage style doesn't entail frustrating your guests in this manner and is much more spontaneous, natural and individual.

The key issue here though was Bridey's utterly selfish behaviour running true to type. It was HER day therefore no consideration deemed necessary to any other family members. Serious issues with sick relatives didn't put her off charging in like a bulldozer with wedding-related (trivial) demands. Father of Bride required to travel in entourage from MiL's home, whom he still hates subsequent to their very bitter divorce. Cue FiL makes pointed digs in his speech, which is extremely awkward and causes mortification to several family members.

Here's a view I've never before shared. Unpardonable though this behaviour was, I privately thought it served her damned well right. A great example of reaping what you sow, and having it come back to bite your on your sorry arse!

Bridezilla. It ain't big, cute, or clever.

A register office wedding. A toddler screamed very very VERY loudly all through the vows. Toddler was not taken out. No one could hear the vows at all.

It was about six months before my own wedding. I attended the screaming-toddler wedding with my now-DH and his parents. His parents were so scarred by the screaming-toddler experience that they were fully on board when we suggested we'd like to make our wedding child-free! Which we did.

OP, I'm guessing that family political reasons are behind you not being able to change the time of the reception.

Is there any way you can change the time of the ceremony to be later in the day? IE reduce the gap until the reception?

Been to two in particular where the lack of food and hangry guests spoilt it and led to people simply disappearing from the venue.

If your having a ceremony at 11.00 or onwards, guests are going to miss lunch if you fuck about with photos for a couple of hours.

I agree about mixing guests. It's very unlikely that the people meeting each other for the first time at a wedding are going to get on so well that they become firm buddies.

I reckon each person on a table should know at least half the people on that table.

There were harps played someone sang... most portentous wedding ever !! It was actually quite depressing ..