To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Why did you go, pink? We decline destination weddings as a rule. And yes, that applies to close friends and relatives.

A very good friend of mine got married last Summer and my DH were witnesses. It was a registry office with only 12 of us in total and was really personal and relaxed. After the ceremony ended we all clapped and everyone started taking photos. We then went in a big taxi to a lovely country pub and had a meal. It was perfect. The other great wedding which stands out to me is a friend of a friend's wedding in 1995 where I went as a plus 1. The ceremony was held in a community centre with a buffet afterwards. It was all very informal and we bought our own drink from the off licence for the reception.

I'm with you Plump. Never go to a destination wedding.

Have more food than you need because being hungry at a wedding is the worst

We were asked by a friend 18 months before the wedding to clear our diary. It’s in the middle of August so limits our holiday plans.

Invite comes and it’s an evening only invite. I don’t mind evening only but why go to all the fuss of getting us to clear our diary’s when we clearly aren’t all that important to you.

A January wedding and it was an exceptionally cold day. The church was a 30 minute drive from the reception venue (a barn venue in the middle of nowhere). The church service was at midday so only breakfast before the ceremony, then a long wait for dinner, the few canapés served did not keep you going until dinner. Tiny portions at dinner and the evening buffet run out feeding only half the guests. It was really just an exercise in being cold and hungry for 12 long hours.
That said the bride and groom didn't notice any of this and had a great day and have been married for a lot of years now, so that's what matters.

Being stuck for hours on a table I had been allocated with complete strangers and several small children. I don't like small children and the other people on the table said nothing and were as boring as hell.
It was not great watching all my actual friends and family having a great time across the room. i have no idea why I was allocated the kiddy table and I was extremely pissed off.

@UbbesPonytail Are the couple now aware of how weird it was? Have they said anything, like they regret the planning?

Worst wedding: The couple were very unorganised to the point where they were trying to book a DJ a month before the wedding (who was awful). There was around 200 hundred guests but everything was planned terribly and there was a huge break between the ceremony and reception. Which led to hundreds of people standing around outside in the cold for 4 hours drinking to pass the time. Everyone was wasted. A couple got caught by the photographer having sex under a tree he was trying to capture from across the lake. Another couple were spotted by guests getting at it in a nearby bush. The bride found a groomsman giving another guest a BJ in the kitchen off her bridal suite.

Best wedding: clearly biased but my own. 40 guests. Wedding was at 1.30 followed by drinks and a sit down meal at 3.30 at the same Manor House/ restaurant we got married in. Drinks and dancing resumed by 5.30, evening buffet at 7.30 and at 12 a bus took everyone back to a nearby complex of cottages they had rented. We stayed in the hotel and they carried on the all night party far away. We joined them the next day for day two of celebrations.

Not the same wedding but various things from several weddings!

We were evening guests and turned up at the venue to be asked to sit in a corridor while they finished the meal. Nowhere to get drinks etc. Sat there for 2 hours while they finished dinner, speeches, first dance and cake cutting before letting the evening guests in.

Another where the wedding was at 1, meal not served until nearly 7 with just a glass of Prosecco in between. Nothing to do or eat!

One wedding had a DJ who refused to play requests (or any songs with actual lyrics!) and then ranted over the microphone about how he wasn’t there to play our shit requests and if we didn’t like it we could leave.

Oh! And the one where I was bridesmaid but the bride refused to talk to me all day because my gift wasn’t expensive enough (I’d just lost my job).

Op- have a bring and share meal straight after the ceremony in a village hall. They are always brilliant because everyone does their best dish, there is always tons of brilliant food, and the more people you invite the better it gets. Task someone with keeping an eye on the table and labelling veggie/gluten free etc. Paper plates. You provide beer and soft drinks and some wine if you can stretch to that. See if friends will decorate for you, tbh tablecloths and balloons will be fine.

I've never been to a really bad wedding but I do hate gaps and hanging about.

One of the best ones I went to had taken the two hour wait and treated almost like a separate party. It was in the country hotel - she had hired a bouncy castle and children's entertainer, she also had a table magician for the adults, I hate magic but this guy was funny, just walking around guests doing close up tricks and telling stories and jokes. It was a real ice breaker. There was plenty of FREE soft drinks and wine and bottled beer. I don't know how but she had provided her own canapés, she ordered a load of mini sandwhich and dessert platters from Marks & Spencer which she had delivered to her aunts that morning and a neighbour brought them to the venue.

The two hours flew by. When it was time to go into dinner, magician, entertainer went home and the bouncy castle was collected.

I spoke her about it afterwards and she said, she halved her dress budget ( she looked stunning) to pay for the two hour wait extras but said it was worth it to see everyone enjoying themselves.

Dneice wedding.We had to indicate on RSVP if we wanted lifts from ceremony to reception. Everybody drove off and left us while we waited for the promised lift. Last person to leave was twatty bm who just said 'sorry I can't help, Iv got to get to the reception now' So make sure your best man does his job.
Best weddings were the was an endless supply of Pimms, Bucks Fizz and soft drinks on a hot day while the photos were being taken. And my own dd's wedding at a beautiful old country house. The classical quarter played on the terrace and we had a magician to entertain during the photos

ThereWill we had the same thing a couple of years ago- wedding the week before Christmas, told to keep diaries clear a year before. Invite came and was evening only- 7:30 arrival. Our toddler needed to be in bed for 7, so no way was he going. Decided we couldn’t be bothered at all that close to Christmas, with no family available to babysit.

4 hours between meal and evening reception with nothing to do but drink. It was not fun!

I went to the most fantastic wedding in France many decades ago. It was so sumptuous. It was held in a beautiful old country house and there was fabulous food served all the time. Dh and I have healthy appetites but even we were defeated by the endless canapes and other amazing food being served. We all arrived to the civil reception in the town hall, then back to the house for champagne and canapes. Later We made our way to the church (across the road) for the religious ceremony then back to the house for more champagne and lovely food. The groom's mother and father had a massive public barney in the middle of it all so I'm sure it wasn't ideal for the b&g but it didn't detract from the day. It was a rural village and we stayed with friends of the family in an equally beautiful house.

I think whatever you're going to do, even if it's sandwiches and squash there needs to be buckets of it and no waiting around so rethink that part OP. Even an hour waiting while the b&g have photos is tedious.

It shouldn't be a punishment to attend your big day but often it is!

PatchworkElmer

We are thinking of using lack of babysitters as an excuse too. I don’t mind an evening invite normally. But I’m taking the hump over this particular one.

Years ago my future DH and I went to the wedding of his friend, looked at the seating plan and found we had been placed at the head of a long table of children. Felt really embarrassed. Afterwards the bride laughed and said it was a mistake. Why was it on the seating plan then?

Another wedding, even longer ago, where the bride cried all through the ceremony. I think she 'had' to get married. I was only about 12 so didn't really understand. Then at the reception there weren't enough tables and chairs for everyone to actually sit down and eat. It was grim. And a lot of family tension due to stepfather of b or g not being seated at top table.

Ohh this will out me if any of my friends are reading but whatever. And it wasn’t the bride or groom’s fault but...

Went to a ‘child free’ wedding where one couple had brought their small baby (maybe about 4 months old). I don’t have kids. I got chatting to the parents, who I had never met before in my life, and made small-talk about how old she was etc, and how beautiful. Mother asks me if I’d like to hold her so I say ok, sure.

Mum then fucks off for an HOUR. Dad nowhere to be found. Confused friends kept coming over and asking me whose baby it was and why I was holding it instead of joining them on the dance floor.

Mum eventually wanders back over to get something from her bag and give a cursory look at how baby is doing. She’s clearly intending to head straight back on to the dance floor and says a very unconvincing, reluctant ‘I mean, I can take her back if you want....’

I practically threw the baby at her (not literally of course) and ran away. I was furious. Who the fuck thinks a total stranger wants to babysit a child they’ve never met before at a wedding??

I had flown thousands of miles to get to that wedding and wanted to spend the evening catching up with my friends, not playing nanny!

Best wedding was DH's cousin. Really relaxed atmosphere. Registry office ceremony, everyone welcome to take photos

Transport to the reception venue, discounted hotel rooms

Mixed tables - we met some people there we're still friends with

Lovely meal - vegetarian but even the hardened meaties lapped it up

Very funny, short & touching speeches

Live band that could play practically everything

Great buffet later on in the evening

The whole atmosphere was of joy and fun.

Any ones where there just wasn't enough food.

One had a hog roast where the guests got just a single roll each and the gravy and apple sauce ran out after the first handful of people. I would have eaten the salad instead but the staff were using the same serving spoons for the salad with bits of Stilton in to serve the vile non mouldy-cheese salad so I couldn't have any as they were both quickly full of Stilton.
Another had one serving each of a hot meal and no seconds so unless you piled your plate high that's all you got. There was plenty of food leftover but it was whipped away immediately by staff when people were eating. Many took just a small serving of the one dish intending to go back to get a serving of the other. As long as your guests are fed good food that they don't have to wait until near starvation to get all will be great.

Plump we went because they are close friends, and my DH pretty much insisted that declining wasn't an option. They are normally quite considerate, I just think they couldn't see the bigger picture.

It was pretty grim though, the first topic of conversation for everyone there was 'and how did you manage to get here?' as it was just so inconvenient. Wednesday, who the hell has a Wednesday wedding abroad?????

Oh, and there was an air traffic controllers strike on the way back, and with the infrequent flights several people where stranded for 3 days and missed the start of the school year. Couldn't make it up really

I went to one with my brother when SIL wasn’t able to go. The church was lovely then we all got bussed to a football ground for the reception while bride and groom had photographs done. We got put into a small empty room, no tables no seats, no food no drinks for 3 fucking hours. Women’s shoes become items of torture after so long! The reception was nice run of the mill identikit wedding. That wait though, have seats at least as not all guests can stand for 3 hours. There was nowhere to go and I ended up sitting on the floor. Have some food and drinks and seats during the waiting, a wedding breakfast is usually tiny portions so people will still be able to eag it even if you have provided a small buffet or bite to eat.

ANother one with a loooooong gap, wedding ceremony at 1 followed by 1 drink then the meal was at 6, the bar was so expensive and there was nothing to do, we didn't know anyone else other than the Bride and my DH isn't a natural mixer.

Oh and it was pissing it down so we couldn't leave even if we wanted to.