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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

816 replies

Whereisthecoffee · 20/01/2019 14:31

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 20/01/2019 17:23

Whilst the wedding itself was nice, there was one where there was several hours between the ceremony and evening do, and no entertainment put on, so everyone just sat around for hours. Invariably people got bored so started drinking, so half the guests were f*cked by the time the evening do started.

FuckOffMeadowSoprano · 20/01/2019 17:23

Worst ones are always

Distance between ceremony and reception
Anything longer than a 2hr gap between ceremony and food.
Middle of bloody nowhere weddings that cost £70 in taxis.
Being underfed.

I also hate when people invite you to the ceremony and night do but not the meal. It's rude and cheap.

TrickyKid · 20/01/2019 17:24

Any where you have to wait to eat for too long and have to sneak off to McDonald's.

MrsMcW · 20/01/2019 17:25

Mexican themed wedding. Food was abysmal and cold, cash bar didn't accept credit cards (and I hadn't brought cash), only booze that was free were tequila shots. No free soft drinks after dinner either.

My chief memory is one of the bridesmaids vomiting into a sombrero.

Sera22 · 20/01/2019 17:26

Can't say I've been to many terrible ones, but based on things I've found have and haven't worked well across a selection of them, I think the main things to keep in mind, whether you're going big or small and traditional or a bit alternative are:

-hold all aspects (ceremony, meal, evening party) in one place if possible. Failing that, in places that are close together and try to provide transport.

-avoid huge gaps between the different aspects. where there are gaps, try to ensure there's something to do and some form of food or drink.

-in particular, try to avoid a super-long photo session for the sake of both guests and the couple. You want a few lovely photos, but surely also want to have time to chat to people over a glass of champagne - and get some food before hours have passed

-conversely, if it's an event where everyone's staying in the same hotel or something, a gap between the meal and the evening party that's long enough for people to have a nap and/or get changed can be quite a good idea

-try to do the seating plan so guests are sat with people they know and like or, if they don't know many people, are likely to have at least something in common with

-allow partners if possible, particularly in the case of guests who don't know many other guests

-try to avoid inviting people neither of you really like or that you know are at risk of causing a scene

-make sure there's plenty of food throughout

-either provide plenty to drink or at least ensure there's a plentiful supply of reasonably priced drinks for people to purchase.

-provide as much detail as possible both with the invitations and on the day about timings, breaks, exactly who's invited, what is and isn't included etc

-try to ensure there's plenty of seating during the reception, for the benefit of both older guests and those who've been in stilettos all day!

-try to have indoor and outdoor space - or if outdoor focused, at least some shelter from both rain and boiling sun - and to keep indoor temperatures under control.

-try to keep the ceremony and the speeches to a reasonable length

  • if you're having a big wedding but money is tight, aim to spend a bit more on the things that will make it actually fun for guests and a bit less on making yourself and the venue look pretty or on things that no one really cares about
  • don't start too early in the morning, particularly if some guests have a long way to travel. but even if they don't, it's an exhausting day for people if you go right through from a mid-morning ceremony to a late night party

-the worst thing is when the bride and/or groom is clearly stressed or not enjoying themselves, so do whatever you need to do to avoid that, even if it contradicts some of the points above!!

jessstan2 · 20/01/2019 17:30

Many years ago I went to a church wedding where the vicar asked for a collection to be taken up for church funds. That's the only time I've ever known that to happen - it just doesn't happen! I felt very embarrassed for the bride and groom, it was totally unexpected.

Then we went to the reception in the church hall and it was freezing cold.

The three tier iced cake had orange coloured plastic roses on it.
--
Something funny from when I was five years old and a bridesmaid at a cousin's wedding. I clearly remember her grandmother collapsing, a nice elderly lady whom I knew quite well. My aunt (cousin's mum), was upset, naturally enough she didn't want her mum in law to be ill.

Years later I was reminiscing and asked my mother what was wrong with the lady. Mum told me she was drunk, fell over and my two uncles couldn't pick her up so they had to drag her along the floor holding her under the arms.

sashh · 20/01/2019 17:31

I know you asked for horror stories but I experienced something genius.

The bride allocated all her friends a 'someone to look after', the people being looked after didn't know.

I was given the groom's mother as she was widowed and had no other children so my 'job' was to make sure she had company and that she always had a drink and food when it was served.

Bad things - when there was a children's meal but the adults were served first and the children had to wait an hour for some chicken nuggets.

I went to one wedding near Xmas, the venue phoned the night before to say there had been a double booking so the wedding had to share with an Xmas party.

There was supposed to be mulled wine on arrival, there wasn't and the bride was starting to freak out.

I put on my busy body hat and went to find the hotel manager who was in the bar area. While waiting for him to finish a phone call someone ordered a drink from the bar, "on the wedding tab" I asked him to name either bride of groom and told the staff (had gone from BB to bolshie) that no one from the wedding had got to the bar so the tab should still be intact and to stop serving people on the tab.

When we went to check out the following day the hotel tried to charge us for meal in the restaurant.

SaIemTheBlackCat · 20/01/2019 17:33

Why is there a big gap? Where I am, photos don't take more than an hour to 2 hours, and guests go straight to the wedding reception and the married couple show up to the reception later, and introduced as 'may we present Mr and Mrs …………...' etc to claps and cheers. Why in the UK does it take so incredibly long to get photos done, and why aren't receptions held straight after the ceremony?

Satsumaeater · 20/01/2019 17:34

I've not been to that many. But one of the reasons for that was I was put off by one I went to where we were only invited to the evening bit (bride and groom had been invited all day to ours) and by the time we got there everyone was pissed, had got to know each other during the day and we felt very out of place. Nothing very awful, it just put us off.

Since then I have never been to an evening-only event and the other ones I've been invited to were overseas when ds was small so we didn't go. Last one I went to was in 2004! But dnephew is getting married this year.

SaIemTheBlackCat · 20/01/2019 17:35

Meant to say that the reception usually starts while the couple are getting the photos done, because otherwise people would just be standing around doing nothing, and that doesn't make sense to anyone.

JustDanceAddict · 20/01/2019 17:38

Def any big gap between ceremony and reception. I get there has to be photos but when it goes on for ages or it’s miles away with no parking, tedious.
When we had ours I tried to make that but at short as poss - there was food, drink, shade, seating etc.

Went to one years ago - travelled 100 miles or so with another couple for an evening do (old uni mates so. Bit of a reunion). The food on offer was just bog standard sandwiches (cheese on white) and crisps. We had fun with our friends but it was a bit of a grim do!

FevertreeLight · 20/01/2019 17:38

Many years ago I went to a church wedding where the vicar asked for a collection to be taken up for church funds. That's the only time I've ever known that to happen - it just doesn't happen!

Totally normal- just like any church service. Usually the couple contribute additionally as well as the standard costs- especially if not on the parish electoral roll.

GruciusMalfoy · 20/01/2019 17:39

I feel quite bad saying this, because it was the wedding of a good friend...

There was no sit down meal (fine) but when it came to the buffet time there wasn't enough to go around, so I literally had one small triangle of a cheese sandwich, and a sausage roll. There wasn't anywhere nearby to get a sneaky bag of chips or similar.

Then the DJ was about an hour late, so it seemed like there was a lot of waiting around with no atmosphere (there was no other music or anything being played in the background).

Violetroselily · 20/01/2019 17:40

Hottest day of the year - obviously this couldn't be helped, but the venue was mostly outdoors and there was a serious lack of water and soft drinks. I nearly went home during the wedding breakfast because I felt so ill from the heat and hayfever.

No money behind the bar and ridiculously expensive drinks

supersop60 · 20/01/2019 17:41

Big, fancy, Hello!-funded wedding, but we waited 5 hours in between the ceremony and the dinner while they took photos. Only canapes and lots of alcohol available. Not the best plan.

pinkcardi · 20/01/2019 17:45

Mid-week wedding abroad. Forced to stay in accommodation with B&G which was over priced, dark, dingy and miles from anywhere. Location was hours from nearest airport which had very infrequent flight and it was cold/raining the entire week.

They didn't even have any connection to this random European country, just fancied it.

My blood still boils.

SpinachOrKale · 20/01/2019 17:46

Worst most excruciating wedding I went to was when groom's ex-girlfriend sobbed throughout the wedding breakfast and speeches. Literally mascara all down her face, red eyes, proper shoulder-heaving sobs. It was in a marquee and wasn't a huge wedding so everyone could see / hear.

Bride was LESS than impressed. Groom didn't know where to look. His ex-girlfriend's fiancé looked rather upset too...

Top Tip: don't invite any ex girlfriends or boyfriends!

pinkcardi · 20/01/2019 17:47

Oh, and another wedding where bride was 45 mins late, ceremony was 1.5hrs long. Then an hours drive to venue.

No cards accepted at the venue, no cash machine, no warning to take cash.

One drink each at reception, no snacks, no seats.

Minimal drinks during meal.

1hr delay between meal and band.

Venue freezing cold. So sober, cold, hungry, tired and facing a walk back to accommodation along unlit country roads.

Sigh

PlumpSyrianHamster · 20/01/2019 17:48

Totally what happened to FuckOffMeadowSoprano. Then add in some twatty poem telling guests to give the couple money.

We decline any invitation that's at a middle of nowhere venue and they want the guests to pay for rooms there - that is just a flag saying, 'We want the guests to pay for our venue' and you just know it's going to be one of those weddings with little food and expensive drink, bunch of fluff and all about making good Instagram fodder.

LanaorAna2 · 20/01/2019 17:48

When the groom's oh-so hilarious speech centred around the bride refusing his proposal seven times. No one laughed. They split on the honeymoon.

whatnametouse · 20/01/2019 17:48

Under catered weddings are the worst - people seem to be all over Pinterest and will be telling you “of we have a cheese station” etc but then do that to feed 20 people sparingly when they have invited 200 so that they can get lots of gifts (now generally asking for money)

PlatypusPie · 20/01/2019 17:48

One where bride’s parents were trying very hard not to look appalled at the awful man their daughter was marrying. He turned out to be even worse than everyone feared ( criminal, faithless, feckless) His family were also trying their best at first but were nervous after the groom’s father realised that he had been up in front of the bride’s mother a few times in the Magistrate’s Court.

Lifeofsmiley · 20/01/2019 17:49

The two worst weddings I have been to had food related issues.
1st was about 150 guests sharing a buffet which would have at most served 75. There was nothing left for about half the guests and not because the other guests had taken too much.
2 nd was nothing to eat for the evening guests,buffet , cake or anything. It was the talk of the place. Even the hotel staff couldn’t believe it .

Buddytheelf85 · 20/01/2019 17:49

It went on from 12 til 6 - there was the service, a drinks reception, lunch, and then it ended. So nothing in the evening - no dancing or anything. All the guests were mixed up at the tables - no one was sat near anyone they knew, not even their husband or wife.

Clionba · 20/01/2019 17:50

The queue at the buffet was 45 mins.

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