AIBU ginger hair

[Guineapiglet345]

I have ginger hair as does my daughter, I was bullied horrendously at school because of it and I worry that when my daughter goes to school she’ll be bullied too.

AIBU to hate it when strangers come up to me in the street and point out my daughter’s hair and say “oh, what an unusual colour” etc.

To me it feels as though may as well be pointing at her and saying “she’s different, she’s not one of us” also does it not occur to them that since I’ve got ginger hair and I’m in my mid thirties that it’s not a novelty to me, it’s just normal?

Dh has red hair and when I was pregnant I did get a couple of comments from a work colleague along the lines of - 'what would you do if it comes out ginger' and ' I couldn't love a ginger baby.'
Lots of people (including me) told her she was out of order. I do think that attitude is dying out and is being challenged more these days

My 16 year old is ginger and he has never experienced any issues with bullyjng. He is very confident and self assured.

I was ginger before I started to go grey and I did get teased back in the 70's but times are definitely different now.

People may comment because it is still more unusual and often very beautiful.

I spent my whole childhood being teased for my red hair and then as I hit adulthood, all the comments about what beautiful hair Colour I have started and only stopped when it faded and started to go grey.

I've got red hair and was badly bullied. My young child also has red hair and I worry about them being bullied too.

What pisses me off more than anything is that it seems to be acceptable in society!

People aren't allowed to bully for race, gender, religion, disability but it seems ok to to have a go at someone for being ginger. Wtf is that about?!

DD11 has beautiful, long, curly, streaky blonde and ginger hair - we call it marmalade mermaid hair. She likes the colour but wishes it wasn't curly. I love her hair and would trade my boring brown right now. I hoped for a red-headed baby girl and I am so lucky.

From the time she was an infant, people have constantly complimented her colouring and usually then tell me a sweet story about their female relative who had similar hair.

In yr6, an insecure pillock in her class started calling her and another boy, with similar coloured hair, 'ginger ninja'. I'm not sure it was done meanly but it still was annoying. None of the other pupils had ever heard this or knew what it meant - they're a pretty sheltered lot .
I had a word with the head and she nipped it utterly.

As others suggest, do build up your DD with compliment about her beautiful hair and remind yourself that many of us would switch with you in a heartbeat. Also, a quick, humorous reply often nips any teasing so 'yah, but your hair is boring' or some such could be just the ticket.

My DD has red hair and had nothing but positive comments about it (she is 16 now). She loves her hair colour and likes the fact she is different to her peers.

I'm afraid to say that it's more likely to happen as your DCs get older. My dd got teased lots in secondary school. Hardly a day went by when someone didn't make a comment in the corridors. She noticed it stopped when she became a prefect in year 11 though.
She even has to put up with shit comments from teachers. Her college tutor this week made a joke about it. He was filling out a reference for her and said he would add on the end 'but you don't want her because she's ginger'!! He thinks he's allowed because he was ginger, before his now grey colour.
Her science teacher at school teaching about genetics once told the class about parents choosing to not going ahead with a pregnancy if they discovered the child had a genetic mutation such as ginger hair and blue eyes. Whilst my dd was sat right in front of him (she has both of these).
Thankfully dd mostly loves her hair and is now able to rise above these sort of comments. But it's disgusting people with ginger hair have to put up with this.

My 2 DD have the most beautiful red hair. They get compliments ALL the time, from their friends and strangers alike. I really don't think it's the same as it was even 15years ago when I was at school. People have apparently grown out of idiocy 🤷 x

Tell your daughter about ginger festivals. There are loads of them in the U.K. and Europe.

I also don't think being bullied for having ginger hair is a thing anymore. My 7 year old had brown hair and wishes she had ginger hair.

@tarheelbaby honestly when I was a kid it didn’t matter how many adults told me how beautiful my hair was or that they would swap with me, it just felt like they were minimising the bullying and I would have given anything to just blend in to the crowd.

I teach in high school and there are lots of ginger and red headed girls. None of them bullied, it’s actually a really popular colour with teens and we’re having lots of girls dying their hair in various forms of red.

It’s a beautiful colour. I love it.

Growing up in the 90s, I noticed anyone with anything that stood out got bullied or teased so yes, the redheads but then again, people used to get it for wearing glasses as well. Those things aren't considered unusual anymore and things have gone the other way. You get more people trying to look individual than trying to confirm or 'fit in'.
Just my opinion but I think ginger hair is stunning and so must others but I'd imagine it gets very tedious to have just constantly pointed out.

I had auburn hair as a child and was bullied for it.

Both my boys have bright red hair and my eldest in particular (now 23) had a terrible time at school.

My youngest, with 7 years between them not so much.

Gradually over the years, they are finding that ginger hair is a lot more acceptable and "cooler" due to Ed Sheeran and Prince Harry etc. They now seem to embrace it.

Try not to worry.

My dd is 6 and has ginger hair. She is one of 2 girls in her class with ginger hair. Neither of them have ever been teased although they are young. We often had people commenting on her hair especially when she was younger and more often abroad but it always felt like a compliment. Maybe due to your negative experiences you’re not taking the comments in the way they are intended?

I do think times have changed and as an upper primary school teacher I have never encountered any bullying towards any of the redheads I have taught over the years.

My friends has red hair and was bullied about it all through school.

Her 3 children all have red hair. She says it’s an amazing relief that non of them get bullied because of it. She says the difference in attitude towards it these days in school is marked.

However, she says that men of a certain ilk and age still have their heads in the dark ages and still throw her the odd abusive comment. Especially if she doesn’t respond to their crude form of flirting

I've two DC with ginger hair. Only people who've ever said anything to them or me are adults who say how much they love the hair colour.
Neither have had anything negative at school or with friends at all (not yet anyway).
Red hair is fairly prevalent up here in the NE so I wonder if that's got something to do with it.

I was never bullied for having red hair but it was commented on a lot and I didn't like it when I was very young. When I was about 6 I vowed to dye it black as soon as I was old enough but by that time I had come to love it. Now I am in my 60s and dye it back to its original colour.

Although it was very unusual when I was at school I think it is much more common now. I always had at least one red head in my class when I was teaching.

I have ginger hair but I was never bullied at all as a child. I have 4 ginger daughters 😄 and pretty much every time we go out we get comments about their hair . I just see them as compliments ! No one has ever said anything negative at all!

The French modelling agencies come to Ireland and the UK looking for red haired morals. They are seen as unique and more beautiful than brunettes or blondes and their salary reflects that! If you're blonde and go to the non touristy places in India and Asia people will comment on the colour and total strangers will walk up and touch your hair.

You should try to instil confidence and happiness in your dc for her uniqueness and help her celebrate herself, rather than let your experiences colour her feelings that difference is bad. People commenting are not saying it's bad, but that's it's fabulous. You are rewriting their comments because of your experiences. Your feelings about being ginger are much more likely to influence your dc's feelings about her hair than a bully will. If you project confidence she will too.

Something has changed over the years. I have red hair and was constantly bullied about it as a child. My daughter has stunning red hair and she says she has never had one negative comment about it.
There's probably a masters thesis in there for someone to explore why people in England don't bully redheads so much anymore

I had blonde hair growing up and it was foreverbeing commented on (unusual, lovely, etc). As an adult hairdressers asked who did my colour. I never thought it was insulting or pointing me out as being other.

I think you're carrying some of your own hang ups there. "What an unusual colOur!" Would be intended as a compliment.

I always say how stunning it is! Ginger hair is absolutely beautiful! Especially little ones with it. (Although I tend to say red rather than ginger) I do the same with freckles too.. (although I have lots of freckles Scottish genes so may be a little biased)

My son is blonde like his father and doesn’t have my auburn colouring but he has got freckles and I tell him constantly how lucky he is to have them and how beautiful they are

As strange as it sounds, times have changed so much. Ginger hair is much more accepted, especially in girls. Which it shouldn't have to be accepted - I know how messed up that sounds, I just mean red heads have it easier than they used too.

Gosh I can't believe how messed up that whole paragraph sounds I just hope that you can get my gist 😫

DS aged 20 has long ginger hair which he's always loved, and a friend has a DS aged 13 with his plenty of curly ginger hair. Both feel happy about their hair and neither have ever been bullied or teased due to it, so hopefully times are changing. The only time DS had any fuss about his hair was as a small child holidaying in countries where red hair isn't a natural colour, and he had women and teenage girls wanting to stroke or kiss his head 😀

@BlancheM yes, it is very tedious to have it constantly pointed out, she’s so much more than just her hair colour!

@Quarepants no offence but blonde isn’t quite the same as blonde is more associated with being beautiful and desirable whereas ginger is more associated with being ugly and different, I bet no ones ever said to you that if they had a blonde child they’d drown them a birth or that they couldn’t live a blonde baby.

@ohthats I always say ginger now because my parents always said to me it’s not ginger it’s auburn which I’d (in my naivety) repeat to the bullies and that just gave them more ammunition to bully me.