To email school AGAIN re religious assemblies

[pineapplepenthouse]

I have twins in year 4 both in different classes. I have expressed my feelings about not letting them be involved in religious assemblies or having anything to do with religion. My children are in different classes. Today for the third time my DDs has come home saying he has been included in the religious assembly.
I have strong feelings on this but other mums just say 'it's not a big deal' and 'it didn't do us any harm'.

AIBU?

What has happened in previous years OP?

I'm not religious, total atheist intact and also live in Scotland.

Daughter is 13 and at high school and we chat about beliefs etc. She's more or less following my take on religion. Taking them out of all religion based stuff is a pain imo though. We do live in a society that is structured around age old religion (marriage, funeral, christmas presents, Easter goodies) so I think it's better to learn how to juggle and navigate the anomalies and contradictions we all participate in than just a blanket ban. Makes for a more rounded person, I think on how to deal with life.

I'm also vegetarian but don't opt out of eating in restaurant serving meat, and so on and so on.

In previous years my kids have been excluded from anything religious. My DDS5 teacher things it's silly we disagree with teaching Christian belief.
Sorry don't meant to drip feed!

Op I've had the same battle for 4 years now, also at a "non-faith" school in Scotland.

My issue is that right from the first nativity my daughter has questioned why I don't believe in god, will I not go to heaven, jesus saved us etc. She's now at 8 a believer because she learned it at school so it must be true. It's absolutely ridiculous and should be stopped. She didn't go to church at easter, end of terms etc because I wrote to the school but I had to keep her off as there was no alternative provided. She has been going for the past year because she now says she wants to and I won't stop her or tell her she can't if thats what she believes. She'll clearly grow out of it but it just has no place in schools and has ruined 5 years worth of "this is what christians believe, this is what muslims believe, and lots of people don't believe" etc.

The school needs to accept christianity has no place there in this day and age.

It's really not about why you want him withdrawn, or whether the teacher, or MN posters think you're being "silly". It's very clear cut - you have the right to have him withdrawn. You need to insist.

I didn't withdraw mine from religious assemblies, btw, but there was one particular local evangelical activist who got rather too involved with our non-demoninational community primary school for a couple of terms, and I did have ds2 taken out of his "lessons" because the content was offensive to me. The school didn't quibble.

Teacher saying you're silly for not supporting Christian religious beliefs isn't on and I'd firmly make that clear.

Still wouldn't exclude them from it though for reasons I stated above.

Disappointingly, many teachers aren't that great. That's also part of the life skills our kids learn from school! Older doesn't mean wiser or more professional

im fortunate enough to be in that position because my parents did not stop me from attending any kind of religious assembly at school .

I'd have no problem with my kids attending assemblies that teach what other religions believe. Similar to an RE lesson etc I think its an important part of raising kids who'll grow up to be well rounded empathetic adults. However this isn't how they are, they teach the christian religion as if it is fact, which I believe is wrong in a non-faith school. The catholic school is on the same campus, has much better results, our school is very much the poor relation BUT I still would never send my child there because as an atheist it's something I feel quite strongly about.

I am not religious but have fond memories of singing hymns and hearing the stories. Maybe it's you DC that wants to go?

I wonder why someone who will only teach your child for one academic year feels they have more parental rights and superiority over a legal guardian? I would move my child to the other class, this teacher has issues.

You can formally exclude them, though they will probably roll their eyes at you for doing so

If school staff choose to be that childish, why on earth should OP give a fuck?

Why avoid religion ? Nothing wrong with them learning about all the religions in the world

There's a very obvious difference between learning about religions and taking part in an act of worship.

And OP's reasons don't matter, do they? She has a right to withdraw her child which she has exercised, and very obviously the school should comply with its legal obligations and honour that right.

He's happy at the school. My point isi do not have any Christian views and neither do my children.

Let it go. Don’t impose your non Christian views on your kids. Let them be exposed to a bunch of stuff so they can make up their own minds

I'm interested at the idea that it's OK for a teacher to impose her opinions on the child despite them being contrary to the parents wishes.

Just to check, would be equally OK if the parent said "I'm a devout believer and I wish my child to attend the religious service" and the teacher said "superstitious mumbo-jumbo, she can wait outside?"

I don't get why you care honestly, me and all my friends did Religion and now as adults are not Religious. Kids are much more likely to do whatis practiced at home, you seriously have little to worry about if this bothers you op...I'm so stressed with my job, paying bills, a skin condition that won't heal.... and a million other things that to me this is just so trivial. Sorry to sound rude but is it really that big a deal??

LOL at "don't impose your non-Christian views on your child". Let other adults impose their Christian ones on him instead

It really doesn't matter WHY OP wants him withdrawn. The point is that she has the legal right to have him withdrawn and the school is defying her wishes.

But for the "Oh but hymns are lovely" brigade - imagine your nice community primary school brought in a team of Scientologists to indoctrinate your child during parts of the school day. Many people find Christian beliefs and practices every bit as illogical and inappropriate as that. It's nice that you have a different view, your children can attend then. OP doesn't want her child to, and that is her decision to make.

It is important to learn about religion because it touches so many lives and is the reason why people do wonderful/amazing / crazy things. (delete as appropriate) Better they understand now and you can discuss it then it be the forbidden thing they get curious about.

Don't be THAT parent your kids won't forget.

You have quite a religious attitude towards this, op. Dogmatic even.

" learn about religion" is not what's going on.

How do you think children turn into rabid catholics, fundamentalist mormons, devout muslims, Continuity Anglicans etc?

It's not through having serious discussions about comparative beliefs.

It's by repeated indoctrination through childhood.

What does your child want to do?

It is important to learn about religion because it touches so many lives and is the reason why people do wonderful/amazing / crazy things. (delete as appropriate)

Exactly, and since absolutely nothing is based on facts (unless it's starts with "some people believe") then it should be up to parents to decide what is taught as factual.

Teach what muslims believe but don't indoctrinate them. Teach what christians believe but don't indoctrinate them. Teach what atheists believe but don't indoctrinate. Simple you would think.

Just remind the school of its obigations. Your sons teacger does not have the right to over ride your decision. Occasionally mistakea may happen and children my end up in assemblies they should be in, however most school assemblies briefly touch on the subject as there's no time for a more in depth look. Also schools can struggle to staff the odd children who aren't in assembly as with budget cuts there are less support staff and often teachers get their ncct during assembly.

So, no yanbu, cobtact the school and flag this to the head teacher and it should stop.

Nothing wrong with being a ‘devout ‘anything .

@ pigletjohn , I think you will find that most people around our age sang Christian hymns at school and I think we would agree we weren’t being ‘ indoctrinated ‘ into ‘ anything LOL.

Tweety, when you were singing Christian hymns in school you WERE being indoctrinated. It may have been unsuccessful in many cases (indomitable human spirit, parents offsetting the nonsense with critical thinking skills etc) but that is what was happening.