AIBU when people say 'hows baby?' etc

[kateluvscats]

Small gripe but when I'm watching One Born Every Minute why do the midwives constantly say 'baby's nearly here', or 'baby's head is coming', or 'how's baby?' The correct phrase 'is the baby's heads coming' or 'the baby's nearly here'!!! Surely it's not so hard that you can't add the word 'THE'!!

I can accept the use of 'Baby' in the absence of a first name, more than I can take being addressed in the third person. "What does Mum think?" makes me cringe!

At a bit of a tangent, I recently came across something I didn't know I still had - the tag from when I gave birth to my first-born almost a quarter of a century ago, inscribed with 'Baby Boy Xxxxxxx'. Gave me a warm glow! Even dh, not known for his sentimental nature said "aww!" Baby boy in question not remotely interested, however 😁

I always assumed they used it in cases where the sex wasn’t known, in place of he, she, his, her etc. So “baby’s head is low” instead of “her head is low” that sort of thing.

I know what you mean OP. When dealing with h c ps or carers on my mother's behalf, they do this. Eg: is mum allergic to anything? Can mum dress herself? It's just a habit but really irritates me. So no not BU.

Something I found odd was when I had DS1 I told them his name as I was going into theatre. He was still tagged as Baby BOY. I gave them his name deliberately so they could use it.

I believe you can't use the name because it's not registered yet. We're just hospital numbers at birth

I find it very annoying!

I hate this too.
See also "I have mental health"

It would probably be more offensive if they used the wrong name. I'd much rather be addressed as "Mum" than "Mrs. Myexesname", which I am not and have never been called.

I am a doctor and I can assure you LightDrizzle many patients DO use Doctor or Nurse instead of Dr Smith or Nurse Jones. Both when calling across a ward for help and face to face in a consultation. Usually older people I have noticed. I can't say I mind at all - my actual name is of no relevance to their healthcare, but my role certainly is.
I use Baby as a replacement for an unborn baby's name; I will readily admit to not remembering the name even if you have told me, when I have so many to remember. I'd rather my brain was filled with useful information to take care of you both rather than a name that might later change!
However since reading about the dislike of Mum/Dad on here a while ago, I have tried to stop using this, or at least say Johnny's mum or his mum. I have no wish to offend and genuinely didn't realise I might be!

YANBU OP.
I've had 'How's 'GummyMummyLydia' today' and it makes me wanna run my fingernails down a blackboard. WTF is with that? If folk want to know how I am they just need to ask... How are you? NOT How's 'GummyMummyLydia' today.

I think it’s important to know what’s going on medically, especially in an emergency. It gains trust if they can tell you why.

So no I disagree Also, at the point of being told an emergency c section was needed to deliver my child safely I can't imagine the doctor's specific use of words to tell me that would really be on my priority list! Some people really need to relax a bit!

The reason I clearly remember ‘Baby is saying he needs help’ when I was told I was going for a c section was that I should have been given the medical facts, not a vague patronising statement like I was a child. It made me really confused and anxious. I then had to ask what the hell was actually happening and had to get the doctor to speak to me like an actual real person. All of it a waste of precious time and needless worry for me. The ‘baby’ Statements are relevant as it’s a way of being vague and overly simplistic, but as women going through labour it’s empowering and very helpful to have clear knowledge of what’s happening to us and why. Not vague patronising language. This gets in the way of the critical relationship between medic and woman in labour.

You also want the person giving you an emergency life procedure to view you as a person and I had to give my informed consent. I lost trust with the professional when it was really important we both had trust in each other.

When I first got to see my babies, i always said “hello baby!”, rather than “hello the baby”.

In your scenario “baby” is being used as a name. The midwife wouldn’t say “oh, I can see Charlotte’s head”.

After reading this thread I have decided to chill out about this! I understand now who HCPs talk like this.

'Baby is saying he needs help" is ridiculous, however.